Thought on relationships

You're right, of course, about almost everything.

Quotes will be used only to provide a frame of reference, don't think I'm trying to debate here

First of all, about the life span thing, I remember reading that it was the average for your standard Egyptian physical laborer, which as I recall made up the majority of that people. The nobility and royalty, of course, had a much longer life span. And no, I'm not sure on that figure, knowing me it's probably something I read when I was six and I've taken it completely out of context over the years. That stuff happens a lot with me :rolleyes

Anyway, it was an example that I probably shouldn't have used, the point was that our bodies are mature far before we are emotionally equipped to handle them.
I recall one author describing it as giving a family of 6 people a brand new house, then telling them that they couldn't use the running water for eight years.

"keep in mind that cultures in which young people are allowed to be married and start having children at earlier ages also invariably (to the best of my knowledge) do a much better job about teaching those children about life than does our culture."

And I agree, the overwhelming majority of teenagers in our culture should certainly not be entrusted with a family - including myself. The fact remains that physically we are capable of doing so, and that our natural desire is to want to do so.

"Now then, something to think about: there's no gauruntee that you will ever get married. It seems to me that that hasn't quite sunk in yet (again, I don't mean to be superior, just making an observation).

No offense taken, though I count that thought among the most sobering realizations that I've ever had (about two summers ago, I think). The fact that it might not happen doesn't change my hopes in any way.

"Now, the last point I want to hit on is essentially that having a wife, and caring for her, is something you don't strike me as being prepaired for. Consider... what is the basis of your desire for marriage? Selfishness, as I see it. It's not that you've met a woman you want to make happy, it's that you want to meet a woman who will make you happy. Sure, the girls you mention are immature, but are you that much more mature? Are you really ready for that which you desire?

Of course not! I'm 17, for crying out loud!

I know good and well that I'm not that mature. It seems that the few girls that I count among those at or above my maturity level are too good for me - so instead of searching for the "right" one, I've decided to focus on improving myself and becoming the right one for my future wife, should God choose to give me one.

Also, marriage should come out of love - not the other way around. I'm in no rush to get married, it's the concept of having that special relationship, and the prerequisite maturity and selflessness that go with it, on both our parts, that really attract me. I can't feel that kind of selfless yet romantic love for someone I've never met; it's no wonder that my ambition seems selfish. It can't be anything else without the other side of the relationship. A lone person cannot feel selfless love for someone else: there is no one else.

btw, I really want to defend my disjointed and fuzzy thoughts right now by telling you that for some reason I only come to this board when I'm worn out and really should be in bed. But the insights you guys share with me here really makes it all worthwhile.

Brent, thanks for putting me back in my place on the pride/maturity issue - it's all ground I've covered before a few times, but I keep working my way around the truth to become my old pompous and vain self.

Oh yes and also:
For analogy, I could rave on and on about relativity to a bunch of older people who never went to college and get them to think that I am some super-bright genius that knows a ton about physics, but I'm still an idiot on the matter.

You sound like me! :eek

Definately something I'd do, and then feel like a fool later.

I'm perfectly aware of my unjustified pride, and my overly pretensious and dramatic way of writing this stuff. Forgive me, and know that I really am trying to get over it.

Thanks again,
and praise the holy Lord above!
- - Unfallen Angel

EDIT:
"Still, I gave some things to consider, if you haven't already."
Thanks for that shred of respect, it means a lot to me.

