A Dying Soul

* stretches arms upon head * Feels good to be back inside. :smokin

Ooh yeah, I am replying to your poem.

It rocked. I really liked the way it flowed and the word usage. I felt that the end was a little... not unfocused but it was something you added onto it. The third to last paragraph seemed to finish things off but you added two more after that... as though they were kind of like after thoughts. Not sure though. I thought it kicked ass. It's been awhile since I've read anything that made my eyes open a little wider and go "oooh wow".

Thanks.

Reznor

Author	Comment
NightAngel of Darkness Daemonic Lover Posts: 1491 (1/1/04 6:06 pm) Reply	A Dying Soul Within a heap upon the floor I sit with knees pulled tight against my chest. My hands wrapped around each other holding tight as I try not to do that thing, that bad thing. Tears fall swiftly away from blood shot eyes, the skin around them growing, swelling. The pain in my heart continues to throb as I stair into the mirror of internal pain. The silence of my room gives no sanction against the screaming thoughts that echo within my head. I cry out in pain as I reach for the one thing I know. The cold metallic blade quickly slides across the flesh of the forbidden. The pain giving release to the hell within, the tears fall slowly the eyes held tight before releasing into relaxation. The cold blade runs over tendering flesh once more. The soft sensation of trickling blood reassuring the soul that hides behind closed eyes. Slowly relaxing upon the floor the blood pools upon my skin; I relax into nothing my world concaving leaving my blood the only thing to remain. The questions fall forth tossing around like cruel and unusually torturous words: Why do I cause pain upon myself when I have done nothing wrong? When will I find my way through the darkness? When will my heart stop dying? When will the pain stop torturing my soul? I cry out once again, curling my knees close against my chest, arms wrapping over the cuts holding blood against the skin. I can’t help but drown in my failures for I see no light beyond the darkness. I am lost within my own tortured soul, blind from seeing too much. Suffering from receiving not enough. I am empty, I have loved all that I can love and now I lay within a shallow grave lost within my insanity. Drowning within my blood. ------------------- The beauty that stands before you is death. Her kiss is poison, Her gift is pain. I am that beauty... that pain,that thing that will poison you and leave you dying screaming invain. (Property of NightAngel of Darkness) Edited by: NightAngel of Darkness at: 1/1/04 6:08 pm
Reznor Daemon Soul Posts: 660 (1/16/04 12:32 pm) Reply	Re: A Dying Soul * stretches arms upon head * Feels good to be back inside. Ooh yeah, I am replying to your poem. It rocked. I really liked the way it flowed and the word usage. I felt that the end was a little... not unfocused but it was something you added onto it. The third to last paragraph seemed to finish things off but you added two more after that... as though they were kind of like after thoughts. Not sure though. I thought it kicked ass. It's been awhile since I've read anything that made my eyes open a little wider and go "oooh wow". Thanks. Reznor
Lady Felix New Toy Posts: 3 (2/22/07 8:03 pm) Reply	Re: A Dying Soul I like to leave my email address for you. I think I have some answers about getting rid of this pain. blackredbloodrose@yahoo.com

Darkened Angels > Dark Beholdings > A Dying Soul
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