|
OKDeanna's Passions Fan Fiction Forum > Hank and Beth Stories > The Story Of Us: Prologue - Chapter Four |
|
| << Prev Topic | |
|
Subject:
The Story Of Us: Prologue - Chapter Four Posted By: OKDeanna - ezOP Posts: 250 Posted At: (10/15/02 8:41 am) Reply |
|
Hank & Beth Author: Deanna Lynn (OKDeanna) Email: asjfan@cox.net PROLOGUE I don't know quite when it happened. One minute I was single - and loving every minute of it - and the next I was head over heels in love with my best friend. It's funny how much things change when you get older. Back in high school, the woman of my dreams was in love with someone else, my other best friend if you want to get technical, and now here she is about to become my wife. A smile makes its way across my face as I stare into her beautiful brown eyes, eyes filled with so much love and so much trust that I can hardly breathe. I have no idea what I did to deserve her love, but I thank god every day that I have it. I certainly would not be where I am today without it. My smile grows wider as she raises one slender hand and places it against my cheek, her thumb lightly caressing my cheekbone and igniting thousands of emotions inside me. At one time the emotions caused by her touch would have shocked me and completely overwhelmed us both, but not anymore. Now we know what we have between us and we embrace it. We embrace it with everything we have inside of us. I hear the preacher speaking, but I can't take my eyes off hers long enough to listen to the words. I try, but the love in her eyes is like a magnet, holding my eyes hostage, refusing to let them go. It doesn’t surprise me at all though. It's always been like that and I pray it always will be. She lowers her hand from my cheek as the preacher calls my name and that's when I realize its time for me to state my vows. "The road we took to get here wasn't always smooth, but the bumps and curves we had to endure is what led us to this moment and I am thankful for each and every one of them because of it. You are my life. Without you, I'm just another man, but with you I am better than I ever thought I could be. You make me who I am." "You give me strength when I don't have my own. You give me courage when I need to be brave. But most of all you give me love and it is that love, that gives me life. You make me whole." Tears blur my eyes and I have to pause to drag air into my lungs before continuing. "I love you, with all of my heart and all of my soul, and I plan to spend the rest of my life making sure you know just how much. You'll never have to doubt my love or my commitment, because it will remain as strong tomorrow as it is today." I smile at the tears I see pooling in her eyes then slowly reach up and wipe them away. Once they are gone, I turn to my best man and take the diamond ring he holds out to me. He winks and I smile. Today is the happiest day of my life and I'm glad that despite past differences he's here to share it with me. I turn back around and never taking my eyes off the beauty before me, I reach for her left hand and slowly ease the ring onto her finger. "With this ring, I pledge my love, my faith, and my devotion to making sure you are always as happy as you are right now." I watch her draw in a deep breath then find myself chuckling as she starts to lean in and kiss me only to have her matron of honor gently pull her back before her lips can actually connect with mine. I smile into her brown eyes as she straightens back up then somehow manage to swallow the lump in my throat as the preacher announces it is time for her to state her vows. I hear her take another deep breath then draw in one of my own as she begins to speak, the love I see in her eyes is crystal clear in her voice. "It took us awhile to get here and there were times when I was afraid we wouldn't make it, but then I'd look into your beautiful eyes and every fear I felt would suddenly fly away. Because I knew that no matter what happened, in the end, we would be together." "I have so much love in my heart that I think it could burst at any moment. You are such a deep part of me that even as I stand here, I'm not sure where I stop and where you begin. You've given me so much and if I live to be a hundred it won't be long enough to show you what you mean to me. I love you doesn't even begin to describe what I feel for you. It's only the tip, the rest is so much more." I take a deep breath as she holds out her hand and takes the ring her matron of honor is holding then stare into her eyes as she places it on my finger, the band signifying our love and commitment to one another. "With this ring, I pledge my love, my faith, and my devotion. I give you everything I have to give, all that I am, and all that I ever will be. I love you." I reach out and pull her close to my chest, not caring that the preacher is still speaking. In my arms I hold the woman of my dreams and as the preacher pronounces us man and wife, I become the luckiest man in the world. "You may now kiss the bride." The moment my lips touch hers, my mind travels back in time and I remember. I remember how it all began…. Chapter One Raising a hand to run it over his unshaven face, Hank Bennett let out a weary sigh. He'd been back from Washington less than ten hours and already the walls of the past were closing in on him. Hell, maybe he should've just accepted the job offer from the FBI. It would have given him a good legitimate excuse to leave Harmony, instead of one of the lame one's his brain kept coming up with. He sighed. He didn't know why he suddenly wanted to take off again, but he figured it had something to do with almost getting Sheridan killed. Sure, she was alive and yeah he was at least partially responsible for that, but he couldn't help remembering the fact that she'd been buried alive and that they almost didn't reach her in time. Damn, he thought rubbing the back of his neck as more thoughts of leaving ran through his brain, maybe it wasn't too late to call Hal back and tell him he changed his mind. Maybe there was still time. Maybe he hadn't found someone else yet. Hank reached into the pocket of his light weight spring jacket and pulled out his new cell phone, but instead of dialing the number he meant to he found himself punching in a set he'd known by heart since he was ten. The moment her light, airy voice picked up the phone, he smiled. "The Book Café. This is Beth speaking, how can I help you?" "Well, you could start by letting me take you out for lunch?" "Hank!" Beth squealed into the phone, causing him to erupt into laughter. "I thought you were still in Washington. When did you get back?" Smiling, he held the phone more firmly against his ear and let his eyes gaze out at the various boats spread out across the water before him. "Around midnight last night. So is the Book Café busy or can you spare some time to have lunch with me?" "Well, we are pretty swamped today, but it's not every day I get asked out for lunch so I guess I can spare some time." She laughed and he unconsciously widened his smile at the sound. "Where did you want to go?" "You up for a boat ride?" He asked his eyes scanning the area and smiling