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OKDeanna's Passions Fan Fiction Forum > Luis & Sheridan Stories > Chapter Six - Ten |
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Chapter Six - Ten Posted By: OKDeanna - ezOP Posts: 228 Posted At: (10/13/02 11:40 am) Reply |
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Chapter Six Luis watched as Sheridan’s face contorted in what looked like confusion. She stood in front of the big bay window on the opposite side of the room, the same place she had been for the last five minutes, and she was staring at him. He wasn’t bothered by her stare. No, what bothered him was the fact that he wasn’t at all sure that she was really seeing him. Her blue eyes were wide with what looked like fear. Was she afraid the guy that replaced him wouldn’t protect her as well as he did? Didn’t she know that she had nothing to worry about on that score? Didn’t she know that he would never leave her in the hands of someone he didn’t think was completely capable of protecting her? Did she trust him so little? He shook his head then forced himself to speak. Getting the words past the knot in his throat was a lot harder than he thought it would be, but he finally managed to do it. “Sheridan, I won’t let just anyone protect you. I’ll make sure the FBI sends someone that is completely trustworthy and I plan to check the guy out myself as well. I promise no harm is going to come to you. I give you my word on that. I hope you at least trust me on that?” “I trust you.” Sheridan said with quiet reassurance. “You know I trust you with my life, Luis.” I just can’t trust you with my heart. Her words from earlier replayed in his head and he fought the pain they brought with them. How could she trust him with one and not the other? He was having a devil of a time trying to wrap his brain around that one. He’d more than proven himself trustworthy to her, yet she still didn’t trust him completely. He tried to remember the night on the wharf, the one in which she accused him of saying those awful things about her, but he still couldn’t remember the night clearly. The only thing he could recall with vivid clarity was the kiss he’d given her. He vaguely recalled calling her later on that night, but he couldn’t remember anything else. He just kept drawing a blank. “I’m sorry.” Her soft whisper brought him out of his self-inquisition. He looked over at her and when he saw the tears, he couldn’t stop the tug it caused on his heartstrings. He hated to see her cry. She was meant to smile and to laugh. She wasn’t meant to be sad or hurt. “I’m sorry I didn’t believe you. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you. I know you were telling me the truth. I don’t need proof anymore. I believe you.” Luis furrowed his brow in confusion. “I don’t understand. What makes you believe me now that didn’t make you believe me then? My saying that I am going to call Hal and ask that someone else be assigned as your bodyguard? If that’s the case then I think you’re making a mistake. Don’t say you believe me because you don’t want me to leave. It’s not fair to you or to me. And it won’t change anything. Your belief in me about that night or any other night is not the reason I’m leaving. I’m leaving because I got emotionally involved with you and I can’t protect you that way. It’s unprofessional and it puts your life at risk.” “That’s not the reason I’m saying I believe you. I’m saying it because it’s true. I do believe you, Luis. I know you didn’t say those things about me. I know you didn’t because if you had I wouldn’t see the pain I saw in your eyes a few moments ago.” She walked toward him and slowly eased herself onto the bed beside him. “I think deep down I always believed you. I just couldn’t get what I heard and saw out of my head long enough to let myself admit that. But I admit it now. I have no idea what really happened that night on the wharf. For all I know I could be going crazy. But there is one thing I know for sure… you would never use me. I should have known that then but I let my fears cloud my knowledge of you, and for that I’m sorry. I –“ “Stop.” Luis said shaking his head sadly. “Don’t apologize to me. You say that you trust me that you believe me about that night but you don’t. Not really. I can see the doubt in your eyes, sweetheart. No matter how much you want to mean what you are saying to me you don’t. We could try and get past that night and we might even be able to for awhile, but at some point you’ll look at me and what you think you heard me say is going to come back to you. Because you don’t fully believe I didn’t say it. “ “That’s not true!” “Yes it is.” He said his voice full of the sadness he felt clutching at his heart. “Yes it is. And god how I wish it wasn’t.” He reached up to wipe away a tear that stole its way down her cheek then had to suck in a deep breath when she covered his hand with her own. She looked at him with sad eyes and his heart took another dive off a very high cliff. “Luis, I have no idea what happened that night. I really don’t. Julian had been telling me you were just using me, my father too. Maybe what they said caused me to hallucinate and –“ “Sheridan,” Luis said interrupting her outlandish thoughts. “Would you stop and listen to yourself? Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me that now you think that your mind conjured what you say you saw and heard that night? That all of the sudden, right after I say I’m going to get you another bodyguard, you don’t believe what you saw was true? I’m sorry Sheridan but you seemed pretty sure of what you saw and heard last night when you confronted me about it.” “I was but –“ “But nothing. The only reason you are saying you believe me is because you want me to stay on as your bodyguard. You said so yourself you trust me with your life but not your heart. That’s the whole reason for this one-eighty turn you’re taking right now. You trust me to protect you and you’re scared that the next guy won’t. Well, I can assure you that he will. I plan to make damn sure of that fact before I leave.” “No, Luis.” Sheridan said her tear filled eyes begging him to listen to her. “You don’t understand I –“ The front door to the cottage opened and Hank’s cheerful voice called out cutting off what Sheridan had been about to say. “Hey guys, I’m back with the Java. I guarantee it’s better than mine. Beth made it.” Luis heard Hank’s footsteps as he approached the bedroom and he pulled back intent on putting some distance between him and Sheridan. But apparently Sheridan disagreed with his decision because instead of letting him go she tightened her grip on his hand and when he pulled his arm back away from her - she ended up going with him. Her soft breasts pressed into his chest and one of her legs was pressed intimately between his own, but that wasn’t what affected him the most. No what affected him the most was the look in her eyes and the fact that her lips were a mere inch away from his. He raised his free hand to move a lock of hair back out of her eyes then without fully thinking about what he was doing, he closed the gap between them and did what he wanted to do since she led him into her bed. He kissed her and she… she kissed him back. As his lips descended on hers, Luis thought he heard Hank give a gasp of surprise as he opened the bedroom door, but he couldn’t be sure and he couldn’t bring himself to pull away from the woman in his arms long enough to look at his friend. Hell, the only thing he was sure of in that moment was the fact that Sheridan was in his arms and it was exactly where he wanted her to be… where she was supposed to be. Everything else came second. Chapter Seven Sheridan was so caught up in the emotions that Luis’ kiss was causing that she almost didn’t hear Hank’s gasp of surprise. But she did hear it and that was the reason she pulled away. She opened her eyes then slowly turned her head to the left. He was standing in the doorway, holding a small cardboard tray that housed three steaming cups of coffee. He looked a little confused but more importantly he looked hurt. Did Hank care for her more than she realized? She had thought his pursuit of her was just fun on his part, but looking at him now, she had to wonder. “Sorry.” Hank muttered as he quickly walked into the room and placed the cardboard tray on the small wooden nightstand by her bed. “I didn’t mean to – “ He broke off then shook his head and before she or Luis had time to say anything he turned and walked out of the room. A second later the sound of the front door opening and closing sounded throughout the house followed by nothing but silence. She swallowed hard then took a deep breath and turned her attention back to Luis. His eyes were still trained to the spot where Hank had stood and she could see the sadness in them - and the regret. Regret that their kiss hurt Hank? Or regret that they kissed? Her heart hurt just thinking about the latter. She didn’t want him to regret their kiss because she didn’t. Tears started to well in her eyes and she quickly closed them in an effort to avoid shedding them, but it didn’t work. A tear still managed to escape. She raised a hand to brush it away then not wanting Luis to see her tears, she made a move to get up. Before she could his hand shot out to grip her waist, stopping her from moving. “Sheridan?” He asked his voice softer than she had ever heard him use. “Sheridan, please open your eyes. Open your eyes and look at me.” She took a deep cleansing breath then slowly did as he asked. The moment she saw the look in his brown eyes, the tears she had hoped to hide came rushing forward. “We hurt him, didn’t we?” “Yeah,” He whispered raising a hand to wipe away the tears stealing their way down her cheeks. “We hurt him.” “I never saw him as anything more than