Edited by: Unfallen Angel at: 12/11/02 1:28:35 am

Author	Comment
SirNukes Cow Master Posts: 1987 (11/6/02 12:00 am) Reply	Thought on relationships Yesterday, this thought struck me: what if our relationships with each other are flawed because we weren't built for them? Quick background - I have never had any serious relationship in my life, nor have I ever had a friend I could wholly confide in. The closest I come is you guys, but in all honesty, a forum on the internet limits just how close you can grow to someone. Now then, to explain further... What led me to the thought was my pondering on how uncomfortable I am really speaking to people seriously... as well as observations on the same thing in other people. Upon further thought, I find that I have never had a good relationship with anyone, and even the best relationships I have seen have had drastic flaws (they are good compaired to anything on Earth, but still could be much better). It strikes me that interhuman relationships are perhaps missing something. And I considered that we were made for the primary purpose of developing a relationship with our creator, God. In fact, the first one of us was made solo, with no one else of his kind. I wonder if our design only truly permits us to interract fully with God, and not anything nor anyone else. And that the relationships we hold with each other we hold because we are each made in the image of God, and in our sinful world without God that is the closest we can get to what we were created for (outside of Christianity, but even that is somewhat limited by our existence in a sinful world). To reword, our relationships with each other are as good as they are because we all were made in God's image (I trust you all know the nuances of that), and are as flawed as they are because none of us is God. Perhaps we are all meant to connect to God, not one another. There are contraty arguments, I know, such as Adam's search for a partner and the whole husband/wife deal in general, and that problems with relationships can be attributed to sin... however, it just strikes me as making a lot of sense that we aren't designed for each other. Any thoughts? I don't care to proofread, so I hope you put up with my errors. <a href="http://www.christiangamer.org"><img src="http://www.christiangamer.org/images/sirnukes.jpg"></a>
RshScks Sergeant Major Posts: 408 (11/6/02 1:34 am) Reply	I think I think are purpose is to interact with others, and become closer to God through the fellowship. There would be no need for Jesus if are existence was to only interact with God. I think a lot of getting to know people is compromise and learning when to swallow your pride. Of course this is only my opinion. Brent you will meet the right person someday, and will make some good friends. I did not get my first serious girlfriend until I was 22, and it most likely is because I was not ready for a relationship before that, and God knew that. So I think are purpose on this earth is to interact with others, and have God as are focus.
Marys27 Posts: 1198 (11/6/02 5:45 am) Reply	Re: I think Ok, first of all its 5:30am, I've been up for 2 hours and I'm sick. Therefore, I can not be legally bound by the nonsense I post here. Brent, if God didn't want us to have relationships with others, then the Bible would be so full of inadequacies. He wants us to spread the word, he wants us to love one another, he tells us in His word how to deal with people. I think what you are seeing is a difference in your personality compared to others. It isn't a bad difference, but a difference all the same. Some people have no problems whatsoever going up to someone they dont know and talking to them like they've known them forever, (my mother, for example). I'd rather have dental surgery than do that. But, once I get to know someone, its hard to get me to stop talking. Just ask about anyone I game with, Im sure I annoy the snot outta them. Another thing to consider is the need for interaction with others. Some may not feel drawn to confide in others, or even develop relationships with others. A few years back I ended all my personal "friendships". I put that in parenthesis because these friends seemed to only enjoy my company when I was doing something for them. They hurt me a lot by doing that, and they probably have no idea they were being so selfish. I understand adult relationships are different, when all parties involved have children and spouses, you can't necessarily do the same things you did prior to having families. Anyways, I've really been hurting lately, and I need those friendships I lost. I'm trying really hard to build the new relationships on something other than personal service to one another. But, probably due to my own faults, I still wonder about the motives of people who want to be my friend.
