An Affair Of The Heart

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Subject: An Affair Of The Heart
Posted By: OKDeanna - ezOP
Posts: 298
Posted At: (8/21/03 8:02 pm)
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Ethan & Theresa:
An Affair of the Heart

Author: Deanna (OKDeanna)
Email: asjfan@cox.net
Rating: R

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Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, JER & Passions do, I'm just borrowing them for awhile!

Important Note: This story may contain possible storyline spoilers. In this story, Ethan has admitted to Theresa that he loves her, but he has also told her that they can't be together that his family and her family would never allow it. Theresa told him she didn't care, but he told her she should. If they were together it could come down to her choosing between her family and his and he couldn't, wouldn't ask her to do that. She has now accepted that he must marry Gwen and is trying to be brave about it. The story begins the night before Ethan and Gwen's wedding. Lyric stanza’s are from Lila McCann’s song “Something In The Air.”

Part One: In an Ocean of Pain

THERESA LOPEZ-FITZGERALD watched as the ocean waves rolled in and out from the beach and wondered how in the world she was going to survive tomorrow. She had been in love with Ethan Crane all her life and tomorrow... tomorrow she was going to watch him marry another woman in a wedding that she had been planning and designing for years. Why was fate being so cruel? She knew Ethan and her were meant to be together. She knew it deep in her soul. But she also knew that fate was definitely not on her side anymore. Ethan knew how she felt about him and he had told her he felt the same way, yet he was still determined to marry Gwen.

She understood his reasons and she was trying to accept them, but it was so hard. It was so hard knowing she was about to lose the only man she had ever loved. Tomorrow was going to be the worst day of her life and she still wasn't sure she had the strength to survive it. She had convinced her mother that she could handle being Gwen's maid of honor, but she wasn't so sure anymore. How in the world was she going to walk up that aisle and see Ethan standing there knowing that he wasn't standing there waiting for her? It would kill her.

Tears welled in her eyes and she was powerless to stop them from falling. She had been so brave the last few weeks. She had convinced her mother, Whitney, and even Ethan that she was fine. But she had been pretending because inside, inside she was dying a slow painful death that only grew more painful as Ethan's wedding day drew near. And now the day she had been dreading for weeks was finally here. Tomorrow her dreams of marrying Ethan would be dashed to bits and she had no idea how she was going to survive.

Theresa hugged her knees to her chest and lowered her head against them as the tears continued to slide down her cheeks. Maybe if she cried enough tears tonight she wouldn't have any left for tomorrow. Somehow, she doubted that though. She could cry an ocean of tears tonight and still find more for tomorrow. Her heart was breaking and she knew it was her own fault. If only she had listened to her mother when she told her to stay away from Ethan, maybe she wouldn't be in so much pain right now. She had thought she was in love with him before she met him, but she knew she hadn't really and truly fallen in love with him until she started to spend time with him and really gotten to know him. Now she knew his heart, his soul, and it was making it that much harder to accept that he wasn't going to marry her.

She knew she had his heart. He had told her just a few short weeks ago. That had been the greatest moment of her life, but then he had explained that although he loved her, they could never be together. How could he turn his back on the love they had? How could he marry someone he wasn't completely and totally in love with? She had tried to change his mind, but he was determined to go through with the wedding. She knew in some twisted way, he was marrying Gwen to protect her... to protect her from his family and from Luis.

Luis still didn't know she worked for Mrs. Crane or that she helped plan and was going to be in Ethan's wedding to Gwen. She knew if he did find out, he would try to send her away. Not that he could. Now that she was eighteen she could do whatever she wanted. She didn't want to go against him, but she would if she had to. Then again, the only thing they didn't agree on was the Cranes. He thought she was over Ethan. Little did he know she was more in love with him than she ever was before. She knew he would go ballistic at the mere thought of her marrying into the Crane family. She knew he still believed that they had something to do with Papa's disappearance and she couldn't really disagree with him. But she still didn't understand why he included Ethan in his dislike of the Cranes. Ethan wasn't anything like the rest of his family.

Ethan. Tomorrow she would lose him. Tomorrow she would watch him marry someone else. She knew fate wasn't going to save her this time. The wheels had already been set in motion and there was nothing anyone could do to stop them. If only Ethan would change his mind...

'But he won't, Theresita.' Her mother's voice said echoing in her head. 'You just have to except that. He made his choice and it wasn't you.'

Theresa cried out in agony. Ethan loved her. He told her he did. He should be marrying her not Gwen. Tomorrow should be her wedding day to Ethan not Gwen's.

"God help me!" Theresa screamed into the cold, ocean air. "Give me the strength to deal with what will come tomorrow! I can't... I can't do it on my own!"

Tears blinded her eyes, pain sliced through her heart, and all she could think about was the fact that tomorrow she was going to lose Ethan forever. Tomorrow she would lose the only man she would ever love.

Part Two: Wishing On A Falling Star

ETHAN CRANE was a desperate man. He knew what he had to do tomorrow, but his heart... his heart still didn't understand why he had to do it. How could he marry Gwen knowing he was in love with Theresa? How could he stand before God and pledge to love Gwen when in his heart he knew he never could? Well that wasn't true, he loved Gwen, he probably always would, but he wasn't in love with her. He hadn't known the difference until he met Theresa. She showed him the meaning of love, real true love. If only they could be together, he thought, if only he and Theresa could be together. But they couldn't and he had to find a way to except that.

