rdmdog
Registered User
Posts: 1057
(3/1/06 8:10 pm)
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More Aero Funnies
A young and stupid pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. So, this one time he was approaching a field during the night time. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said:
"Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied:
"Guess where!"
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Ground Control: "123DG, bear to the left, disabled aircraft on the right."
Pilot: "123DG, Roger, I have the disabled aircraft in sight, but I don't see the bear yet."
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Air Traffic Control: "Piper N 4444D, traffic at your 2o'clock, 500 ft below you."
Piper N4444D: "Well, we see a light coming towards us..."
Air Traffic Control: "Look again N4444D there's probably a plane behind that light"
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Lady Radar Controller: "Can I turn you on at 7 miles?"
Airline Captain: "Madam, you can try."
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More from our "Don't get wise with us file":
A United Airlines 747 captain tries to make light banter with Sydney, Australia, Approach Control
Captain: "Good morning, Sydney, this is United XXX, we're 50 miles out and have your island in sight "
Approach: "Roger, United you're cleared to circle the island twice, then it's okay to land."
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What is the ideal cockpit crew?
A pilot and a dog. The pilot is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to bite the pilot in case he tries to touch anything.
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How many fighter pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. He holds the bulb, and the world revolves around him.
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What is the difference between a fighter pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a fighter pilot when it's drunk.
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One evening at happy hour at the Ft. Riley Officer's Club, a buddy of mine who was an Army pilot told me a hilarious story. He said they'd been sent to Kansas City International Airport to pick up some people. When they got near, they radioed the tower for instruction.
"Army xxx, flight of three, requesting landing instructions for the private terminal."
The tower radioed back that they were number three to land following two commercial flights.
A moment later the tower radioed again, voice rising in near panic, "Army xxx, we show you with ZERO groundspeed! Are you declaring an emergency?"
He calmly replied, "No, we're hovering over the outer marker waiting for clearance..... We're a helicopter; we can do that you know."
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