Noralaura
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Posts: 43
(10/29/03 4:53 pm)
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Choices Part 2
Part 2
She looked around the bar avoiding his question, all that remained where the two of them and a couple pawing at each other in a dark corner. “I’m waiting Nora.”
“Look R.J, I said I don’t know what is going on with me.”
“Well, let me help you put it into perspective then.” He continued unsympathetically. “You come in here, with the intention of getting bombed, I try to convince you that it’s not a great idea, but then you get angry. So fine, I serve you. We have some fun, play some darts, dance a little and then YOU kiss me.”
“I know WHAT I did R.J. I’m saying I don’t know why I did it!”
“Really, cause this isn’t the first time you’ve turned to me you know.”
“Please don’t remind me.”
“Why not Nora, I mean is it really fine for you to come in here and lead me on like you did?”
Shocked. “R.J. I wasn’t leading you on, I mean… I didn’t mean too.”
“Oh come on now Nora, sure you did.” He moves closer to her, slowly trailing a finger down the side of her face then sweeping gently across her lips “There’s something in me that you’re drawn to and I think it’s time you face that.”
She tried to swallow replacing her own fingers to her lips. “No R.J. it was just a mistake that’s all.”
Sliding his hands around her waist, he pulls her to him, until they meet hipbone to hipbone. “I don’t think so Nora.” She tries to push distance between them with her arms but he holds her tight.
“Please don’t R.J.”
Titling his head downward he whispers into her ear “Why, afraid you might do something you shouldn’t? Is that it Nora?” Taking a finger he lifts her head upwards. “Is it?”
“Please let me go R.J.”
“I thought this was what you wanted Nora, me and you again. Remember the first time, how incredible that was.” Slowly kissing up her neck.
“Please stop.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want me to do Nora? I mean your mouth is saying one thing,” He moves in to kiss her. “but I can tell that you don’t really mean it.”
“I said stop it! Let go of me NOW!”
“That’s what I thought.” pushing her away from him, “all you are is a tease Nora.”
Completely embarrassed. “I…oh god…I’m sorry.”
“Well you should be. I’m not gonna be just some fall back guy you can turn to whenever your ego needs a boost.”
“Excuse me?!”
“You used me Nora, I had real feelings for you and you used me to get back at Hank”
“Oh no R.J. you are not going to blame this whole thing on me. You slept with your brothers wife!”
“Yeah, too bad for him that she was so easy.” Her hand was sharp and quick against his face. “How dare you!” grabbing the offensive arm he held it at her side.
“How dare I? Why don’t you just admit it Nora, Hank just couldn’t do it for you.” Struggling to free her arm.
“Shut up. Just shut up!”
“Everyone always thinks you’re so virtuous and admirable, if only they knew the half of it.”
“Why are you doing this to me R.J?”
“Little miss perfect.”
“I’m not! I’m not perfect! And I’m sick to death of everyone expecting me to be!”
“But you see Nora… I never did expect that from you. Now Bo or Hank, I don’t know how you could even stand trying to live up to their expectations.”
“Well I didn’t, are you happy? I failed miserably in both of my marriages.”
Finally releasing her arms. “No you didn’t Nora, you made mistakes just like the rest of us.”
“I cheated on both of my husbands, that is more than just a mistake in my book.”
“It’s not like Sam wasn’t all over you, trying to weasel his way in between you and Bo.”
“It’s wasn’t Sam’s fault, I let him in. I’m the one who asked him to sleep with me R.J.”
“Well you did that for Bo I thought?”
“Yes, but that still doesn’t make it right. Bo never really could forgive me for that.” Looking down uncomfortably. “And then there’s what I did to Sam.”
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe you choose men that are just not right for you? Who put you on a pedestal and when you make one mistake they gladly push you off? I mean what kind of love is that Nora?”
Sadly “I don’t know R.J. maybe I need them for some kind of validation, I mean if a noble and just man can love me, I must really be worth something then, you know?
“Yes, I do know. I felt the same way about you.”
Somewhat taken aback “You did?”
“Yes, and I couldn’t help but wonder why I could never measure up to the kind of man you wanted to be with.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t good enough R.J. You are. You are a very good person down under all of these walls you put up.
Smiling at her “Thank you, from you I actually believe it.”
“Good. God I have made one heck of a mess with my life haven’t I?”
“Oh I think you do better than most.”
She laughs “Is that supposed to be encouraging?”
“I thought so, yes.”
“I’m just having a hard time putting it behind me is all.”
Pointedly “You mean Troy?”
Looking to him. “Troy and Colin both, yes…”
“Now don’t tell me that you feel responsible for what happened to that nut…” she shoots him a disapproving glare, “I mean, Colin.”
“I killed him R.J. Yes. I am responsible for that.”
“It was self defense.”
“Yes, it was, but it never would have come to that point if I hadn’t been playing games with him, if I hadn’t wanted Lindsay to pay so badly for what she’d done.”
“You’re being to hard on yourself Nora.”
“Am I? I mean I used Colin’s growing attraction to me to try and coax him into giving up Lindsay.”
He shifts uncomfortably “All Colin really wanted in the end was for me to love him, and maybe I really could have if he had been honest with me.”
“Are you serious?”
to be continued...
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