He hit the steering wheel with the palm of his hand then cursed as the bitterness slowly started to over take him. His family was determined that he would marry Gwen and he knew if he defied them - called off the wedding and told them he and Theresa were in love - they would make life a living hell for both him and Theresa. He knew his father and grandfather would never allow him to marry Theresa. Neither would his mother. They, along with Gwen's father, had been planning the Crane/Hotchkiss merger since his birth. A merger, he thought in disgust that's all his family saw it as, a damn merger.

He wanted more out of life than a loveless marriage like his parents had. He wanted... he wanted Theresa. He wanted to marry Theresa and spend the rest of his life with her. But he couldn't. He couldn't do that because both of their families would forbid it. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. He had finally found love, real love, and he couldn't even enjoy it because his family wouldn't let him.

Ethan let out a breath of frustration then swung his car onto the access road that led to the beach. He needed to clear his head and the ocean air always seemed to help. He knew he had to get a grip on these emotions that were threatening to tear him apart. He had to get control of himself. His wedding to Gwen was in less than twelve hours and he had to make sure he played the part of the happy groom. If anyone knew how he felt about Theresa or how she felt about him, it would be disastrous for both of them. Her brother would have a fit if he even thought that he and Theresa knew each other let alone were in love. And his parents and grandfather? He didn't even want to think about their reaction. If only he and Theresa were different people... then they would be free to be together.

He pulled into the beach parking lot and shut of his engine. Just as he opened the door and stepped out into the cool night air, he heard someone cry out. The pain was so heart-wrenching that it hit him in his own heart. He slammed the door then took off running down the path that led to the ocean. As he finally reached the clearing, he heard a woman scream out. "God help me. Give me the strength to deal with what will come tomorrow! I can't... I can't do it on my own!"

He recognized the voice immediately and began scanning the beach for her. He found her a few yards away, sitting on a blanket hugging he knees to her chest. He heard her cry out again and the next thing he knew, he was pulling her to her feet and wrapping his arms around her. He couldn't bare to see Theresa in so much pain... pain he knew he had caused.

Ethan pulled her head to his chest and began to gently stroke her hair. "Shh. Baby, please don't cry. I can't stand to see you cry."

"Ethan." She cried into his chest. "It hurts. It hurts so much."

He heard the pain in her voice and felt the tears start to rise in his own eyes. "I know, sweetie. God, do I know."

He wasn't sure how long they held onto each other, but he knew it felt right. It felt right to hold her and comfort her. When her sobs finally stopped, he pulled back and wiped the tears from her eyes. She closed her eyes as the pad of his thumbs brushed her cheeks and he knew she felt it too. That tingle of electricity that sliced between them each time they touched. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had to kiss her. If he was going to marry Gwen tomorrow then tonight he had to kiss Theresa, just one last time...

His lips brushed hers gently at first, but then, when she began kissing him back, he increased the pressure. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her body to his as her arms wrapped around his neck and held his head to hers. The passion exploded between them and he wondered how he would ever live with just one kiss. She moaned as his tongue slid along her bottom lip and he took the initiative and slipped it inside. The moment he tasted her sweet honey-dipped mouth he knew one kiss would never be enough. And that was when he pulled back. It wasn't fair to torment them both like this.

Ethan raised his head to the sky and prayed for God to help him. To give him some kind of sign as to what he was supposed to do. A second after he made the request, he saw a star shoot across the sky and he closed his eyes and made a wish. He made a wish that somehow, someway, he and Theresa could be together.

"Ethan," Theresa said placing her hands on his cheeks and pulling his face back down to hers. "Please don't stop. I need you. If I have to lose you tomorrow... If I have to live without you for the rest of my life then please give me something wonderful to block out the pain. Make love to me, Ethan. Give us at least one night together."

He swallowed hard then groaned as her lips covered his. He wasn't strong enough to resist her a second time. He wanted her too badly. He could deal with the consequences tomorrow... tonight, tonight he just wanted to love her. In one swift motion, Ethan reached down and picked her up into his arms then he carried her toward the blanket and gently laid her down. Another star shot across the sky and Ethan knew in his heart that it was time to show Theresa just how much he loved her. If they couldn't have forever then he would make tonight last for as long as he possibly could.

Part Three: A Night to Remember

A little luck
An act of fate
Something brought us here
Now love can't wait

Time literally seemed to stand still as Ethan knelt on the sand and gently laid her down on the blanket. His sapphire blue eyes stared into hers for what seemed like an eternity then he smiled and Theresa knew without a doubt that he was going to make love to her. Her dream of Ethan being her first lover was going to come true. This was where it was supposed to happen, she thought gazing into his blue eyes, not on their wedding night like she always thought, but here, tonight, right on this beach. This was the way it was meant to be. She could feel it down in the depths of her soul.

Theresa watched mesmerized as Ethan leaned over her and placed one thigh between her own. A second later, he lowered his body onto hers and captured her mouth with his. The moment their lips touched, an electrical current zipped through her body like a bolt of lightning zinged across a stormy sky. Their emotions were so raw that the passion between them acted as a lifeline, joining them heart and soul.