a friend. You know that, don’t you?” She asked searching his deep brown gaze. He nodded then gave her a faint smile. “I know, but after seeing the look on his face just now… I don’t think he knew that. He really cares for you, Sheridan. I didn’t really realize how much until just now.” “I know me either.” She whispered sadly. “I care for him too, just not in the way he wants me to.” “I know.” Luis nodded then a split second later gave a grimace of pain. “Damn, I wish this headache would go away.” “Why didn’t you say something!” Sheridan asked sliding off him and getting to her feet. “I’ll go get you some aspirin.” ‘No,” he said reaching out to grab her wrist. “We need to talk… about what happened.” “I know and we will, but if you’re in pain –“ “I’m fine.” Luis muttered even as he grimaced. “It’s just a headache. It’ll go away.” She raised a brow at him then slowly pried his fingers from his wrist and turned. “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to get you some aspirin. We can talk more when your headache goes away.” “If it goes away.” She heard him say as she walked out the bedroom door and turned to go into the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet that sat on the wall above her sink then scanned the shelves for the aspirin. Finding the bottle, she picked it up then pressed down and twisted the cap until it came off. After getting out two aspirin and placing the lid back on the bottle then reshelving it, she made her way into the kitchen to get a glass of water so that he could take them. When she finally returned to the bedroom, Luis had his eyes closed and she smiled at the sight he provided. Her pale yellow sheets were placed strategically at his waist and one muscular leg stuck out from beneath the covers. He made a tempting picture, she thought as she walked closer to the bed. She had often wondered what it would be like if she invited him into her bed but this was definitely not the way she pictured it happening. “Luis, here’s your aspirin.” He didn’t open his eyes and upon closer inspection, she realized he’d fallen asleep. She could hear his rhythmic breathing and her eyes watched as his muscular chest raised up and down with each breath he took. The man was too hot for words yet he never acted like he knew it. He was too down to earth to be conceited. One of the many things she loved about him. And she did love him, she thought with a smile. She had kept her feelings to herself out of fear of that if he knew he would use them against her, but she had always known deep down that it was more a fear of rejection that kept her from telling him how she felt than a fear he was only using her. She gently traced the outline of his jaw then when she realized she might wake him she pulled it back. He needed to sleep. He’d been dizzy earlier and she knew it stemmed from the concussion he’s received last night when he hit the edge of the table at the pool hall. Pangs of guilt swept through her heart and she let them come. She should feel guilty. She had hurt him so much by not believing him about not saying those awful things about her. She did believe him now but the ironic thing was that he didn’t believe her when she said it. He thought she didn’t want him to leave, which was true she didn’t want anyone else to be her bodyguard, but it wasn’t what had changed her mind about him using her. The pain in his eyes at her inability to believe in him and to trust him had changed her mind. He hadn’t been putting on an act with her. He really did care about her. She had seen it in his eyes. She had always seen it but had refused to believe they were real. They were real though and now she knew it. She didn’t have any answers about what happened that night but she did plan on getting some. She planned to find out exactly what happened that night on the wharf. If it had been all in her mind then she would find out. She didn’t want to believe that but what choice did she really have? Hadn’t she done the same thing before? She had conjured up images of a dead body, because as Eve said she felt guilty over her mother’s death. Had she conjured up Luis’ saying those awful things b/c Julian had put the notion in her head and her past experiences led her to actually believe them? It would make sense she supposed, but something inside her kept saying she hadn’t conjured up anything. But if it wasn’t Luis’ and it wasn’t in her mind then who was the man she saw and heard that night? And why did he have Luis’ face and voice? A sharp pain shot through her head, brought on by her confusion over that night she knew, and she quickly popped the two aspirin into her mouth then took a sip of the water she’d brought to Luis. She had so many questions and no idea on how to get the answers. Maybe Luis’ could help her with that. Maybe together they could find out what happened on the wharf that night. But first she had to get him to believe her when she said she knew it wasn’t him. Sheridan shook her head then sat the glass of water in her hand on the table beside the tray of coffee that neither of them had touched. Once her hands were free, she leaned over to raise the sheet up over Luis’s chest then gave him a light kiss on the forehead. She knew she would have her work cut out for her in convincing him that she did trust him and did believe in him, but she was determined to do it. She was determined to fix all the misunderstandings they had between them because she couldn’t let him walk out of her life. She just wasn’t strong enough to let him go and she knew without a doubt she never would be. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Luis woke to find Sheridan wrapped in his embrace. Her cheek and one small hand rested against his chest. He swallowed hard. She had been in the other room when he’d fallen asleep so she must have joined him in the bed sometime after that. She looked peaceful when she slept, he thought unable to stop himself from raising a hand to move a lock of her hair out of her eyes. The sun cast a light across her face and Luis thought she looked like an angel, a beautiful sleeping angel. He smiled at the thought then leaned in to place a kiss on her forehead. She murmured something in her sleep and he couldn’t quite make out the words. “Sheridan?” “Mmm, Luis… I love you.” He froze wondering if she said what he thought she did. Surely, his mind was playing tricks on him. Surely she hadn’t just said she loved him? “Sher –“ He broke off as her slender hand started to roam his chest then slipped down to where the sheet rested over his lean hips. He let out a strangled moan as her hand rubbed over him. He knew he had to stop her, but as her hand continued to stroke him through the sheet, he found he couldn’t breathe let alone think coherently. He closed his eyes as she began to kiss his chest, but then all at once her machinations stopped. When he opened his eyes again, he found himself looking into her wide blue eyes. The color rose high on her cheeks and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling at her. “If I had known you were so amorous in your sleep, I would have slept with you months ago.” She let out a laugh then playfully hit his shoulder. “I bet you would have.” “So do you always wake up so –“ “Don’t even finish that.” She said laughing as she rolled away from him and quickly got to her feet. “I was dreaming.” “Of me?” He asked pulling himself up into a sitting position and placing the pillow against the headboard of her bed then leaning back against it. He threw her an amused look. “You said my name, you know.” He watched as she took a deep breath. “What else did I say?” “Um,” He stopped unsure of whether or not to tell her that she’d said she loved him. What if she tried to deny it? What if she admitted it? “Sheridan, um, well, you –“ “Well what? What did I say?” “You…” he stopped and cleared his throat then forced himself to say the words. “You said I love you.” She looked at him for a moment then sank down onto the other side of the bed. “I said that?” “Yes, you did. Did you… Did you mean it?” He asked trying to keep the hope out of his voice. He hoped she did love him because he loved her. In fact, he always had. That was the reason her inability to believe in him… to trust in him had hurt so much. He loved her and the fact that the woman he loved didn’t trust him was almost too painful to bear. He knew her admitting she loved him wouldn’t change the fact that she didn’t fully trust him, but it was a start. Because if she gave him her heart then she had to trust him more than she said she did. More than she knew she did. As he waited for her answer, one thought played over and over again in his head, maybe just maybe there was hope for them after all. Chapter Eight Sheridan sucked in a deep breath. She had been dreaming when she uttered those words, but she knew they were true. She had admitted it to herself earlier. But she wasn’t at all sure she was ready to admit it him. Then again what more did she have to lose? Maybe admitting her love for him was the only way she would be able to convince him that she believed him about the night on the wharf. She took a deep breath then met his dark brown eyes and whispered the words that she was sure would change both of their lives forever. “Yes, I meant it. I meant every word of it. I love you, Luis. I love you with all of my heart.” He took a deep intake of breath and she wasn’t sure who her confession surprised more – him or her. She had wanted to say those words for so long and now that she had, she felt relieved and happy. Of course, she would be happier if Luis would say something. He just kept looking at her with those dark eyes, eyes that told her nothing about how he felt for her. She knew he cared for her, she knew that, but did he love her? His words last night led her to believe