when they landed on the boat rental sign. "I thought we could take a boat and head over to the Lighthouse to eat lunch. I haven't been over there in years and it seems to be calling to me today." "Like a beacon in the night? Or in this case day." She laughed again. "Okay, give me about an hour and I'll meet you on the boat docks. Don't worry about getting the food. I'll bring it with me." He frowned at that. "Beth, I asked you to lunch. Shouldn't I be the one bringing the food?" "Next time." She replied, her smile clear in her words. "I gotta go. I've got a customer, but…I'll see you in an hour." "Okay." Hank said his own smile returning to his face. "See you in an hour." Static sounded in his ear and he shook his head as he lowered his cell phone and hit the off button. He hadn't known he was going to call her until he'd already begun punching in the numbers, but he couldn't say he wasn't glad he had. He'd spent most of his time back in Harmony dodging her phone calls for fear the men hounding him to get back into the drug ring would think they could use her against him, but now that it was over and he was free…he had a lot to make up for. At the very least, he owed her an explanation for why he'd chosen to pretty much abandon the friendship they'd started in elementary school. Beth untied the apron from around her waist then laid it on the counter and picked up the basket beside her. She flashed a smile to Chad thanking him for coming in and working when it was his day off then turned, barely remembering to grab her jacket off the coat rack before making her way out of the Book Café and into the cool but getting warmer spring air. She was glad that Hank had finally called her wanting to do something. It had been so long since they'd spent any time together. In fact, it had been months. He'd been back in Harmony over a year and she'd barely even seen him. She knew he had his reasons, but it still hurt that he'd shut her out. Then again why would he tell her what was going on with him? They hadn't exactly kept in contact while he was traveling the globe. In fact, in the ten years he was gone, she hadn't so much as received a postcard from him. She had no idea where he'd traveled to over the years and since she really hadn't gotten to spend that much time with him since he'd been home, she had no idea about the kind of man he was now. It was kind of strange, considering they'd once been pretty much inseparable. Well, they had until she and Luis had gotten together. From then on, up until Hank left town, it had been the three of them. The three musketeers, as her mother had often referred to them while growing up. She sucked in a deep breath as thoughts of her mother penetrated her mind and caused a sharp pain to hit her heart. It was still hard for her to think that her mother was gone from the world. She missed her so much. It had been four years since she'd lost her bout with cancer and not a day went by that Beth didn't think of her and wish for the impossible. Of course that didn't really surprise her any. Her mother always said she was the impossible dreamer. Tears sprang to her eyes and she quickly pushed them back. She didn't want to be sad today. She wanted to enjoy reconnecting with her friend. She barely knew Hank anymore. He didn't know her anymore either. But perhaps today was the day they would begin to rectify that. His offer of lunch was a good indication that he wanted to. Beth rounded the corner leading to the wharf and smiled when her eyes caught sight of Hank, getting onto a small sized sailboat. When he'd said he wanted to take a boat out, she hadn't thought he'd meant a sailboat. He'd never been one to go sailing. He always wanted to go fast, the faster the better. Maybe his time away had changed that about him. Maybe he finally saw the beauty in taking the time to stop and smell the roses. She shook her head then walked toward the boat. "Hey, stranger. Need a hand?" Hank straightened then lifted a hand to run it through his light brown hair. "Hey." He took the basket from her hand and sat it down inside the boat then reached out to help her. Once she was inside the boat, he enveloped her into a tight hug. "It's really good to see you, Beth." "It's good to see you too." She whispered returning his hug with a smile. "I wasn't sure if you were going to come back." As soon as the last statement left her mouth, Hank pulled back to look at her. His eyes were soft with understanding, but also held a small amount of regret. "I almost didn't, but then I thought about it and realized there was really no place else I wanted to go. I've seen all the places I wanted to see." "You have?" She asked arching a brow in skepticism. He nodded then reached down and grabbed the basket at their feet, moving it out of their way. "Yeah, I have. When I first came back to Harmony, I thought it was a temporary thing. I just wanted to make enough money so I could hit the road again. But then, I don't know, somewhere along the way leaving town again kind of lost it's appeal." He dropped the basket then straightened back up and shrugged. "I'll admit I entertained the thought of leaving again this morning, but after talking to you I realized leaving wasn't really what I wanted to do. I mean I can go anywhere in the world, but what I wanted to leave behind is just going to follow me. It did before. No matter where I went, it was always there. It probably always will be." Beth cocked her head to the side and studied him a second then nodded in understanding. "You're talking about your father, aren't you?" "Yeah I am." He turned to start getting the boat ready to sail and as she watched him, she couldn't help thinking about how much he seemed to have changed. Not only in the ten years since he'd been gone, but in the last month or so too. Whatever he'd gone through over the last few months, dealing with both the FBI and the drug cartel that tried to kill Sheridan, had changed him. She could see it in his eyes and she could tell, just by looking at him, that he was ready to face the demons that chased him away from Harmony all those years ago. The realization made her smile. It was about damn time. Chapter Two Picking up the picnic basket he'd sat on the beach a few moments before he helped Beth out of the boat, Hank smiled. The sail had been a lot of fun, more fun than he thought it would be. It had been years since he'd actually done it, having always preferred to go faster than a sailboat could go, but it had all come back to him as soon as he'd stepped onto the small boat. He supposed there were just some things you never forgot. "So," He replied, his smile automatically widening as he turned to look at the woman beside him. "You want to eat here on the beach or climb the rocks and eat in front of the Lighthouse like we used to?" "Um…." Beth glanced around at the beach then looked at the rocks up ahead of them before turning her attention back to him and arching a brow. "What do you think?" Hank laughed. He should have known. "Lighthouse it is." She smiled in return then walked ahead of them toward the rocks. "You still remember how to climb these things, right? I mean I