Ethan placed a hand at her waist then slowly eased her shirt up. She felt his fingers touch her side first then her abdomen until finally, his palm covered her breast. She moaned, loving the feel of his hands on her body. As he continued to massage her breast, she lowered her hands to his waist and pulled his shirt free from the waistband. He groaned as she ran her hands up underneath his shirt and dug her nails into his skin.

She felt his tongue run along her lips and she opened her mouth to allow him in. She loved the feel of his tongue, as it glided against her own. She loved kissing him. It came from the heart, she knew. Every kiss, every touch they shared, she knew they all came from the heart. They were a part of each other and she knew they always would be. What happened tomorrow no longer mattered, because what was happening right now, tonight, was much more important.

"Ethan," she said breathlessly against his lips. "I want you."

His hand stilled then he raised his head and caught her eyes with his. The depth of emotion she saw in his eyes literally stole her breath away. "I want you too. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone or anything. I love you, Theresa. I love you so much it hurts."

Fresh tears pooled in her eyes and she made no effort to hide them. They were no longer tears of sadness. These were tears of happiness, pure soul stirring happiness. "I love you too, Ethan. I loved you before I even met you."

An awed smile crossed his face and then he shook his head in disbelief. "I don't deserve you."

Theresa reached up to place a hand on his cheek then looked into his eyes and gave him a smile that came straight from her heart. "But you have me, Ethan. Body, mind, heart, and soul, you have me."

He gave a guttural growl then once again covered her mouth with his. The kiss was filled with so much tenderness and love that she thought her heart would burst with happiness. Not only did his words say he loved her, but his actions said so too. She didn't care what happened tomorrow, because tonight she was in Ethan's arms. Tonight she was the one he loved with all his heart and she knew deep in her heart that he would not be in her arms now if he still intended on going through with the wedding. Somehow, he would find away for them to be together, she could feel it. Fate was not done with them yet, she thought. Fate would somehow bring them together. It was after all their destiny.

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Every tender touch is fire
Every single sound is the sound of desire

Ethan knew he didn't have the right to be making love to Theresa. He was after all going to marry another woman tomorrow, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to stop. A part of him, a part he didn't even know was there, had been unlocked and there was no way he could stop the roller coaster of emotions coursing through his body. He needed to be with her tonight just as much as she needed to be with him.

He raised himself up onto his knees then reached down and pulled her up into a sitting position. A second later, his hands slid up her sides to the edge of her shirt then tugged up her arms and over her head. The moonlight cast just enough light that he could see her hardened nipples peaking out of the material of her white lace bra. She was so beautiful, so breathtakingly beautiful. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him then buried his face in the hollow space between her breasts. Her hands wound themselves in his hair as he continued to kiss his way across her chest. He raised a hand to the snap of her bra then slowly released the clasp. He kissed the hollow of her neck then slowly pulled back and let the bra fell from her body. He sucked in a deep breath at the site she provided. She was just as perfect as he knew she would be.

He reached for her, but stopped when he felt her hands on his chest. Her exquisite brown eyes took on a seductive gleam as she slowly unbuttoned his shirt. Once all the buttons were undone, she lovingly ran her hands up his chest and over his shoulders then slid the shirt down his arms. She leaned in to place a kiss on his chest and he closed his eyes in pleasure. It was as if he had been waiting a lifetime to be with her like this.

He groaned as she kissed her way up his chest, over his jaw, toward his ear. Her teeth lightly nipped his ear and he couldn't stop himself any longer. He snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her body to his. They groaned in unison as bare skin met bare skin. The effect of her hardened nipples hitting his chest was... ethereal. He couldn't wait until they were joined together. He knew that when they moment came it would be unlike anything he had ever felt before.

Ethan placed a hand on the blanket behind them, then gently lowered her back onto the blanket. Then he lowered his hands to the zipper of her pants and slowly eased it down. Their eyes met as he tugged her pants, along with her panties, down her hips and finally pulled them from her body. He raked his gaze over her and couldn't hide the appreciation at what he saw. She had a body men would kill to see and here she was offering it to him. He felt like the luckiest man in the world and he knew he didn't deserve the precious gift she was giving him. Yet, he couldn't find the strength to let her go.

Theresa reached for the snap of his pants, but he quickly grabbed her hands. "You'd better let me do that, sweetheart. I don't think I could handle your touching me."

She blushed and he smiled then quickly shed his jeans and underwear. He tossed them to the side, but not before getting the foil packet out of his wallet. After he had protected them, he settled himself between her thighs and showed her exactly how much he loved her. As they fell asleep beneath the star filled sky, he knew it was a night neither of them would ever forget.

Part Four: When Morning Comes

Never Forget Me
For I Will Love You Always

~~~~~~~~~ Dream ~~~~~~~~~

Theresa saw him the moment she stepped into the arched doorway of the church. He looked so handsome standing up there in that white black tuxedo, waiting for her, she thought with a smile. The love in his eyes was clear and bright. He finally knew they were meant to be and today was the day they would prove it to the world. Today was the day she would become Mrs. Ethan Crane. She had always known fate would bring them together and it hadn’t let her down. In a few moments, after a lifetime of dreaming, she would be Ethan’s wife.

The wedding march began to play and she started her walk down the aisle, never taking her eyes off Ethan’s. Just as she reached the altar and Ethan’s side, the wedding march started over and Ethan turned away from her. She furrowed her brow in confusion then turned to see what had caught his attention. Her heart stopped beating when she saw Gwen walking down the aisle toward them. When she got to the altar she took her place by Ethan’s side and Theresa watched in horror as the man of her dreams married another woman. When it was over, and Father Lonigan had pronounced Gwen and Ethan husband and wife, Theresa finally realized that her mother and Whitney had been right all along. Ethan Crane would never marry her.