he did, but maybe she read more into them than he meant to be there. Sheridan got up from her place on the bed then used her shaky legs to walk toward the window. She waited for him to say something and the more time that went by the more sure she was that he didn’t feel the same way. Maybe he had once, but her inability to trust and believe in him had probably shattered those feelings. Tears welled in her eyes and she reached up to wipe them away before they fell down her cheeks. She didn’t want to – “I thought of a hundred different ways to tell you how I felt.” Luis said interrupting her thoughts as he came up behind her and turned her around to face him. “But none of those ways fit the moment we’re in right now. None of them except the three words that are the hardest to say. I’m not good with words. I never have been. But I need to say these words to you just as much as you need to hear them. I… I love you, Sheridan. I think I loved you before I met you. I remember the first time I saw you, in your car just after you hit my cruiser the first time, you looked so beautiful and I was so sure I was going to get lost in your eyes. It took everything I had to keep things professional and do my job. I didn’t want to arrest you, I wanted to kiss you, which was crazy.” “We had just met. You had just totaled my police cruiser. Tried to intimidate me because you were a Crane yet the only thing I wanted to do was kiss you. I didn’t understand it at the time and because of that I was angry with you. I was angry because I didn’t understand how I could have those feelings for a complete stranger, a Crane no less. But I understand now. You are unlike any woman I’ve ever met before and the way you make me feel is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before.” He grabbed her hand and brought it to his bare chest, laying it just over his heart. “Do you feel that? Do you feel how fast it’s beating? Only you make it beat that fast. Only you affect me this way. Only you Sheridan, because you are the woman I’m in love with.” Tears fell down her cheeks and he reached up to wipe them away, which only made her cry even more. She had no idea what she had done to deserve a man like Luis, but she thanked god that he brought him into her life. She raised a hand to Luis’ cheek then moved closer until her lips were a breath away from his. “I’m in love with you too, Luis.” Time seemed to stand still as Luis wrapped his arms around her and covered her mouth with his. It was as if she had been waiting for this moment all her life, which she was sure she had been. She remembered her dreams of a man rescuing her and she knew without a doubt the man she had been dreaming of was Luis. It didn’t matter that she hadn’t ever seen his face. She just knew it was him. She could feel it. The connection they had between them had always been strong and now she knew that connection was built on love. The phone rang and jarred both of them out of their passion filled daze. “Let machine can get it.” “It could be important.” She muttered against her lips. “Nothing is more important than what’s happening right now, between you and me.” She smiled as he covered her lips with his own, but then just as she was about to lose herself in his kiss, she heard Agent Freeman’s voice on the phone. “Officer Lopez-Fitzgerald, Ms. Crane. If you are there pick up the phone. This is important.” Luis released her then grabbed the towel at his waist and hurried into the next room. “We’re here.” He said as he placed the receiver up to his ear. “What’s going on?” The answering machine didn’t kick off like it normally did and because of that Sheridan was able to hear Agent Freeman. “We just got word that Interpol caught Roger and Pierre. Your assignment as Ms. Crane’s bodyguard is over Officer. You’re free to go.” “Just because Roger and Pierre was caught that doesn’t mean Sheridan’s life is in any less danger! How can you be sure they won’t send someone else after her.” “Because Sheridan is the least of their problems right now. We have them on charges that we won’t need Sheridan for, which means the threat she posed to them has lessened to the point that it’s almost nonexistent. She isn’t the only person that can send them to prison. Not anymore.” “And you’re positive of this?” “Yes, I wouldn’t have called if I wasn’t. You are both free to get on with your lives. Oh and before I forget, I put in a recommendation with the police board that you be promoted to detective. Act surprise when Chief Bennett calls you about it. Congratulations.” Sheridan gripped the edge of the doorframe as a dial tone suddenly sounded on the answering machine. Luis turned to her, surprise lighting his eyes, and finally the implication of Agent Freeman’s phone call sank in. It was over. Luis’ stint as her bodyguard was over. That fact once would have made her very happy, but now it left her feeling… empty. * * * * * Luis