Taemir Arketon Private First Class Posts: 20 (11/6/02 11:28 am) Reply	Re: I think Excuse me if I get a little flaky, but I am reminded of John 15: 13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. For some strange reason my mind turned to Mark Bowden's book "Black Hawk Down" (the movie is excellent, but the book is even better). There is a section where a soldier gets shot in the knee amidst the explosions, shooting and watching his friends going down one-by-one he concluded that "This is it for me. And then, in that moment of of maximum terror, he felt it all abruptly, inexplicably fall away." He had stopped caring about his own life and all that mattered "were his buddies, his brothers, that they not get hurt, that they not get killed." (btw, he survived) Now I don't want to give the impression that we should jump into a war just so we find that special comradeship, but I wanted to illustrate that it seems that real connections with others comes about through a shared tribulation. I think the problem lies in the the comfort of modernity and the anonymity of the internet among other things. When eveything is hunky-dory, people are a little more untethered to each other. But when there is persecution and tribulation, when it looks like death is certain, then Matthew 10:39 really jumps out: "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." Power and that filial connection with others comes about when we surrender our white-knuckled grip on our own lives. Paul talks about this as well: "That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12: 10) I guess the question is whether that connection with others can be made outside of traumatic experiences.
Kaze9999 friend Posts: 940 (11/6/02 6:44 pm) Reply	Re: I think I do think that we are created for a relationship with God which fulfills us in ways that no human relationship can. However I believe that God uses our relationships with each other as intensely powerful tools in our development to be able to have deeper relationship with Him. Eric --------------Just a signature------------------------ Genesis {33:19} He said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of Yahweh before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy." Romans {9:20} But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed ask him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?" {9:21} Or hasn't the potter a right over the clay, from the same lump to make one part a vessel for honor, and another for dishonor? Steven Brust {Phoenix} A god is someone who isn't bound by natural laws, and who can morally commit an action which would be immoral for someone who wasn't a god.
SirNukes Cow Master Posts: 1989 (11/6/02 11:15 pm) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships To clarrify, I never once meant that we are not supposed to get to know each other. Nor did I mean to complain of my current situation. I probably should have been clearer... getting my first name used twice when I meant to approach things from an intellectual standpoint sorta suggests that. Now then, Kaze did the best job of agreeing with me in singling God out. That's essentially what my thought was doing - singling God out as special, and saying that men will never replace him. Ya, I know what you're thinking (if you happen to be me), "what an idiot! Everyone knows that!" Well, I'm not perfect, and I tend to forget the obvious. My insight is nothing more than conscientiously (sheesh.. that was hard to spell) recognizing intuitive knowledge (aren't all insights like that?). As far as personal connections, I'm not sure facing death with someone is the only way to grow seriously close to them. The thing is that a truly close relationship has a great deal of loyalty and trust, and a war will almost force those things on the soldiers. Loyalty, in being joined against a single enemy. Trust, in knowing the other person will fight alongside you to the end. Having one of the most serious moments of one life shared with the other person doesn't hurt the relationship, either. Call me overly optimistic, but I believe those things can exist outside of extreme situations (well, maybe not the sharing of an extreme situation...). The thing is, only a small handful of people in the world are actively willing to develop trust and loyalty, and I suspect they rarely meet. Many others, such as myself, would love to trust and have loyalty to someone else, but wait around for another person to make the first move (ironically, a distrusting act). With no one ever making the first move, nothing is accomplished. But still, I am optimistic. Hmm... to be honest, I am very, very tempted to go chew out that Catholic in the other thread. The doctrine of salvation by works just really, really gets on my nerves (unless I am mistaken on it's accuracy, it is reponsible for having mislead billions of people). Oh well... I'll save that for tomorrow. <a href="http://www.christiangamer.org"><img src="http://www.christiangamer.org/images/sirnukes.jpg"></a>