~~~~~~~~~ End of Dream ~~~~~~~~~

“NOOOO!” Theresa yelled, her scream piercing the morning breeze.

“Theresa?” Ethan asked immediately wrapping his arms around her. “What’s wrong?”

Tears slid silently down her cheeks as she realized that today could possibly be the day that her nightmare would come true. Today was Ethan’s wedding day – to Gwen. Dear god, how would she be able to stand at the altar and pretend her heart wasn’t breaking? How could she stand up in church and watch the man of her dreams, a man she’d made love to just last night, marry another woman? She should have realized how difficult that would be last night, but she had been so grief stricken that all she wanted was for Ethan to put his arms around her and block out all the pain she was feeling inside. She’d just wanted one night to remember and he gave it to her. He’d given her a night she would never forget.

But now she had to face the light of day. Now she had to face the fact that today Ethan would marry Gwen. All her dreams were about to come crashing down. In just a few short hours she would watch the man she loved marry another woman. She knew it would take all the strength she possessed to put on a happy face and pretend her heart wasn’t shattering into a million tiny pieces. God, why did fate have to be so cruel? Why couldn’t she and Ethan be two totally different people? Then they would be free to be together. But of course that was just a dream. They were who they were and no amount of wishing would change that.

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“Theresa?” Ethan said turning her around to face him. When he saw her tears, a dull ache shot straight through his heart. “Please don’t cry, sweetheart. Please don’t cry.”

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her head to his chest, wishing he could erase all the pain he was causing her. He’d give anything to be able to put that light back in her eyes, to put a smile back on her face, but he knew the only way to do that would be to call off the wedding and he couldn’t do that no matter how much he wanted to. His family didn’t care about love the way Theresa’s did. They didn’t give a damn about anything but money and power. They had been planning his wedding to Gwen almost his whole life and he knew if he defied them now, they would make life a living hell for Theresa. He couldn’t put her through that. He knew what his family - and Gwen’s family - was capable of. He’d taken off his rose-colored glasses months ago. He knew they would destroy Theresa’s whole world and he couldn’t let that happen. As crazy as it sounded, the only way to protect Theresa was for him to marry Gwen.

“I’m trying to be strong.” She whispered against his chest. “I’m trying to be brave, but Ethan I feel like I’m dying inside.”

“I know baby. I feel the same way.”

She raised her head and looked at him. “But you’re still going to go through with it, aren’t you?”

He wished he could tell her what she wanted to hear, but he couldn’t. He got up, unable to look her in the eyes a second longer, then pulled on his clothes. “Yes, I have to. I have no choice.”

She closed her eyes as more tears trickled down her cheeks then stood and reached for her own clothes. When she was finished dressing she looked up and met his eyes, he was surprised by the intensity he saw. “You always have a choice Ethan. You can choose not to marry Gwen. You’re family doesn’t scare me. If I have you, I can handle anything.”

He wished that were true. He wasn’t doubting Theresa’s strength, he knew what a strong woman she was, but he also knew his family was capable of almost anything. He didn’t want Theresa to have to handle his family. He wanted them as far away from her as they could possibly be. There was someone else they had to worry about too. “What about Luis? He would never accept us being together. He hates my family you know that. That’s the whole reason he and Sheridan aren’t together.”

“I can handle Luis, Ethan.”

He wasn’t so sure about that. He’d seen her afraid of Luis finding them together on more than one occasion. He knew Luis would never accept his little sister getting involved with a Crane and he refused to put Theresa in that position. “I’m sorry, Theresa. But I have no choice. I have to marry Gwen.”

Her silence was deafening. He wished she would say something, but then again he wished she wouldn’t. He knew the longer they stayed here, the harder it was going to be to walk away from each other. “Theresa, I –“

“Don’t.” She said raising a hand and closing her eyes. “I don’t need to hear anymore. You made your choice.”

Tears started to fall down her cheeks again, but he didn’t move toward her. He knew if he touched her one more time, he would never be able to do what he knew he had to do. Evidently, she felt the same way because she stepped back away from him. When she opened her eyes, the pain in them was almost unbearable. “I have to go. Mama will be worried about me. I didn’t leave her a note about my coming to the beach. I... I was upset and didn’t think about it.”

She was gone before he could stop her. God, he thought falling to the blanket and burying his face in his hands. He was such a bastard. He didn’t deserve the precious gift Theresa had given him. He didn’t deserve Theresa’s love… He didn’t deserve Theresa period. In a few hours, he was going to shatter her heart. He was going to shatter her dreams, her belief in fate, her belief that love would conquer all. And for that, he would never forgive himself.

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Theresa had just stepped onto the porch when her mother threw open the door. “Theresita! Where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you! Why did you not call me?”

“I’m sorry, Mama. I’ve been at the beach. I needed some time to myself and I ended up falling asleep. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Hija, are you all right?”

Theresa nodded. “I’m fine Mama. Don’t worry about me.”

“I can’t help, but worry about you. You’re my daughter. Maybe you should stay home today. I can tell them you’re aren’t feeling well.”