know it's been awhile for you and all…" She let the sentence dangle and as she turned around to see his reaction, Hank sent her a smirk. "Baby, what makes you think I didn't climb while I was away? I mean I visited a lot of places. How do you know I didn't take up mountain climbing?" "Did you?" She asked skepticism written all over her face. "No," He replied with a shrug. "But I could have." "Uh huh." Beth responded with a nod as she turned her attention back to the rocks and began to climb upward. "You were never that fond of climbing, Hank. You always said it took too long to reach the top, remember?" Hank laughed, remembering the day he told her that. "A guy can change, you know?" "Have you? Changed I mean?" She stalled her climb and looked down at him. "It seems like you have, but at the same time you seem exactly the same." "I've changed, Beth. In some ways more than others." He turned his attention to look back at the water for a second then shook his head and turned back toward her, a smile plastered across his face. "I'm not the only one that's changed though. For instance, I sure as hell don't remember you having such killer legs back in high school." She blushed then shook her head and turned to finish climbing the rest of the way up. "You know what, Hank? I take it back. You haven't changed at all." He laughed as she cleared the top of the small rocky mound then hoisted the basket over his head toward her. "There are some things that just don't change, Beth. Haven't you figured that out by now?" Beth smiled as she leaned over the edge of the rocks and took the basket from Hank then chuckled as he began to climb up the rocks toward her, making faces at her the whole way up. "You are such a goofball, Hank Bennett." Hank smiled then winked at her. "I learned from the best." She narrowed her eyes at that. "Are you saying I'm a goofball?" "If the shoe fits…" He quipped quickly pulling himself up over the rocks and into a sitting position beside her. He smiled then reached out a hand and tugged on the end of her ponytail. "What's with the glare, Wallace? You know it's true. You are the ultimate goofball. Always have been. Reason you were the class clown." "I am not a goofball." She said pulling out of his reach and standing up, looking down at him with her hands on her hips. "And you were the one voted class clown, Hank Bennett, not me!" He smiled. "I know I was voted class clown, but that was only because you had it in your head that you couldn't be popular and goof off at the same time. If you hadn't hid that comic ability of yours, there would have been no contest, you would have been class clown hands down." He shrugged when her eyes grew narrower. "Oh give me a break with the death glares Wallace, you know I'm right. Just admit it." "I will do no such thing!" She replied, biting down on her lip to keep from smiling as she turned and began to walk toward the grass in front of the Lighthouse. An arm snaked around her waist before she even made it halfway and she squealed as Hank began to spin her around in circles, almost making her drop the picnic basket in her hand. "Hank!" "You going to admit it?" He asked slowly his speed, but not stopping the spin. "You going to admit you should have been named class clown?" "No!" She stated trying hard not to laugh as he increased the speed again. "Hank! You're going to make me drop our food." He merely laughed at her. "I'm not stopping until you admit it. It's your choice. Admit what we both know is true or…drop our food and make us both starve. What's it going to be?" She bit her lip again then let out a sigh of surrender. "Fine you win, but only because I'm starving." She could feel his smile, but he still didn't stop the spin. "I didn't hear you admit it yet." "You can really be a pain Hank Bennett!" She squealed again as he increased the speed again and then afraid he really would make her drop the basket she said what he wanted to hear. "You're right. I should have been voted the class clown." The spinning stopped immediately and as soon as her feet hit the ground she spun around, intending to glare at him, but ending up falling straight into his arms as a wave of dizziness hit her. She crashed into his chest and his arms immediately wrapped around her as the unexpected weight of her body made him take a couple of steps backward. She looked up at him surprised then sucked in a deep breath as he smiled at her. "I always knew one day you'd fall into my arms. Glad to know I was right." She swallowed a nervous breath as his arms tightening around her waist then searched his eyes, not understanding the emotion she was saw reflected in them. They were dark with intensity, but she wasn't able to read them. She'd never been able to read them not when they looked like this. The darker his eyes got the more mysterious they became. It was almost like… "Beth?" He asked his tone of voice a couple of notches lower than normal. "What's going on behind those beautiful brown eyes of yours?" "What's going on behind yours?" She challenged, her voice sounding breathless to her own ears. Hank smiled, a sexy smile full of…temptation, that's what it was, pure unadulterated temptation. She drew in another deep breath. "Are you sure you want to know what I'm thinking?" No, a soft voice whispered inside her head. How could she be sure of anything when his arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her tight against his chest, and his deep brown eyes were staring into hers almost as if challenging her to react to them? God, what was happening? This was Hank. "Beth?" He asked again this time his voice barely above a whisper. "Do you really want to know what I'm thinking?" "Yes." She whispered knowing it was true, but at the same time wondering if she was ready to hear it. "I want to know." He nodded and his smile grew wider, making her heart race even faster than it already was. "I'm thinking it's time we ate that delicious smelling food inside that basket." Her heart stopped beating. "The food?" "Yeah," He answered arching a brow at her. "What did you think I was going to say?" "I…" She shook her head then pulled back out of his embrace. "I didn't know." But you did, the same voice that had spoke to her earlier whispered, you did know and you're disappointed that he didn't say what you thought he was going to. She swallowed hard then turned and quickly walked toward the grass in front of the Lighthouse. "I hope you're hungry. I've got footlong sub sandwiches, chips, two sodas, and some delicious chocolate chip cookies in here." "Oh I'm hungry." He said his lips just an inch from the outer rim of her right ear. "In fact, I'm positively starving." Beth shivered as he moved away from her to spread the blanket she'd packed in the basket out onto the ground in front of them then drew in a deep breath and told herself the feelings coursing through her veins didn't mean a thing. She hadn't really wanted Hank Bennett to kiss her. That was crazy! Absurd even. It was…true, she thought freezing as he straightened back up and looked at her, it was completely true. She really had wanted Hank to kiss her and she really had been disappointed