Kaze9999 friend Posts: 944 (11/7/02 11:58 am) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships Yeah, relationships are tough. I believe that God uses them to teach us about Him, ourselves, His love, and our love. Generally tough lessons, and always more to learn from each new type of relationship (parents, siblings, friends, opposite sex, spouse, children, boss, co-worker, etc). I tend to get mad at the whole Protestant/Catholic thing too. The basic concepts of ultimate Earthly authority resting with the RCC structure rather then in scripture is right off a big problem for me. I even get very irritated with (imo) overly dogmatic protestants who seem to think that God gave us the scriptures so that really smart people could figure them out and tell everyone else what to think instead of for the purpose of leading us to know God personally! I love my relationship with God, and of course I love God Himself, and I get really mad at people who want me to give it up for some Earthly idol and the 'assurance' of being 'right'. In my experience, you can have a real relationship with someone, or you can be 'right' all the time, but you can't have both. Eric --------------Just a signature------------------------ Genesis {33:19} He said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of Yahweh before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy." Romans {9:20} But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed ask him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?" {9:21} Or hasn't the potter a right over the clay, from the same lump to make one part a vessel for honor, and another for dishonor? Steven Brust {Phoenix} A god is someone who isn't bound by natural laws, and who can morally commit an action which would be immoral for someone who wasn't a god. Edited by: Kaze9999 at: 11/7/02 11:59:18 am
Unfallen Angel Lance Corporal Posts: 96 (12/9/02 1:11 am) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships As a teenager, albeit one with what has been called an "overabundance of worldly experience," and often blows away his church elders with spiritually mature and profound insights towards God and the Church, I have intense emotional longings for a partner of the opposite sex. There is lust, there is the pressure that society puts on me to have a partner, and many other things, but I think that residing deep within myself is a holy and sincere need for true female companionship, whether it be sexual or not. The lust and anxiety mentioned above are just by-products of this need that I'm sure God planted within me, and probably within each of us (Though females of course would require males - sorry, but I've been called on that technicality before >sigh<). A large part of it is hormones of course, but we shouldn't forget that God designed our bodies to produce them, and even to be sexually active at a relatively young age. Which leads into another question - in the early days of civilization, after the flood, the average life span was about 30 years, right? So the average person would be middle aged at 15 years, and probably raising a family. Our bodies haven't changed with technology and health care, though, at least not in that aspect. Back in those days, a 12 year old might very well have been a full adult in the eyes of society, with a job and a family to care for. These days, teenagers have the same desires as back then, but we are not allowed to raise a family or work full-time (and for good reason!). What to do, what to do? Makes me want to cry. On the one hand, I have a sincere need for a romantic relationship, but on the other hand, most girls my age can't see past "He's a football player - Therefore I must stop at nothing to make him attracted to me!" The few girls I start to grow close to eventually dissapoint me, each one turns out to be extremely immature, though they don't seem to be at first. Whether it's sexually, emotionally, or spiritually, they always seem to be at the level of a six year old when it comes to relationships. It's frustrating, disheartening, and depressing. So I write poetry that they can't understand, but I've got 40 year olds crying when they read it and telling me how true it is, and how they wish that they had known as much when they were my age - but I do know, and it seems like no one else does. Obviously I've done a lot of thinking on the subject, though it's probably equally clear that those thoughts have been in small, disjointed bursts. Won't one of you older, wiser people help me with this? 17 year olds shouldn't have to deal with such things alone. I know that God will fulfill me in the long run, but as long as I am alive on this Earth, I will not be complete without a partner, a closest friend, a true companion, and a lover at that (though again, i feel compelled to state that this need is only a partially sexual one at it's core). Please tell me what you think. Any prayers would also be very appreciated. Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6 - - Unfallen Angel <p align="center"><a href="http://mysite.freeserve.com/Intereo_Liberi/test3.htm" target="_blank"><img src="http://mysite.freeserve.com/Intereo_Liberi/mythresult/gryphon.jpg" border="0" width="330" height="175"></a><br> I took the <a href="http://mysite.freeserve.com/Intereo_Liberi/test3.htm" target="_blank">What Mythological Creature Are you?</a> test by <lj user=peacefulchaos> !</p> <br><a href="http://spacefem.com/uselessquiz/index.shtml"> <img src="http://spacefem.com/uselessquiz/7.gif" border=0> </a><br>