reeled from the impact of Agent Freeman’s phone call. He had wished for this moment countless times before, but now that it was here he would give anything in the world to make it go away. He didn’t want to leave Sheridan. They had finally admitted their love to one another and now just as things were starting to look up, the bottom drops out from underneath them. Once he left the cottage, he had no doubt that Julian and Alistair would do everything in their power to keep him and Sheridan apart. They had succeeded once and he didn’t have enough confidence in his and Sheridan’s newfound relationship to think they wouldn’t again. Julian wouldn’t hesitate to remind him of the deal they struck upon him getting the kidnapping charges against him dropped. Now that his hopes of making detective were coming true having those charges reinstated would… would destroy all hope of that happening. Damn Julian Crane and his damn deal. And damn himself for agreeing to it. CHAPTER NINE Sheridan watched as Luis packed the last of his clothes into his black bag and couldn't stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. They had admitted they loved each other so why did it suddenly feel as if everything that had just built was over? Luis seemed to be trying to keep an emotional distance from her right now and she didn't understand the reason why. He had told her he loved her and yet he hadn't said two words to her since Agent Freeman called to relieve him as her bodyguard. "Luis?" She asked her hand hovering over his back for a fraction of a second before falling to her side. "Why are you suddenly shutting me out?" "I have to." He said turning to her with regretful eyes. "I have no choice. I -" He stopped and shook his head. "I can't tell you the reason. Let's just say I agreed to something I wish I hadn't and now I have no choice but to keep my side of the deal." "What deal?" She asked searching his eyes, begging him to open up to her. "Who did you make a deal with and what does it have to do with your shutting me out?" "I can't tell you, Sheridan. I'm sorry." He lowered his head to look at the coffee table and in the next instant he picked up the glass that sat on it and threw it against the wall. "Dammit!" Sheridan jumped at the anger in his voice. "Luis talk to me. Tell me what is going on. Maybe can help." "You can't!" He snapped. "You're the reason I made the damn deal in the first place!" She reared back as if he'd struck her. Where was this sudden anger toward her coming from? Why did he suddenly seem as if he were blaming her for something? "Is this about what happened at the wharf? I thought you understood that I -" "This has nothing to do with the wharf, Sheridan. It has to do with you and me and the fact that we can never be together no matter how much we want to be!" "I don't understand." She said taking a tentative step toward him. "Before Hal called I thought -" "So did I, but then I remembered that a relationship between us would never work. There are too many things going against us... namely your family." "What does my family have to do with this?" She asked reaching out to him only to have him back away from her touch. She frowned then lowered her head and wrapped her arms around herself. "You're afraid of what my family will do? Is that it?" "I'm not afraid of anything." He said his eyes almost as cold as his voice. "I'm merely stating the truth. Your family will never allow us to be together. They hate me as much as I hate them. If we stay together one of two things will happen either they will turn you against me or you will turn against them, which ultimately means you'd have to choose between your family and me. I know what your choice would be. Family means as much to you as it does to me." "Luis I don't want to leave things like this." "I don't either." He said picking up his bag and meeting her eyes. "But it's the way it has to be. I have to go. I'm sure by now Julian knows I'm off the case and I'd just as soon avoid seeing him right now." "But Luis!" She yelled as he walked toward the door and opened it. "I don't want you to go. I love you. I don't want you to leave me." He lowered his head then tightened his grip on the doorknob. "I love you too, Sheridan. But sometimes love just isn't enough." Sheridan watched as he quietly closed the door and the sound rippled through her cottage, leaving her with an emptiness she'd never felt before. Luis was gone. He'd left her. It was over, she thought hugging her knees to her chest and burying her face in them, it was truly over. * * * * * Luis closed the door then walked down the steps. He paused and glanced in the window just in time to see Sheridan fall to her knees, crying. His heart ached for her - and for him. He'd give anything to be able to walk back inside and tell her he'd made a mistake, but he knew he couldn't. Not until he cleared this damn deal with Julian up. He'd given his