that he didn't. Oh god. Chapter Three Hank straightened back up and felt his breath catch in his throat when his eyes connected with the chocolate ones standing less than three feet away from him. They were staring at him as if they'd never seen him before, which was strange considering they'd known each other since grade school. He knew he and Beth hadn't exactly spent a lot of time together since he'd come back to Harmony last year, but still… Did their lack of time together make him a complete stranger to her? Because that's what she was looking at him like - like he was a stranger instead of one of the guys she'd grown up with. And was that really appreciation reflected in her eyes? A slight breeze floated through the air and caught the ends of her raven black hair, causing them to fly up around her face and kiss her cheekbones. Her small slender hands shot up a second later to catch the wayward strands and as she corralled them in, pressing them against the sides of her neck, Hank swallowedhard. Her brown eyes had yet to leave his and if she didn't look away soon, he was not going to be responsible for his actions. He opened his mouth to tell her that very thing, but almost as if she knew what he was going to say, she finally averted her gaze to stare at the ground as if it too was something she'd never seen before. He couldn't stop the smile that stole it's way upon his face. She may have looked away at the last possible second, but it hadn't been soon enough to hide the attraction he'd seen lurking behind those chocolate brown eyes of hers. Back in high school, he'd been more than just a little attracted to her. Hell, if truth were told, he was pretty sure he'd been in love with her at one point. But never in all the time they had known each other had he thought for one moment the attraction was mutual. She'd never given him any indication that she even felt the tiniest spark between them. Until now that is. Now she'd given him more than just an indication. She'd given him a glimpse behind the eyes he'd always thought held far too many mysteries to ever be fully discovered and damned if he knew what to do about it. He had no clue how he was supposed to respond to… You don't need to know how to respond, a voice warned cutting off his thoughts before they even had a chance to fully form. This is Beth remember? This is a woman you grew up with. A woman that's been your friend since birth practically. Not to mention she's your best friend's ex-girlfriend! Damn, he thought raising a hand to jam it through his light brown hair as he finally pulled his eyes away from the woman standing a few feet from him. If it were any other woman in the world, he wouldn't even hesitate to act on the attraction he'd see in her eyes. But it wasn't any other woman. It was Beth. And because of that he had to forget what he saw in her eyes. He had to forget that he'd - even for a moment - thought of acting on what he'd seen. He had to forget, because if he didn't he might really do something stupid - like jeopardize the very friendship he was trying to get back now. Hank shook his head then cleared his throat and kneeled down onto the blanket in front of him, automatically plastering a smile on his face as he looked back up at Beth. "So what did you say you brought us again?" A grateful smile broke out across her beautiful face and less than a half a second later, she closed the distance between them and sat down on the blanket across from him, quickly reaching for the basket beside him. "I brought two sub sandwiches, roast beef for you and ham and cheese for me, two bags of potato chips, two sodas, and some chocolate chip cookies I made this morning." She shrugged and held out his sandwich to him. "Have I told you lately that I love you?" He asked smiling as he took the sub she handed him. He ignored the surge of heat that came with the slight brushing of their fingers, as well as the shocked widening of her eyes, and instead concentrated on opening the wrapping surrounding his sub. "Do you know how long it's been since I had a roast beef sub?" "Um, ten years?" She supplied her voice sounding strange as she dug into the basket and pulled out the rest of its contents, her eyes not meeting his again as she handed him his chips and can of Sprite. His smile widened at the sight of the familiar green can. She'd remembered what he drank. He didn't know why, but the thought pleased him. "Well, not quite that long. More like a year I think." He dropped his bag of chips onto the red, white, and blue plaid blanket underneath them then sat his sub down in front of him and popped the top on his Sprite. "You remembered." "Remembered what?" She asked her brow furrowing in confusion as she finally looked at him again. He chuckled then took a sip of the can in his hand. "That I drink Sprite. You remembered." "Oh." She tilted her head to the side and the furrow in her brow deepened. "Don't you always order a Sprite when you come into The Book Café? Well, when you aren't ordering a Cappuccino, I mean?" This time it was his brow that furrowed. "Do I? Hell, I guess I do. It's been awhile though. I think the last couple of months I've only been in the Café in the mornings." She nodded then reached for her Coke and opened the tab. "Yeah, I guess you've been a little busy lately." If she resented the fact that he hadn't spent much time with her over the last few months, it didn't show in her tone or on her face. In fact, right now, she looked pretty contented, as if she didn't have a care in the world. He frowned. "I know I haven't been such a good friend lately and I'm sorry for that. I had a lot on my plate and I didn't want to get you involved in it." "It's okay." She said a sad smile suddenly forming on her lips. "I mean you were gone for ten years. Time apart always changes things. I understand why you didn't think you could talk to me about what was going on. It's not like we kept in touch while you were away or anything." The barest hint of accusation lit her tone and he sighed with regret. "I'm sorry for that too. When I left I always meant to write or call, but the more time that went by the easier it seemed to just let things stay the way they were. And then…" He broke off, unsure if he wanted to tell her anymore, but then she looked at him, her brown eyes sad and questioning, and he knew he had to tell her the awful truth. She deserved to hear it from him and since he already told Sam and Luis, he figured she was the next person he owed it to. It was past time he owned up to his misdeeds. "And then I got into trouble. A lot of trouble." He sat his can onto the ground then got up, his appetite suddenly leaving him as his mind became trapped in the past. "After Dad died the only thing I wanted was to get out of Harmony. The only reason I waited until graduation was because I needed the time to save money. If I hadn't I would have left months before. Hell, I knew I was going to leave Harmony even before Dad died. I think he knew it too. He was always on my case about getting better grades so I could get into college. Either that or he was on my case about straightening up and being more like Sam." Hank closed his eyes as his father's voice echoed in his mind. "How do you expect to become a cop when all you ever do is get yourself into trouble? You can't keep expecting Sam and Luis to bail you out, son. You are old enough now to know right from wrong. I just don't understand why you can't be more like -" "More like my brother?" Hank spat out bitterly. "There's a reason for that, Dad. I can't be more like Sam because I AM NOT SAM! I'm me! I'm Hank. It's about time you realized and accepted that. It's also time you realized I will never become a cop. That I don't WANT to be a cop." "Don't be ridiculous, Henry!" His father stated exasperation clear in his tone. "Law enforcement is in your blood. Your grandfather -" "Yeah, I know. 