Dualhunter Master Gunnery Sergeant Posts: 494 (12/9/02 6:56 am) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships "Which leads into another question - in the early days of civilization, after the flood, the average life span was about 30 years, right?" Where'd you get that from? They were still living to be pretty old by today's standards after the flood.
Unfallen Angel Lance Corporal Posts: 97 (12/9/02 6:34 pm) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships My bad, i meant a while after the flood. In early Egypt, in the beginnings of secular history.
SirNukes Cow Master Posts: 2003 (12/10/02 2:28 am) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships Ya, I thought that 30 year lifespan was odd as well. Are you sure on that figure? That it's not specialized, say, to underfead slaves, or a land perpetually at war? Because it strikes me as quite short. But anyway, I have a few things for you to consider, ua. First, having little to do with the subject at hand, is that it strikes me that you are a bit on the.. well.. proud side of things. Not to chew you out or anything about it (doing so would make me a hypocrite from some points of veiw), but remember that no one really knows all that much about anything. It's easy to impress people with insight; I often keep to myself and even I have managed to somehow gain complements of that sort. But that doesn't really mean anything... I'm still a dunce when it comes to life, as are most of us (especially young ones like you and I). For analogy, I could rave on and on about relativity to a bunch of older people who never went to college and get them to think that I am some super-bright genius that knows a ton about physics, but I'm still an idiot on the matter. Basically, what I'm saying is not to get to big of a head (and I mean that in the nicest way). Now then, back to topic of your post... keep in mind that cultures in which young people are allowed to be married and start having children at earlier ages also invariably (to the best of my knowledge) do a much better job about teaching those children about life than does our culture. A average child of 12 in their culture might very well have had all of the insight you have had, and then some. Sure, they might get married earlier than we do, but they probably are also much more mature than us upon marriage (again, on average). Now then, something to think about: there's no gauruntee that you will ever get married. It seems to me that that hasn't quite sunk in yet (again, I don't mean to be superior, just making an observation). Don't get too caught up with women; for all you know, you will die in a car accident a couple years from now. Besides, as you said, the girls you've been eyeing apperantly aren't mature enough for your tastes, so why eye them? If you do get married, you might not meet the girl for another 10 years. Out of the men I know, the one I most look up to for having a godly, happy marriage didn't get married until he was in his 30's, and only met his wife because she needed a ride home from church. To summarize, keep in mind that it might be a long while before you meet that special someone, or it might not happen. There are plenty of other things to worry about in the meantime. Now, the last point I want to hit on is essentially that having a wife, and caring for her, is something you don't strike me as being prepaired for. Consider... what is the basis of your desire for marriage? Selfishness, as I see it. It's not that you've met a woman you want to make happy, it's that you want to meet a woman who will make you happy. Sure, the girls you mention are immature, but are you that much more mature? Are you really ready for that which you desire? Again, I must stress that I don't mean this post to be condescending and rude, nor to strike myself up as superior. There's any number of things that could be wrong with what I said. And yes, I know I assume that you don't understand things nearly as well as you likely do. Still, I gave some things to consider, if you haven't already. Take them at face value. <a href="http://www.christiangamer.org"><img src="http://www.christiangamer.org/images/sirnukes.jpg"></a>
Unfallen Angel Lance Corporal Posts: 99 (12/11/02 1:26 am) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships You're right, of course, about almost everything. Quotes will be used only to provide a frame of reference, don't think I'm trying to debate here First of all, about the life span thing, I remember reading that it was the average for your standard Egyptian physical laborer, which as I recall made up the majority of that people. The nobility and royalty, of course, had a much longer life span. And no, I'm not sure on that figure, knowing me it's probably something I read when I was six and I've taken it completely out of context over the years. That stuff happens a lot with me Anyway, it was an example that I probably shouldn't have used, the point was that our bodies are mature far before we are emotionally equipped to handle them. I recall one author describing it as giving a family of 6 people a brand new house, then telling them that