Theresa shook her head no. “Mama, I have to go. You know I do. I’m not going to cause a scene. I promise you. Ethan has made his choice. I accept that.”

“Theresa, I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“It’s too late for that Mama.” Theresa gave her mother a sad smile then walked into her bedroom and shut the door. The dress she was wearing to the wedding laid on her bed as a reminder of what was going to happen today. She was going to Ethan’s wedding only she wasn’t going as the bride. She felt the tears start to slip down her cheeks again, but she reached up to wipe them away. She had to stop this now. She had to block the pain of losing Ethan out of her mind. At least until after the wedding was over. Once it was, she could make her excuses and then she could leave. She shook her head and grabbed the dress off her bed then headed into the bathroom to shower and get ready for the wedding that was never supposed to happen.

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Ethan stepped out of the shower and glared at the tux hanging on the back of the door. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of his life, but in actuality it was the worst. He was about to marry a woman he didn’t love while the woman he did love stood by and watched. How could he watch Theresa walk down that aisle today knowing she wasn’t walking down it as his bride? How could he say his vows to Gwen in a church, in front of God and everyone, knowing it was all a big lie? He didn’t love Gwen. He didn’t want to marry Gwen. He wanted Theresa. But he couldn’t call off the wedding because by doing so he would be defying his family and ultimately he would be destroying the life of the woman he loved.

He quickly pulled on his underwear and the black tuxedo pants then turned toward the mirror and wiped away the steam that had collected on it. He sucked in a deep breath as he saw his reflection in the mirror. He did not look the part of a happy groom. In fact, he looked like he was about to confront a firing squad at high noon. He shook his head then picked up his can of shaving cream and began to clean himself up. Once he was done, the only evidence of his unhappiness was in his eyes. They were tinted with a dull sheen that he knew wouldn’t disappear anytime soon. He knew he would be seeing that same look in the mirror for the rest of his life. How could he not? Without Theresa in his life, he would never be happy again.

“Ethan?” His mother called out from his bedroom. “Are you almost ready? We have to leave for the church soon. You don’t want to be late to your own wedding, do you?”

No, he didn’t want to be late to his own wedding. He just didn’t want to go at all. He quickly finished getting ready and once he had masked the unhappiness in his eyes, he opened the door and stepped out into the room. His mother’s smile widened and he somehow managed to return it. He cleared his throat then forced two words he didn’t mean past his lips. “I’m ready.”

Part Five: The Truth Shall Set You Free

Theresa walked into the church and the site that greeted her literally stole her breath away. Her dream wedding was staring her right in the face only she wasn’t the bride. The decorations looked just as they had in all her dreams. Every last detail had been seen to. And she couldn’t help but wish it all just disappeared.

She shook her head and walked further inside. She saw Sheridan standing beside Ivy and immediately looked around for Luis. She didn’t see him so she figured she was safe. Although, Luis being there would no longer matter. As soon as Ethan said I do to Gwen, her life as she knew it would be over anyway and that convent Luis threatened to send her to would probably be a welcome relief to fight the pain in her heart.

She saw Gwen’s barracuda mother walk her way and immediately took a step back. She felt two hands wrap around her waist and when she turned she saw Julian Crane standing there with a funny smile on his face. “Sorry, Mr. Crane. I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“That’s all right, Theresa dear. I didn’t mind at all.” He leaned his head closer to her neck and sniffed. “Mmm, what is that delicious perfume you are wearing? I love it.”

“Oh, it’s –“

“Mr. Crane,” her mother interrupted. “Take your hands off my daughter!”

Theresa turned to meet her mother’s flashing Irish eyes and wondered what was going through her head. From the way she was acting it was almost as if she thought Mr. Crane was putting the moves on her, which from her point of view was utterly ridiculous. But judging by the look in her mother’s eyes, she obviously didn’t think so. “Mama, calm down. I backed up not realizing Mr. Crane was behind me.”

“Yes, Pilar. Theresa backed up right into my arms. I was afraid she was going to fall so I tried to steady her.”

“Yes, well, she looks fine now so kindly remove your hands.”

Theresa felt Mr. Crane back away and then she felt his hand on the small of her back. He said a quick goodbye then let his fingers lightly trailed her backside as he moved off. She shivered in the realization that his touch had been anything but innocent. Maybe her mother was right. She shook her head and decided to think about that later. She had more important things to worry about – like how to hide the fact that she did not want this wedding to take place. A tear threatened to fall and she closed her eyes tight in the hope to stop it. When she opened them again, her mother was standing in front of her with a face that warned her another lecture was coming.

“Theresita, why do you persist on putting yourself through this? You don’t have to do this. Ethan will understand why you can’t.”

“No, Mama.” Theresa said meeting her eyes with more determination than she actually felt. “I have to do this. I have to do this for me. If this wedding takes place, then I have to be here to see it. It’s the only way I’ll believe it. You know that.”

Her mother nodded as if she actually understood. “Okay. But I don’t like to see you in so much pain. You’re my daughter and I love you. I just want to –“

“I know, Mama. I know you want to protect me and I love you for that. But this time, you can’t protect me. This time I have to learn for myself.”