'My grandfather was a US Marshall.' Well, that's great, Dad. Good for him. Good for you and good for Sam. But not good for me. You can't force your life on me! I don't want it! I don't want to be like you! I don't want to end up some bitter old man that can't let his sons be themselves. I don't want -" Hank shook his head. He didn't want to remember the rest. He didn't want to remember the look in his father's eyes as he tore his heart out with his callous words. He didn't want to remember telling him, he hated him for trying to force his life down his throat. He didn't want to remember how he'd stormed out of the house and come back hours later to find his father lying on the Persian rug in the foyer, gasping for breath and clutching his chest. He didn't want to remember the terror of realizing his father was going to die. He didn't want to remember the accusations in Sam's eyes. He didn't want to remember the doctor saying his father had died of a heart attack. He didn't want to remember… But he did. It was the one thing he could never forget no matter how hard he tried. No matter how much he drank or how much drugs he'd run through his system, he could never forget. The memories still chased him and the guilt still laid with him, night after night. "The only thing I ever wanted back then was to see the world." Hank said his voice low and the guilt so high it was threatening to choke him. "I think it scared him because he knew I was going to do it. He knew I'd leave and he didn't want me to go. But instead of just telling me that, he tried to force his dreams onto me, which left me resenting him and…and when he died, my whole life changed. No one, but Sam knew about the argument Dad and I got into that day." He looked over at her and smiled ruefully. "I killed him as surely as if I'd taken a knife and stuck it in his heart, which essentially is exactly what I did." "Hank -" "No, it's true Beth. My anger killed him. My resentment killed him." He shook his head then turned and walked toward the cliff they had climbed not even fifteen minutes ago. "You know I left Harmony to try and outrun the ghosts of the past, but they followed me. They followed me everywhere. It didn't matter where I went or what I did, they were there, always just beneath the surface, more than willing to remind me who I was and what I'd done." His throat grew tight, but he didn't stop. He didn't think he could even if he wanted to. He'd yet to tell anyone about where he'd gone and what he'd done while he was there and now that he'd started down the trail of memories, he couldn't jump ship. It was time to own up to his past and telling Beth would help him do that. "At first I tried to drown the past with booze. It didn't work. Then one night when I was in this Tavern in Europe, trying yet again to drown my sorrows, some guy struck up a conversation with me and…and told me he had something a lot better than alcohol if I was looking to forget - he had cocaine. I thought he was nuts. Told him as much too. Told him I wasn't into drugs, but then I realized I was already working on killing myself so why not make it happen that much faster. I mean I'd killed my father. The guilt was killing me so what did it matter how I died? I was already dead anyway. At least in my mind I was." He drew in a deep breath then forced the rest of the story out, hating himself more with each word he spoke. "It only took a couple of times to realize drugs weren't for me. I didn't use them again. But…but when I realized how much money you could make from selling them to people who did use them…I met up with a guy shortly after that realization and he told me I could make a lot of money smuggling drugs into the states from Columbia. He and I took off and met up with a drug lord down there. The man took a liking to me right off. I guess he realized I was an easy mark. I mean, hell, I didn't give a damn what happened to me. I'd already killed my father, nothing I did afterwards would ever compare to that. Or so I thought." "The more drugs I smuggled, the deeper in the organization I got, until I was in it so deep the waves were crashing over my head and I was being sucked down in the undertow." He ran a hand over his face then turned to look at her. Her eyes were teary, but otherwise remained unreadable. "It wasn't until I was shot at on a drug run and the FBI put up a poster with my face on it that I realized I was in way too deep. I tried to get out, but the only way I could was to buy my out. And the only way I could afford to do that was to borrow the money. So I did. I borrowed money from a guy I'd met while traveling through Paris about a year or so before. He was just as unsavory as who I was trying to buy my way out from, but at that point I figured he was a safer bet than ending up in prison. I took the money he offered and bought my way out of the drug trade." He should have known it wouldn't be as easy as that though. If he'd been in his right from of mind he probably would have. "What was supposed to be so easy turned out to be a lot more complicated than I thought. I ended up trading one drug lord for another. Only this time I wasn't being paid to sell drugs, I was being paid to tell other people how to smuggle them without getting caught. When I realized just how large of an operation they had, larger than the one they'd helped buy my way out of, I decided I'd work for them just long enough to pay off my debt and then I was gone. I helped out with a few jobs, put a big dent in the money I owed, but then I realized the longer I stayed the more likely it was they would never let me leave so I took off. I figured if I could raise enough money I could pay off the rest of my debt and I'd be free. I mean I only owed them a hundred and fifty thousand at that point." "I should have known they wouldn't just let me walk away though. The people in that business don't just walk away. They die." He shook his head then gave a bitter laugh. "I wasn't even in Harmony two weeks before they started calling me on my cellphone. I'd just bought a new one and they'd managed to get the number and call me up. I think even then they planned on using me against Sheridan. I had no idea who she was when we met up here in Harmony, but once she mentioned her fiancé's name…The man that loaned me the money was Jean Luc, Beth, her ex-fiancé." He looked at her then and the surprise on his face mirrored the