The Light Within You *Short Complete*

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Subject: The Light Within You *Short Complete*
Posted By: OKDeanna - ezOP
Posts: 323
Posted At: (8/23/03 6:44 am)
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THE LIGHT WITHIN YOU

Author: Deanna Lynn (OKDeanna)
Rating: PG
Email: ASJFan@cox.net

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No bullet can extinguish
A light that shines within
So even though you're gone
I know I will see you again

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A Complete Fanfic

Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald sat in the front of the church with his eyes cast downward. The funeral ended hours ago, but he'd been unable to leave with everyone else. He couldn't seem to make his feet move. He'd tried he really had, but somehow he never moved.

His mother and sister had tried to get him to leave with them, but he'd told them he needed to be alone for a little while. He figured he would have to get used to it now that Sheridan was gone from his life. Gone. He still couldn't believe she was gone. His head knew it was true, but his heart refused to believe it.

He leaned forward then buried his face in his hands. What was he going to do without her? He had so many plans for them. He had seen them getting married and having children. He had seen them growing old together and now... And now all those dreams were gone. Now she was gone.

He hadn't even gotten to tell her he loved her, he thought lowering his hands and staring at the statue in front of him. There was so much that had been left unsaid between them. So much left undone. And there was nothing he could do to change it.

"Why?" He asked staring at the statue in front of him. "Why was she taken from me? Why didn't I get the chance to say goodbye? Why didn't I get the chance to tell her I love her?"

A tear traveled down his cheek and he closed his eyes and let it fall. His heart was breaking and for the first time in his life he didn't care who knew it. The feelings coursing through him right now were just too strong to fight anymore. He was tired of trying.

"Sheridan." He whispered as he raised his head toward the ceiling. "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to leave me? I love you. Did you know that I loved you? I never got to tell you, but I hope you knew. Oh god I hope you knew."

"She knew." A voice from the back of the church answered. "She knew, Luis, and she loved you too."

He knew that voice, he thought reaching up to wipe his tears away, it belonged to Ethan Crane. But why would Ethan have come back here? Why would Ethan be talking to him now? They hated each other.

"She may not have said the words, but she felt them Luis."

He looked up into the solemn eyes of Sheridan's nephew and for the first time felt as if they understood each other. "How do you know that when I can't be sure it?"

"Because I know my aunt," Ethan said taking a seat beside him and keeping his eyes trained to the front. "and I had never seen her happier than she was when she was with you or when she talked about you. She used to get this light in her eyes, not just a light, but love's light. She loved you, Luis. She loved you with all of her heart."

He lowered his head then nodded. "I hope you're right, because I loved her. I only wish I'd been able to tell her."

"Me too." Ethan said his voice choking with emotion. "She would have loved to hear that almost as much as she would have loved saying it back to you."

Luis knew that he and Ethan were as different as night and day, but right now he felt as if Ethan was the only one who understood the lonely place he seemed to be trapped in. "I would have loved hearing that too."

"Have you been here since the funeral ended?" Ethan asked his eyes still on the front of the church.

"Yes." Luis replied turning to look at him. "I couldn't bring myself to leave. Once I do, I have to go home and I'm not ready to do that yet. I've lived with Sheridan for the last few months and going home again is only going to remind me of the reason I'm not still at the cottage with her."

"I understand." Ethan said finally turning to look at him. "It's the same reason I haven't gone back to the Crane Mansion yet. I've been driving around and I don't know something led me back here. When I saw your cruiser still in the parking lot, I almost drove off, but then I realized you love her just as much as I do."

"I do." Luis answered. "I love her with all of my heart."

Ethan nodded then gave a half smile. "You know she wouldn't like to see you in pain."

"You either, but right now that's inevitable." Luis raised a hand and ran it over his face. "I still can't believe she's gone. I just feel like I'm going to wake up and this will all just be some horrid nightmare. I can't imagine never seeing that smile of hers again. Or hear her laugh. Or yell at me for telling her what to do. I can't imagine my life without her and as crazy as it sounds, it doesn't feel as if she's dead... just gone."

"I wish this were only a nightmare." Ethan said leaning back against the pew and closing his eyes and the tears started to well in them. "I'd give everything I own if it would bring her back again."

"Me too." Luis said lowering his hand from his face and glancing at the cross that hung on the wall. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do to have her back again."

"But we both know there is nothing on this earth that can bring her back. She would want us to accept that."

"I know she would." Luis said suddenly getting to his feet and walking toward the cross. "But I'm having a hard time doing it. The moment I accept that she's gone is the moment I have to accept that we will never be together and I'm not ready to accept that yet. I can't accept that yet."

"Sheridan." He whispered falling to his knees in front of the cross. "I can feel you. How can I still feel so connected to you if you're dead? How can I still feel so close to you? I don't understand. Help me, god, help me understand."

Tears fell down his cheeks, but a light suddenly entered his heart and he got the message that was sent to him. She was gone, but she would always be the light within him.

A light from within burns bright and will not extinguish even in death.

THE END

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