they couldn't use the running water for eight years. "keep in mind that cultures in which young people are allowed to be married and start having children at earlier ages also invariably (to the best of my knowledge) do a much better job about teaching those children about life than does our culture." And I agree, the overwhelming majority of teenagers in our culture should certainly not be entrusted with a family - including myself. The fact remains that physically we are capable of doing so, and that our natural desire is to want to do so. "Now then, something to think about: there's no gauruntee that you will ever get married. It seems to me that that hasn't quite sunk in yet (again, I don't mean to be superior, just making an observation). No offense taken, though I count that thought among the most sobering realizations that I've ever had (about two summers ago, I think). The fact that it might not happen doesn't change my hopes in any way. "Now, the last point I want to hit on is essentially that having a wife, and caring for her, is something you don't strike me as being prepaired for. Consider... what is the basis of your desire for marriage? Selfishness, as I see it. It's not that you've met a woman you want to make happy, it's that you want to meet a woman who will make you happy. Sure, the girls you mention are immature, but are you that much more mature? Are you really ready for that which you desire? Of course not! I'm 17, for crying out loud! I know good and well that I'm not that mature. It seems that the few girls that I count among those at or above my maturity level are too good for me - so instead of searching for the "right" one, I've decided to focus on improving myself and becoming the right one for my future wife, should God choose to give me one. Also, marriage should come out of love - not the other way around. I'm in no rush to get married, it's the concept of having that special relationship, and the prerequisite maturity and selflessness that go with it, on both our parts, that really attract me. I can't feel that kind of selfless yet romantic love for someone I've never met; it's no wonder that my ambition seems selfish. It can't be anything else without the other side of the relationship. A lone person cannot feel selfless love for someone else: there is no one else. btw, I really want to defend my disjointed and fuzzy thoughts right now by telling you that for some reason I only come to this board when I'm worn out and really should be in bed. But the insights you guys share with me here really makes it all worthwhile. Brent, thanks for putting me back in my place on the pride/maturity issue - it's all ground I've covered before a few times, but I keep working my way around the truth to become my old pompous and vain self. Oh yes and also: For analogy, I could rave on and on about relativity to a bunch of older people who never went to college and get them to think that I am some super-bright genius that knows a ton about physics, but I'm still an idiot on the matter. You sound like me! Definately something I'd do, and then feel like a fool later. I'm perfectly aware of my unjustified pride, and my overly pretensious and dramatic way of writing this stuff. Forgive me, and know that I really am trying to get over it. Thanks again, and praise the holy Lord above! - - Unfallen Angel EDIT: "Still, I gave some things to consider, if you haven't already." Thanks for that shred of respect, it means a lot to me. Edited by: Unfallen Angel at: 12/11/02 1:28:35 am
SirNukes Cow Master Posts: 2006 (12/12/02 12:25 am) Reply	Re: Thought on relationships Doh, only a shred of respect? I meant to give more. Sorry about that. And I should note that what I said occured to me because it applies to me... applies to most people, from what I've seen. Hence, my clarrifications about not meaning to be superior. Oh, and I tend to post on these things at night as well. I'm not sure why, but it seems to be a natural tendency among people to reflect on things at night, rather than some other time of day. It probably has to do with the morning looking forward to daytime, daytime looking forward to night, and night looking back on the day. Oh, and on the lifespan thing... are you sure most Egyptians were laborers? I know the idea is popularized by the work required to build the pyramids, but it seems to me that most of the Egyptian population would have been doing the standard jobs in any ancient culture (mainly farming). Physical labor would be limited to a small percentage of the population, and much would probably be from slaves... and I wouldn't be all that surprised if their lifespan were 30 years, because it's doubtful they were much cared for. <a href="http://www.christiangamer.org"><img src="http://www.christiangamer.org/images/sirnukes.jpg"></a>