surprise he had once felt. "Sheridan doesn't know I knew Jean Luc. He had never mentioned her to me and I didn't know she was involved until she mentioned his name. That was part of the reason I was so interested in dating her when I first got back. I thought maybe she knew who I was and I wanted to find out before she let it slip to Luis or Sam that I'd done business with her fiancé. But she didn't know and I never said." He closed his eyes as more regret washed over him. "I didn't realize she was in danger. I mean she said she left when Jean Luc cheated on her, but I didn't know Jean Luc had been murdered. I didn't keep in contact with him and the men calling me were men that had worked for him. But then Les, a man that had worked for Jean Luc here in the states, started calling me and said they wanted me to kill Sheridan. That it would clear my debt to them." Disgust welled in his throat and his eyes popped back open to look at the silent woman standing a few feet away. "I may have killed my father, but it wasn't intentional. I told them I wouldn't kill Sheridan and they made it so I didn't have a choice. They threatened Kay and Jessica." "Oh my god!" Beth whispered automatically taking a step closer and reaching out a hand. She dropped it when he shook his head. "Don't." He replied, begging her with his eyes to let him finish. "I need to tell you the rest." She nodded then wrapped her arms around her midriff. That one action combined with the tears in her eyes was enough to cause his heart to hurt. He had thought he couldn't get more disgusted at himself than he already was, but telling her the story and seeing the disappointment in her eyes was almost more than he could take. But he continued with the story. He'd come this far so he may as well go all the way with it. "Les realized I wouldn't kill Sheridan so he made me a deal to set her up so he could kill her. That night I was shot on the wharf was a setup. I had already contacted Agent Freeman, because I knew they weren't going to stop until Sheridan was dead and knowing how much Luis loved her I couldn't let that happen." He gave her a sad smile, knowing that fact had to hurt her, but rushed on before he let himself think about it too much. "You see when Les made me the deal about him killing Sheridan, I realized how serious they were and I made a deal with Freeman. If he'd wipe out my past, wipe my record clean, I would help him catch Roger and Pierre. I was so damn selfish. I made a deal to clear my name and I used Sheridan's life being in danger to do it. How disgusting is that?" "You saved her life, Hank. Regardless of what it did for your own, you saved her life." Hank arched a brow. "I also buried her alive and almost killed her myself. Not to mention I almost got Hal, Eve, my brother, Luis, Ethan, TC, and who knows how many others killed. If I'd come clean with Sam in the beginning I wouldn't have been in a position to be blackmailed into murder. I wouldn't have had to risk so many lives in an effort to save my own damn neck." "No, but Sheridan might really be dead if you had." Beth shook her head then reached out a hand and grabbed his own. "Hank, you saved her life. The reasons may have been a bit selfish at one point, but even if you hadn't had your past hanging over your head, you would have tried to help save Sheridan's life. That's just the type of man you are. I don't care how awful you were in the past. You are still a good man, Hank Bennett." "Think my dad would agree with you on that?" Hank asked self-recrimination lacing his voice. He shook his head. "He's probably rolling over in his grave at all the things I've done." "I doubt that." She replied, taking another step closer, her eyes locked onto his. "I think your dad would be proud of you. You made it right, Hank. You saved Sheridan's life and you helped catch drug dealers the FBI had been after for years. Not only that but you owned up to the past too. You quit running and faced the demons hounding you. He would be proud, Hank, I promise you he would be proud." Hank looked away, his eyes closing as he fought the dull ache pounding throughout his chest. "I guess we'll never know for sure. After all, he's not here to tell me and we both know who is to blame for that, don't we?" Beth frowned unsure how to answer him. She knew he blamed himself for his father's death and that he probably always would, but at the same time she searched her brain for something to say that would hopefully release him from the burden of the past. "Hank -" "Don't make excuses for me, Beth. Don't try and make me feel better about what I've done. You can't. No one can. It's impossible." He pulled his hand free of hers then took a step back and ran it through his light brown hair. "I was scum and there's not a damn thing anyone can say that will erase that." She closed her eyes. "You made a mistake, Hank. You were so wrapped up in guilt over your father's death that you made a big mistake, but its in the past now. You aren't the same man that you were then Hank." He nodded, but she wasn't at all sure he believed her. "I'm sorry I ruined lunch. I thought this would just be a fun afternoon. I really hadn't planned on getting into the past like that." "Don't apologize!" She admonished softly as she captured her eyes with his. "I'm glad you told me. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me all that stuff. But Hank what you did in the past, I hope you know that I would never judge you. You did what you did because you were grieving and blamed yourself for your father's death. If the guilt hadn't been wrapped so tight around you, you never would have taken the path you chose. I know that and I hope you know that too." Surprise lit his eyes, but so did gratefulness. "You are one of a kind, Beth Wallace, did anyone ever tell you that?" She smiled then shook her head. "Maybe, but if they did I don't remember it." She met his eyes again then gave him a pointed look. "I meant what I said. You are a good man, Hank. I don't care how much you try to tell yourself you aren't, the fact of the matter is, you're one of the best men I know." He looked away then and she sighed. Why was it so hard for him to see that the past was just that - the past? Why couldn't he see that who he was now was not who he'd been then? Why couldn't he see…why couldn't he see what she saw? A man that had made a mistake, but had the guts to admit it, and had bettered himself because of it? "Hank -" "Do you mind if we head back?" Hank said interrupting her as he turned to walk toward the blanket. "I kind of lost my appetite and…and I'm sure you have to get back to the Book Café anyway." Beth could have told him she called in Chad to work so she could have the rest of the afternoon off, but she could tell just by looking at him that he was more than ready to go. She sighed. She knew he was upset about what he'd told her, and she could have told him there was no reason to be, but she didn't think it would do any good at the moment. He obviously wouldn't believe her and the last thing she wanted to do was force him to talk about a subject he'd obviously rather close. Besides she could really use