word and he'd never in his life gone back on his word. It didn't matter that Julian was a Crane and that he hated his guts, he'd given his word and he would not break it no matter how much he wanted to. Dammit, he thought turning his back on the woman he loved and walking toward his police cruiser, he had to get out of here before she came out and tried to change his mind again. He knew deep down she wouldn't come out, but he couldn't stop himself from hoping she would even as he hoped she wouldn't. Why did things between them have to be so damn complicated? He knew the reason of course. Julian and his damn deal. If only he hadn't agreed to it, but then he'd really had no choice under the circumstances. If he hadn't agreed to the deal then his career in law enforcement and any hope he'd ever had of making detective would go up in smoke. At the time he and Sheridan wanted nothing to do with each other so the deal had seemed like the best solution. But then the FBI had assigned him as Sheridan's bodyguard and spending all that time with her brought them closer than either one of them could have ever imagined. And now that his assignment as her bodyguard was over, he had no choice but to stick to the deal he agreed to. Hal had already put in a recommendation for him to be promoted to detective and his family needed the money. His career was everything to him, but so was the heartbroken woman he'd left inside the cottage. He reached for the door of his police cruiser and a sudden unexpected jolt of emotion slammed through his body almost knocking him off his feet. He forced himself to stay in control and not give into the emotion, but it was hard. It was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do in his life, but the moment he loaded himself up in the cruiser and started the engine, he knew he was doing the right thing. He had been raised that a man wasn't a man unless he could keep his word to those he gave it to and he believed that. He believed that deep down in the depths of his soul. And no matter how much he didn't want to keep his word Julian, he would keep it, because that's who he was. He was a man of his word and the day his word meant nothing would be the day he died. Luis put his cruiser in gear then drove out of the Crane mansion fighting the urge to look back to see if he could see Sheridan. He had made his bed the day he agreed to Julian Crane's deal and now unfortunately he would have to lie in it - alone. CHAPTER TEN Sheridan took a deep breath then stared out at the body of water before her. For the first time in months, she was actually able to leave her cottage alone, and yet alone was the last thing she wanted to be. She missed Luis, she thought gripping the railing that separated her from the water below. He'd only left her a few hours ago and when he had the memories had assaulted her. They'd come upon her so fast that she'd felt herself suffocating from the inability to face them. It hadn't mattered where she looked, everything had reminded her of Luis. Everything held memories of him, from the couch he slept on to the phone he'd held in his hands so many times during his stay. It all made her miss him and caused her more pain that she was prepared to deal with. He'd become such a big part of her life that she had no idea what to do now that he said he could no longer be apart of it. She didn't understand his reasons. Not when a few short minutes before he had told her he loved her. He'd placed her hand on his heart and said it beat for her, she had felt each heartbeat and she'd seen the love in his eyes. But now... now all of the sudden that love wasn't enough and she didn't understand the reason why. He'd said their being together would result in her having to chose between her family and him, but she knew there was more to it than just that. He'd spoken of some deal he'd made, but she didn't understand what he was talking about or why it would keep them apart. And why couldn't he tell her what it was? She closed her eyes as tears once again burned them and wondered how long it would take her to get over him. She'd gone to Paris to get over his breaking her heart, but he'd followed her there even before he showed up in the flesh. She feared he would always follow her. "Oh Luis." She said reaching up to wipe her eyes. "How am I going to live without you? How am I going to deal with another broken heart?" "Sheridan?" A voice called out from behind her. "Are you okay? You look like you're crying?" She turned to see Hank standing there looking at her in concern. She didn't speak as he pulled her into his embrace. She couldn't have even if she wanted to. She simply broke down in his arms. "I lost him, Hank. It's over. My god, it's really over." "What?" Hank asked as he stroked the back of her head. "I don't understand. I saw you two this morning. How can it be over now?" "I don't know." She said her voice quivering, her