Her mother walked toward her and placed her arms around her in a comforting hug. Theresa returned it then quickly backed away knowing if she didn’t she would lose the control she was determined to maintain today. She had promised herself that she would let Ethan go. He had made his choice and she had to accept that. It hurt knowing that even after the wonderful night they shared last night, he was still determined to go through with this wedding. It was a sham. Gwen didn’t love Ethan anymore than he loved her. She knew she didn’t, but she couldn’t prove it and even if she could, she wasn’t sure it would matter. After all, Ethan knew he loved her, had even admitted it to her, but he was still choosing to marry Gwen.

“Theresa,” Sheridan called from behind her mother. “Gwen asked me to tell you to come into the bride’s room. She wanted you to help her with her veil or something.”

Theresa swallowed hard, exchanged a look with her mother, then sent Sheridan a small smile. “Okay, I’ll go help her then.”

She walked down the aisle toward the front where the wedding would take place and almost lost her footing when she saw Ethan standing there. Their eyes met and memories of last night past between them. She saw him suck in a breath and then he lowered his eyes and boldly raked them over her body. The maid of honor dress fit her perfectly and she knew from the way his blue eyes darkened that he thought so too. When his eyes found hers again and he started to take a step toward her she shook her head. He stopped instantly.

She broke the eye contact between them and lowered her gaze toward the floor. Then she brushed past him and started walking toward the bride’s room. She could feel his eyes on her as she walked away, but she refused to turn around. She’d give anything for him to call off this wedding, but she knew he wouldn’t. That was the reason she couldn’t allow herself to talk with him today. She knew if she did she would beg him to change his mind, but she knew it would make it harder on him and she didn’t want to do that. She had promised herself she wouldn’t do that. Because seeing the regret and sadness in his eyes would kill her.

When she raised her head again, she found herself standing in front of the bride’s room. She raised her shaking hand toward the doorknob then closed it around it and turned the knob. The door opened with a creak and Theresa took a deep breath when her eyes connected with Gwen’s in the vanity mirror. She swallowed hard then forced herself to speak. “Uh, Sheridan said you wanted to see me.”

“Yes, I did.” Gwen said reaching for the veil on the edge of the vanity. “Do you think you could help me put this on? Sheridan and I tried but neither one of us could get it to fit right. I thought since you designed the dress and veil you might be able to do something.”

Theresa stood frozen for about ten seconds then finally nodded and walked toward the veil. She picked it up and ran her hand over the smooth satin that acted as a hat. When she started to place it on Gwen’s head, her hands shook so bad she dropped it to the floor. “Oh, I’m sorry Gwen.”

“That’s all right, Theresa. You know I think you’re more nervous than I am!” Gwen laughed at that. “If I didn’t know any better I would think you were the one getting married today.”

Theresa straightened and she must have straightened a little too soon because she suddenly became dizzy. “Oh!” She said clutching the back of Gwen’s chair.

“Theresa?” Gwen asked scooting out of the chair and helping her to sit down. “Are you okay? You look really pale all of the sudden.”

Theresa glanced in the mirror and saw that Gwen was right. She did look pale. Her face was drawn so tight she couldn’t have forced a smile to save her life. If she looked like this before the wedding what was she going to look like after the fact?

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Ethan watched Theresa walk down the hall toward the bride’s room and couldn’t help the feelings of guilt that washed over him. He had seen the sadness in her eyes and knowing that he caused it, put an ache the size of Mt. Everest in his chest. His closed his eyes as her shaking hand closed over the doorknob. He could feel the pain rushing through her as she turned it and walked into the room. He knew what it was costing her to do so and it broke his heart. Hell, he thought clenching his fist, if the tables were turned, and today was Theresa’s wedding day, he would not have been able to do what she was doing. Just the thought of her with another guy was enough to set his teeth on edge and his heart lurching to his feet. There was no way he could stand by and let her marry another guy. It would kill him. But he knew eventually that it would happen. After all once he said I do to Gwen, he would ultimately be saying goodbye to Theresa. He knew whatever connection they had between them would die up there at that alter the moment Father Lonigan pronounced Gwen and him husband and wife.

He’d give anything and everything he had to be able to call of the wedding, but he couldn’t. Because there was no way he would risk his father or grandfather going after Theresa. And he had no doubt in his mind that they would. If they thought, even for a moment, that she was a threat to this merger of a marriage, they wouldn’t hesitate to try and destroy her and the rest of her family. He could deal with Luis’ wrath of hatred for him and his family, but he knew Theresa couldn’t deal with the wrath of his. His father and grandfather were ruthless in business and lethal when the family was threatened. He knew without a doubt that they would see Theresa as a major threat. The Crane-Hotchkiss merger had been planned for years and they would stop at nothing to see that it went off without a hitch. He had to protect Theresa at all costs and if that meant he had to break her heart and marry a woman he didn’t love then so be it. He would do whatever he had to do to protect the woman that held his heart in her slender hands.

He opened his eyes and looked around the church, when they landed on Gwen’s mother and he saw the suspicion in them, he knew he had to get out of there. He had to get some air. It was starting to get a little stuffy. He pivoted around and made his way toward the back exit of the church. He had just started to turn the doorknob, but when he heard his mother’s voice, he froze.

“Are you sure you hid those papers in a safe, Pilar? If Julian ever found them… if he learned my secret that Ethan is Sam’s son… that he isn’t a Crane? It would ruin everything… everything I’ve -.”

