What if...

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Atlanta689 ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 72 (4/12/03 12:29 pm) Reply	What if... Hello, ladies. I do think hope chests are wonderful things and a good way to help prepare for marriage. But I have personally always wondered, What if God doesn't see fit for me to ever marry? What are your thoughts on this? Is this something I should even worry about? Should this conderation play into wether or not I have a hope chest? Atlanta
singergirl01 ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 84 (4/12/03 3:48 pm) Reply	Re: What if... My thoughts on that have always been that if I never marry, whatever I have in my hopechest will serve for when i'm living as a single person in my own house/apartment. But that's just me "The aim and final reason of all music should be nothing else but the Glory of God, and the refreshment of the spirit." --Johann Sebastian Bach My Site
BRRanch ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 152 (4/13/03 12:28 pm) Reply	Re: What if... Atlanta, This is a question I have had to face also. I'm 23 (soon to be 24) and at this point there is not one young man in my church or circle that I would concider marrying. I have a wonderful hopechest filled with neat things and do hope to use it. But if I don't marry I have thought about giving my treasures away to another young girl (or several young brides) just starting out with not much to start with. I know it would be a blessing to them. But, I have to remind myself not to give my goodies away too quick God could do the impossible any time in my life I'm looking forward to others thoughts. God Bless, ~~ Aja Nicole ~~
Atlanta689 ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 75 (4/18/03 9:41 pm) Reply	Re: What if... Thankyou for you comments, Deb and Aja Nicole! If any of you subscribe to Encouraging Word (published by Wisdom's Gate), to those of you who are collecting things for marriage, I HIGHLY recommend reading "A Hope Chest Full of Expectations" by Maranatha Chapman. It was an excellent article discussing hopechests and healthy preparation for marriage. If anyone is interested, I would be glad to share a summary of the article. Atlanta
BRRanch ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 158 (4/21/03 2:30 pm) Reply	Re: What if... Atlanta.... Yes I would love to hear about the article. I did receive AEW for one year but let my subscription run out. I have never read the article your talking about. So please do share BTW....I love reading the story of Isreal's and Brooks betrothal. I bought the booklet several years ago Thanks! ~~ Aja Nicole ~~
Blooming in His Care ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 31 (4/21/03 4:35 pm) Reply	Re: What if... I also have a hopechest full of wonderful things. I believe that if God decides that I should not be married I'll give most of what I have away to young brides and mothers. Most of what I have could be used in a single lifestyle...such as dishes, tableclothes, china etc. The baby clothing, I would give away to a mother-to-be as a gift. That is just what I would do. God Bless Jenny
Atlanta689 ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 80 (4/26/03 3:08 pm) Reply	Re: What if... Hello ladies, About "A Hope Chest Full of Expectations" by Maranatha Chapman. She writes out of concern about the many "young women who are filling their minds with fantasy and are predetermining what their future will be like based upon living in a dream world of their own making." She is particularly addressing "the counsel and materials that are seemingly wholesome and innocent in appearance, but yet, when followed, can actually lead young women astray and do great harm to their future, because it encourages them to engage their hearts and minds in establishing expectations." Daydreaming and fantasizing about ones future home can "subtly turn into demands that they will one day seek to impose upon their husband," and lead to much discontent when their husband does not go along with (for any reason) all the specific things they spent their teen years thinking up. Mrs. Chapman knows many stories where new wives planned too much, and were very hurt and disappointed when they found out that the many things they had aquired did not please their husbands. ". . .there is no way they can know their future hsuband's tastes or his particular flavor ahead of time. Men have varied preferences just like we women do. It is not the woman whom the home should reflect, but the man who is the head of it, and this is true even if he allows us to do most of the decorating." For some examples. . . say I love Victorian stuff, and spend my teen years aquiring all kinds of Victorian dishes, linens, etc. But what if God gives me a husband who has very different tastes and dislikes the Victorian style? "...sadly, many newlywed husbands, being ready to do anything to avoid conflict with their precious bride, swallow hard and don't say a word about how uncomfortable they feel sleeping under that lacy pink flowery quilt." "His home becomes a prison with her as the jailer because she has already decided everything, and anything he says about it hurts her." One woman aways wanted to do the cooking on her honeymoon to save money, but was hurt because her husband liked to take her out to nice restaurants. Another woman was devastated to find out that her husband much prefered a bland diet, after she had spent years learning elaborate and gourmet cooking, and aquiring fine kitchen gadgets. "...you will notice that the woman is doing something that is seemingly for her husband, but it is really all about her." In reference to hopechests, Mrs. Chapman also said, "I genuinely believe that there are a few young women who could manage to do this from a healthy place because they would keep it very general and hold it all very loosely in their hearts. But, in all honesty, I see this as a major distraction for most young ladies that will serve to hinder true preparation for their future." She calls mothers to teach their daughters to collect only those things that would fit with any man's tastes. Well, as you can see, Mrs. Chapman does come down pretty hard on specific expectations and plans in this area. Regardless of how specific your own hopechests are, I just thought it would be good to hear the perspective of an older, more experianced woman. I personally think her general advice of not dreaming up specific expectations was very good. This is just one of the many areas where we need to learn submission. There will be many situations that come up where we will be tempted to conflict with out future husbands; why not prevent one now by not setting our hearts on many specifics? Hope this is somehow helpful! Aja Nichole, I also read that courtship story in the last issue of Kindred Spirits. How inspiring! Atlanta
ChristinaRG ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 4 (11/22/03 4:28 pm) Reply	Re: What if... I have read Mrs. Chapman's courtship story in Jonathon Lindvall's "Bold Christian Living" and then read her article on Hopechests when I had a sample of "An Encouraging Word" sent to me awhile back. About a year before that, I requested back issues of Abigail Spinks' and Skye Erickson's "Dear Princess" magazine, and read Brooke's article on the need for young women to submit to the Lord their desire to marry. I was thrilled with this article, and to my utter surprise and delight , at the end of the article it said that she was married a few months after writing it!! How awesome and mysteriously God works! Christina
Atlanta689 ~Reminisce Member~ Posts: 150 (11/30/03 3:03 pm) Reply	Re: What if... Hi, Christina I have enjoyed Brook's writings also, when she was still publishing Kindred Spirits. Her writings were SO inspiring to me, and were my first real exposure to the concept of waiting and guarding one's heart. I am so thankful that the Lord led me to Kindred Spirits Magazine. Atlanta