some time to herself too. She still couldn't seem to get that almost kiss or whatever that moment had been between them earlier out of her head and it was really starting to bother her. She'd never thought of Hank as more than a friend before yet in those few seconds when she'd thought he would kiss her, the last thing on her mind was the friendship they'd started back in grade school. No, the only thing on her mind at that point was imagining how his lips would feel against her own and damned if she could figure out the reason why. But hopefully, after some time alone, she would figure it out. After all, there was just no way she could still be attracted to Hank. That was just too insane to even think about. Wasn't it? Of course it is, a voice somewhere in the back of her mind whispered, you got over your crush on Hank Bennett back in junior high. There's no way you could still be attracted to him. Not after all this time. It's just too crazy to even think about. But as she watched Hank pack their uneaten food back into the picnic basket, Beth had to wonder if it was really all that crazy. She had to wonder if deep down those feelings she thought she'd gotten rid of years ago didn't still linger. If maybe instead of ridding herself of them, she'd only buried them, and they'd been waiting all these years for the right moment to resurface. Beth drew in a deep breath as Hank straightened back up, his deep brown eyes immediately locking onto hers. "You ready to go?" She nodded not trusting her voice enough to speak then followed him to the edge of the cliff they'd climbed up not even thirty minutes ago, all the while wondering if the cliff they were fixing to climb down mirrored the one she felt herself about to jump off of. Something told her it did. Something told her things between Hank and herself had changed far more than she thought they had. The only question was how much? Chapter Four "Come on, Beth." Miranda Simmons whined. "I need someone to go out with me tonight. Mark had to go out of town and if I go to the pool hall by myself you know it will cause the tongues in this town to wag. Not that I care about that, mind you, but with Mark trying to get that seat on the city council, I don't want to take any chances. Besides I need someone to play pool with and you're the only woman I know that actually plays the game." Beth laughed then shook her head. "Randa, I already told you that I -" "That you didn't feel like going out." She stated in a somewhat mocking voice. "We don't have to stay that long, Beth. I just need to get out of the house for a while. It's too quiet with both the kids staying at a friends and Mark gone for the night." Beth knew Miranda hated being home alone and normally she wouldn't even hesitate to accommodate her desire to go hang out at the pool hall, but she wasn't really in the mood to go out tonight. She still hadn't been able to get that near kiss - or whatever the hell it had been - with Hank out of her mind and going out tonight wasn't going to help her any. It would probably make it worse. She'd been to the pool hall enough times to know that mostly couples went there, people she'd gone to high school with that were now married. She wasn't in the mood for more whispered comments about how Luis had moved on with his life and how she was still stuck in limbo waiting for him. It wasn't true. Well, not anymore anyway. But because she wasn't seeing anyone right now, they sure seemed to think it was. Oh no one ever said anything to her face about it, but she heard the comments when they thought she was too far away to hear or either wasn't listening. They were all the same too. Poor Beth, she still hasn't gotten over Luis. I know it's so sad that he's found love again and she hasn't. Can you believe she still has it in her head that he'll dump Sheridan CRANE and come back to her? Please, it is so over for them. I really don't know why they got together in the first place. They were never right for each other. Everyone called them THE COUPLE of Harmony High, but the only thing I ever saw was two friends playing at being in love. Beth shook her head to clear it of one of the many conversations she'd heard about her over the last two months then let out a loud sigh. "Randa, I would love to go with you, but -" "Great!" Miranda said effectively ignoring the but she'd placed in the sentence. "Go get ready and I'll pick you up in thirty!" "Miran -" Beth frowned as an audible click sounded then slowly pulled the phone away from her ear and hit the off button. Wasn't it just like Miranda to only hear what she wanted to hear? She loved the woman dearly, had since they first met almost fifteen years ago, but sometimes she couldn't help but want to strangle her. With a loud sigh, Beth dropped the cordless onto the cushion beside her then slowly got to her feet and headed toward the back of her apartment. Miranda said an hour, but if she knew her as well as she thought she did - and she had no doubt that she did - it would be closer to an hour before she actually showed up, which would give her plenty of time to shower and get ready. Then again, she thought reaching up to pull the black hair clippie out of her hair, she wasn't sure why she was going to go to the trouble of fixing herself up. It wasn't like she was trying to impress anyone. The same old people from high school would be there. Just like they were every Friday and Saturday night. She sighed again. She thought life would get more interesting after high school, but it only turned out to get more boring as the years passed. Would it always be that way? Would anything fun and exciting ever happen to her? Or was her life forever doomed to the same boring routine she'd practiced for far too many years to count? She walked into her bathroom and turned on the sprayer then stripped down as she waited for the water to heat. Maybe she'd meet the man of her dreams tonight. It was possible she supposed. Maybe she'd walk into the pool hall and there he'd be standing right in front of her, looking at her as if she were the only woman in the room. Yeah right, she thought, and pigs really do fly. Hank sat his mug of beer back onto the table he sat at then slowly let his eyes scan the room. He'd only been at the pool hall a handful of times since he'd come home, but then he'd only been catching up with old friends. Tonight he just wanted to forget. He knew deep down it wasn't very smart to think alcohol would help him with that since he'd found out a long time ago it didn't, but it sure as hell beat sitting in his room back at the B & B remembering the afternoon conversation he'd had with Beth. Actually, it wasn't really a conversation so much as it was a confession - his confession. He closed his eyes as his mind started to playback the scene then quickly shook his head and forced the thoughts back out. He didn't want to go there again. It was bad enough he'd been there all afternoon. It had been almost nine hours since he'd told Beth the truth about his past yet it felt as if it had just happened mere seconds ago. That knawing feeling was in his gut again, the one that said he shouldn't have told her