DeadPan Private Posts: 1 (12/12/02 12:42 pm) Reply	marriage Marriage is spoken of clearly in the scriptures, it is a boon not a bane. Gen. 2:18 - And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alonel I will make him an help meet for him. Adam adds this.. Gen. 2:23-24 - And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of the Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Taken in with the commandment that followed, that they multiply the earth (that means, have children aplenty!) it would make sense that we, being the children of Adam and Eve also, that this commandment is passed on to us. There is an interesting note about fornication and why we should marry that also made me think of the scandals that currently plague the catholic church. 1 Timothy 4:1-3 - Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be recieved with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth. Another scripture reads.. 1 Corinthians 7:2 - Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. From this I gather that vows of celibacy are not what the Lord intended for mankind. If you truely seek marriage, than that's wonderful! However, we would do well to seek our own faults and see how we might better ourselves for our future mate, rather than seek the mate that would better US. Kind of a 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you' thing. You can always pray for guidance on finding the right woman, patience and prayer never hurt.
Kaze9999 friend Posts: 964 (12/12/02 3:50 pm) Reply	Re: marriage The best advice that I've heard on the whole 'desire for partnership' issue, is in general to imagine the partner you want, and then focus on who you'd have to be or what you'd have to do to be acceptable to that ideal partner. For example, you probably want a partner who is sincerely trying to serve God right? Well, if you concentrate on getting involved with some ministry, you are more likely to meet such a person who is doing the same thing...not that you join a ministry just to scam on the women in it (personally, in college, I noticed that 'puppet ministries' seemed to have the cutest women...but I joined a homeless outreach instead.... )! Eric --------------Just a signature------------------------ Genesis {33:19} He said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of Yahweh before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy." Romans {9:20} But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed ask him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?" {9:21} Or hasn't the potter a right over the clay, from the same lump to make one part a vessel for honor, and another for dishonor? Steven Brust {Phoenix} A god is someone who isn't bound by natural laws, and who can morally commit an action which would be immoral for someone who wasn't a god.
Unfallen Angel Corporal Posts: 101 (12/13/02 6:37 pm) Reply	Re: marriage I counted farmers as laborers, as most farm work is physical labor, though they did just use the flooding nile and animals to sow seed. Thanks for the thoughts, both of you. I used to be in a puppet ministry! lol The homeless outreaches tend to upset me, It's hard for me to give and give and give freely to people who desperately need your help, but never get a word of thanks. If anything, feedback from the homeless people is usually along the lines of "why aren't you doing better? This soup @#%$, gimme a third bowl." I love helping people, but when they treat you like dirt even as you're going so far out of your way to help them, I get upset. I know that I should try to get over that hang-up, though... That's all $:\$ - - ua
SirNukes Cow Master Posts: 2007 (12/13/02 7:15 pm) Reply	Re: marriage I suppose the thing to remember is that giving just to get thanks and feel better about yourself isn't the noblest of works, even if it is common. But what do I know, I don't do charity work. <a href="http://www.christiangamer.org"><img src="http://www.christiangamer.org/images/sirnukes.jpg"></a>
Kaze9999 friend Posts: 965 (12/16/02 12:22 pm) Reply	Re: marriage I think it is not so much a personality flaw as it is just individual personality. I do better at ministry where I am doing anonymous tasks, and not having to worry too much about people's feelings or, for that matter, relating much to them. I didn't do puppet ministry largely because being in front of lots of people and trying to communicate/influence is way stressful to me! Whereas helping to give out or prepare food or stuff is something I can do, and the people's reactions don't really affect me much. I actually get kind of uncomfortable if someone wants to come up to me and thank me.... Eric --------------Just a signature------------------------ Genesis {33:19} He said, "I will make all my goodness pass before you, and will proclaim the name of Yahweh before you. I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy." Romans {9:20} But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed ask him who formed it, "Why did you make me like this?" {9:21} Or hasn't the potter a right over the clay, from the same lump to make one part a vessel for honor, and another for dishonor? Steven Brust {Phoenix} A god is someone who isn't bound by natural laws, and who can morally commit an action which would be immoral for someone who wasn't a god.

The Faithful Knights of Christ > Christian Discussion > Thought on relationships
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