body shaking. "But it is. He told me it was. He said love wasn't enough, Hank. He told me love wasn't enough. Oh god, it hurts. It hurts so much." "Shh." Hank said tightening his arms around her. "It'll be okay, Sheridan, it'll be okay." "No it won't." She whispered as the tears continued to slide down her cheeks. "It'll never be all right again. Not without him. I love him, Hank, I love him so much." "I know you do." He said pulling her head to his chest. "I know you do." * * * * * As Luis watched the scene before him, the ache in his chest grew more intense. He'd really hurt her tonight and he'd give anything in the world to make that hurt go away. But he knew he couldn't. Not without going back on his word to Julian and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't do that. It wasn't the type of man he was and he'd never be able to respect himself if he didn't keep his word, even if it was to a bastard like Julian Crane. He should have known when he agreed to it, that it would one day cost him, but at the time it was the only option he had if he wanted to keep his career. His career in law enforcement wasn't just a job to him, it was a part of him, a very big part, and without it he wouldn't be the man she loved. He knew she didn't understand his reasons for ending things between them, but he couldn't explain them to her. He had to get things squared away with Julian first. He knew Julian wasn't going to just let him out of the deal, but he had to try. He shook his head then turned and made his way back around the corner before Hank or Sheridan saw him. He didn't want to cause Sheridan anymore pain than he already had and he knew them running into each other right now would do just that. God, what he wouldn't give to be able to just forget about everything standing in their way, but he couldn't. He couldn't forget because the moment he did, Julian Crane would be there to remind him and a pair of handcuffs wouldn't be that far behind him either. He felt the anger start to rise again, but this time it was directed at himself. How could he have made a deal with Julian? A man he believed to be responsible for his father's disappearance? He knew if his career hadn't been on the line and if Sheridan hadn't already made it perfectly clear that she never wanted to see him again then he wouldn't have made that damn deal. But he had made it and now he had to live with the consequences. He rubbed a hand over his face then stomped up the steps and made his way around to the stores that lined the wharf. He'd just rounded the corner to walk back to his cruiser when he bumped into someone. "Sorry buddy, I wasn't watching where I was... Jake! Hey man, what brings you down to the wharf tonight?" "Luis." Jake said raising his brows in surprise. "I... I was just out walking and I somehow ended up here." Something tore at the back of his memory, but for the life of him he couldn't figure out what it was. He knew it had something to do with what Jake said but... "Hey, I remember now. I remember why you looked so familiar to me the other night at the pool hall. I saw you down here at the wharf a few months back. Why didn't you tell me that we'd run into each other before?" "Uh, are you sure it was me?" Jake asked with a somewhat nervous laugh. "I don't remember ever running into you before that night at the pool hall." Luis could tell he was lying but he wasn't quite sure why. His mind went over the night he saw Jake down here and he remembered the conversation they'd had about the black bag he'd been carrying. Jake had said it was workout clothes for the gym, but Luis had been suspicious and was just about to ask him to open the bag when Sam called him to ask him to come in and fill out the paper work on the drug bust he'd made that night. Luis froze as he realized that was the same night he kissed Sheridan in an effort to protect his cover. It was also the same night she said she saw and heard him saying those things about her. But it hadn't been him because he'd left after Sheridan did and that was when he'd run into Jake. Jake was his proof, he thought suddenly feeling as if he'd won the lottery, his proof that he didn't say those things that he hadn't been on the wharf when she said he was. But then again what did that matter anymore? It wasn't what was keeping them apart right now - the deal he made with Julian was. And until he got that taken care of, this new knowledge wouldn't do him a damn bit of good. To Be Continued... Author of over 40 fan fiction stories, some of which include:
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| The Twisted Truth: Prologue - Chapter Five | OKDeanna | 10/13/02 11:38 am |
| Chapter Six - Ten | OKDeanna | 10/13/02 11:40 am |
| Chapter Eleven - Fifteen | OKDeanna | 10/13/02 11:41 am |
| Chapter Sixteen - Twenty *Final Chapters* | OKDeanna | 10/13/02 11:43 am |
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