all the things he told her. He knew he'd told Sam and Luis exactly the same thing he'd told Beth today yet it seemed as if he'd been more honest with Beth than he had been with either of them. He felt raw inside, as if he'd opened up something that he couldn't see. She'd told him she thought he was a good man, but Hank didn't know how she could say that. Not after everything he'd told her today. He'd left out some parts, the parts about how many times he'd drank himself into a stupor and couldn't remember what he'd done the night before. Hell, the only way he knew he'd even done the drugs he'd told her about is because he found the evidence of it the next day. How stupid could he have been back then? He knew that Beth was right and his actions had been born out of guilt, but it certainly didn't excuse what he'd done. The guilt was justified. The actions would never be. Of that he was certain. He opened his eyes and downed the rest of his beer then motioned for Jack to refill it for him. He didn't plan on drinking until he passed out, but drinking until he at least forgot what he'd told Beth today wasn't out of the question. Of course, he'd always remember it tomorrow, but maybe by tomorrow it wouldn't matter as much as it did tonight. Deep down he knew it would, but right now the hope that it wouldn't was enough to keep him from completely losing it tonight. He had thought the worst thing he could do was look into his brother and best buddy's eyes and tell them everything he'd done after leaving Harmony all those years ago, but he'd been wrong. The worst thing was looking into Beth Wallace's innocent brown eyes and telling her the horror of a life he'd chosen to enter into. She told him she wouldn't judge him, but how could she not? How could she not look at him and remember everything he'd told her he'd done? How could she not look at him and see the past he knew he'd never fully be rid of? How could she not see a man that killed his own father and sold drugs in fifty states and he didn't know how many foreign countries? He damn sure couldn't do it so how could she know that she wouldn't? Hank grabbed the fresh mug of beer Jack sat down in front of him and downed half of it before frowning at Jack's raised brows and turning around on his barstool hoping his friend would get the picture and realize that the last thing he wanted to hear tonight was a lecture on drinking. He had too many lectures going on inside his head as it was. When he'd called Beth this morning he hadn't planned on telling her what he'd done. He'd only planned on them having lunch and catching up like old friends do. He knew he'd have to tell her everything eventually, but he thought he could ease himself into it. He really had not expected it to all come spilling out the way it did. And why did it do that anyway? He'd had to force himself to tell Sam and Luis what he'd done yet with Beth it had come sprouting out before he even realized it was happening. He shook his head then jammed his free hand through his hair and let his eyes slowly travel around the faces in the room. He knew most of the people in the pool hall tonight, but hadn't spoken to any of them other than a quick hello to some old teammates when he first walked in. Normally he would have stopped to chat it up, but he wasn't really in the mood to socialize tonight. Talk was bound to go into what the story the papers had picked up about how he'd helped the FBI save Sheridan's life by faking her death. If they only knew… Swallowing another drink of his beer, Hank slowly began to turn back around. He froze, however, when a pale slender hand with fire engine red fingernails landed on the forearm. "Aren't you going to say hello, Hank?" He muttered a curse underneath his breath then looked up and forced a smile onto his face as he met a pair of familiar green eyes. "Hey, Allison. Long time no see." "Yeah, I'd say ten years is a long time." She smiled then lowered herself onto the empty barstool next to him. "I heard you were back in town. I didn't see you my last visit home, but I suppose that was because you were helping Luis guard his new woman." "Sheridan." He absently supplied, his eyes roaming around the room trying to come up with a believable enough excuse to walk away. It wasn't that he really minded talking to Allison again, it was just…well, a little bit uncomfortable. Their breakup hadn't exactly been pleasant and he had no clue what to say to her because of it. What were the rules when dealing with an ex-girlfriend that you dumped because she was getting too serious and the only thing on your mind was getting - His thoughts died off as Allison leaned in closer, the musky scent of her perfume floating to his nostrils while she also gave him a birds eye view at the cleavage nestled underneath her navy blue blouse. And he certainly didn't miss the fact that her red fingernails were riding dangerously high on his thigh. "What do you say to a dance for old times sake? If I remember correctly you were a damn good dancer back in high school." Before he could answer her one way or another she shot off the barstool and plucked the mug of beer from his hand, automatically sitting it on the bar behind him as she clasped her other hand around his and pulled him to his feet. He frowned and started to pull his hand free, but stopped when she pressed her body closer to his. "You aren't going to turn me down, are you? I mean there's no reason why two old friends can't share a dance together is there?" "Allison," Hank replied shaking his head as a small smirk played across his lips. "You know as well as I do that we passed that friend marker rather quickly in our relationship. Then again I'm not sure we were ever really there to being with." "We did seem to jump right into the fire, didn't we?" She shifted a little closer the seductively ran her tongue across her lips. "What do you say to finding out if we still know how to start the blaze?" He opened his mouth to answer her, but before he could get the words passed his lips hers covered them. He felt her fingers grip the material of his shirt, pulling him even closer, and as one of her hands moved to the back of his head, he wondered if maybe she wasn't the distraction he'd been looking for when he'd chosen to go out tonight. But then another woman's face flashed in his mind and he knew she wasn't. It didn't stop him from trying though and as he deepened the kiss, losing himself in a fantasy he hadn't let seep into reality earlier, he found the distraction he wanted. Only problem was it wasn't by kissing the woman in his arms. To Be Continued... Author of over 40 fan fiction stories, some of which include:
|
|
|
|
|
|
<< Prev Topic |
|
Replies
| The Story Of Us: Prologue - Chapter Four | OKDeanna | 10/15/02 8:41 am |
| Chapter Five - Seven *Final Chapters* | OKDeanna | 10/15/02 8:43 am |
 Email This To a Friend Topic Commands Click to receive email notification of replies  Click to stop receiving email notification of replies |
|
- OKDeanna's Passions Fan Fiction Forum - Hank and Beth Stories - Deanna's Fan Fiction Stories -
Powered By ezboard® Ver. 7.32
Copyright ©1999-2007 ezboard, Inc.