“Mrs. Crane calm down. Someone could hear you. The papers are safe. No one will find them. No one will know Ethan is a Bennett and not a Crane.”

“I hope you’re right, Pilar. Because everything depends on it. Everything depends on Julian never finding out that Ethan is Sam’s son that he is a Bennett, not a Crane.”

The door suddenly opened and when his mother saw him standing there her face turned pale… very pale. Her eyes widened and she let out a startled, “Ethan.”

He could see the fear in her eyes and in that one instant everything he had wished for fell into place. He knew he should have been mad that his mother had kept the truth from him, and he was, but right now he had more important things to do – like calling off a wedding! A Bennett...not a Crane. His wish to be someone else had actually come true and because of that he and Theresa could be together. No one could stand in their way now. No one would have a reason to. If he wasn’t a Crane then his father and grandfather… or rather Julian and Alistair… would have no reason to go after Theresa. And Luis wouldn’t be able to object to Theresa marrying the son of the police chief because Sam was his boss not to mention the fact that Hank Bennett was his best friend!

God, Ethan thought shaking his head, Sam Bennett, the man he’d tried to have fired, was his father. At one time that news would have turned his stomach sour, but now… now it was practically music to his ears. He didn’t have to marry Gwen. He didn’t have to break Theresa’s heart. “Theresa,” he whispered breaking out into a huge grin. “I can finally be with Theresa.”

“What!” his mother screamed. “Ethan what are you talking about? What do you mean you can finally be with Theresa?”

“What I mean mother dear, is that finally fate is on my side. If I’m Sam Bennett’s son then that means I’m not a Crane and I don’t have to marry Gwen. I can marry the woman I love and THAT is Theresa Lopez-Fitzgerald.”

Pilar placed a hand over her heart and muttered, “Dios mio.” His mother grabbed the wall to steady herself, but Ethan he didn’t even blink, he just turned and ran toward the other side of the church. He ran toward the woman he loved… the woman he was going to marry.

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Theresa had just finished fixing Gwen’s bridal veil when the door to the bride’s room opened. She glanced up and her eyes connected with Ethan’s. She sucked in a deep breath at the look he gave her and when he broke out into a huge grin, she knew. He wasn’t going to marry Gwen. He was going to call off the wedding. She let out a squeal of happiness then whirled around and ran straight into his open arms. As soon as she raised her head to look at him, he covered her mouth in a passionate kiss. She met it with eager anticipation. She could hear Gwen yelling in the background, demanding to know what was going on but she didn’t care. The only thing she cared about was the fact that she was right where she belonged… in the arms of the man she loved.

Part Six: Dreams Really Do Come True – Six months later

Theresa stood in front of the doorway to the church and couldn’t contain a smile from forming on her lips. Her whole life had been leading up to this one day. Everything she’d ever wanted was waiting for her inside those double doors. As a bride’s maid, Sheridan would be the first to walk in then Whitney the maid of honor and finally it would be her turn. She took a deep breath then glanced at the man beside her. Luis had come around so much since they found out Ethan was Sam’s son. He and Ethan still had issues but they were gradually beginning to build a friendship, one she was extremely grateful for.

Luis turned his head to look at her then giving her a wide smile and held out his arm. “Are you ready, Theresa? I have it on good authority that there is a man inside that is getting mighty impatient to see you.”

Theresa laughed then took her brother’s arm. “I have never been more ready for anything in my entire life. I’m marrying the man of my dreams today. The man I’ve wished for and dreamed of all my life.”

Luis nodded. “Yes you are and you always knew it would happen too. You always said it was fate and now I guess you are proving all those who didn’t believe, including me, wrong. I’m proud of you, Theresa. No matter how bad or how impossible things seemed to be you never gave up believing that everything would work out. I’m glad you didn’t listen to me when I told you to stay away from Ethan. You were right. You two do belong together. Anyone with two eyes in their head can see that and I’ve finally opened my eyes to it too. Ethan is a good man, I see that now, and I know he loves you more than anything in this world.”

The music started and the double doors opened. Theresa sucked in a breath knowing that in few moments she would see Ethan. She tried to look around Sheridan and Whitney but Luis held her firmly to his side. She sighed then turned and gave him a small pout. “Luis, I just want to peek at him.”

He laughed. “You’ll see him soon enough.” Luis reached up and lowered the veil over her face then smiled at the sight she provided. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look? You grew up so fast. It seems like yesterday that you were that little girl in pigtails following after Hank and me. I know you wish papa were here to walk you down the aisle and I do too, but I can’t say I’m not glad that I get to take that walk with you today.”

Theresa raised up and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I’m glad too, Luis. I do wish papa and Antonio were here, but they can’t be and I understand that. I know wherever they are they would be happy for me. They would give Ethan and I their blessing. I know that.”

He nodded then turned to watch Sheridan start her walk down the aisle. Theresa grinned when she saw the look in his eyes. She knew that someday soon he and Sheridan would be having their own wedding. They seemed to be getting closer lately and Theresa saw the looks that had been passing between them. They loved each other and she knew it was only a matter of time before they realized it.

Whitney started her walk and Theresa glanced toward the front where Ethan stood. Their eyes met and she had to suck in a deep breath when the love she felt for him rushed through her body like a tidal wave. All her life she had dreamed of this one moment and now it was here. She wasn’t nervous and she had absolutely no doubts. This was what was meant to be… it was fate.

The wedding march began to play and she held Luis arm as they walked down the aisle. She and Ethan never broke eye contact as she and Luis made their way down the aisle. Once they reached Ethan, Luis untucked her arm from his and placed then placed gently grabbed her hand and kissed it. The next thing Luis did was place her hand in Ethan’s outstretched one. She knew it took a lot for him to do that and she managed to look away from Ethan long enough to give him a bright smile. He returned it then turned and took a seat next to Sheridan.

Theresa looked up into Ethan’s eyes as Father Lonigan began the ceremony. He spoke of the love she and Ethan had for each other and how god was smiling down on them today because they had found each other. She knew he was right. She could feel it in the depths of her soul just as she always had. She had always known she and Ethan were destined to be together but she had never felt it more than she did right now.

Father Lonigan spoke for a few more minutes then announced it was time for them to say their vows. Theresa took a deep breath then took his ring from Whitney and looking into his eyes, she told him what was in her heart, what had been in her heart for as long as she could remember. “Ethan, I have dreamed of this moment all of my life. I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were the one I was supposed to be with. I knew deep in my soul that you would be the man I would marry. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t met yet… that I was only looking at your picture in a magazine. The moment I saw your face… your eyes I knew… I knew that we were destined to be together. No matter how crazy everyone told me I was or how impossible us being together seemed I couldn’t believe it. The feelings I had for you… the love I had for you was too strong to deny.”

“When we met we had this connection between us that no one could explain or ignore. Yes, we had obstacles, but because of our love we overcame each and every one of them. Fate was on our side. Today I stand before you and I pledge to love you, to honor you, to cherish you for the rest of our lives. No matter what life has in store for us together we will get through it because together we can do anything. We’ve already proved that. I love you Ethan Bennett and today as we stand before god and all our family and friends I give you everything I have inside me.” Never taking her eyes off his, Theresa slid the ring on his finger. “This ring is a symbol of my love, my faith, and my trust. And with all that I have, all that I am, and all that I ever will be I give it to you, I give you my love… I give you my heart for eternity.”

Theresa felt the tears sliding down her cheeks and she didn’t care. She wasn’t the only one, Ethan had tears in his eyes too. He turned and took her ring from Chad then he turned back to her and told her what was in his heart. “Theresa, you aren’t the only one that dreamed of this moment. It’s true that you had a head start on me and yes it took me awhile to catch up with you, but once I did I knew I would never love anyone as much as I love you. You brought something into my life that I never even knew existed. One look into your big brown eyes and I fell so hard and so deep that it took me months to realize what I was feeling for you wasn’t only friendship but love as well. Your love and your never ending belief in fate brought out something inside of me that had been missing for way too long. Through your love and your faith I became the man I am today. A man free to make his own choices and a man free to love you with all of his heart and I do. I love you with everything I have inside me.”

“When I was younger I wished for a woman like you, someone that loved me for me and not for the money or my family name. Now I may have lost the money I grew up having and the family I grew up knowing, but I’ve gained so much more than I lost. I have a wonderful new family and a woman who loves me just as much as I love her. I may not have a cent to my name, but I’m still the richest man in the world because I have you and I have your love. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Theresa, and with you by my side I can do anything.” He slid the ring onto her finger and Theresa of joy rolled down her cheeks. “This ring symbolizes my love, my faith and my trust. Today in front of god and all those who love us, I give you my love. And with all that I have, all that I am, and all that I ever will be. I give you my heart for eternity. I love you Theresa Pilar Lopez-Fitzgerald. I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul.”

Father Lonigan placed his hand over their joined hands then asked everyone to bow their heads in prayer. Once the prayer was over, he pronounced them husband and wife. “Ethan, you may now kiss your bride.”

Ethan smiled then raised her veil. He stared at her for a heartbeat then he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Heart met heart and soul met soul. She didn’t hear the thunderous applause that sounded throughout the church or the wolf whistle Chad let out. The only thing she was aware of was the fact that her dream of becoming Ethan’s wife had finally come true and it was even better than she imagined it would be. And she knew it was only going to get better. After all, tonight they would be the first time they made love as husband and wife and she had no doubt it was going to be the greatest night of their lives.

Ethan raised his head and gave her a smile that shot straight to her heart. “And then,” he whispered. “they lived happily ever after.”

Theresa laughed then pulled his face to hers. “Happily ever after is something you say at the end of a story, sweetheart… our story is only just beginning.”

He laughed then pulled her body closer to his. “You couldn’t be more right. So what do you say we get out of here, Mrs. Bennett? I’m kind of anxious to begin the next chapter.”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Hand in hand they walked back down the aisle and out the front door of the church. A horse drawn carriage met them at the bottom of the steps and as they got in Theresa tossed her bouquet over her head. It landed in Sheridan’s arms and she laughed at the looks on both her and Luis faces. Apparently, fate had chosen Sheridan and Luis to be the next couple to walk down the aisle and fate, Theresa thought smiling and looking into her husband’s ocean blue eyes, always won out in the end.

THE END

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An Affair Of The Heart	OKDeanna	8/21/03 8:02 pm
Re: An Affair Of The Heart	sexyangel221980	8/24/03 5:40 pm
Re: An Affair Of The Heart	OKDeanna	8/25/03 8:23 am

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