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OKDeanna's Passions Fan Fiction Forum > Gwen & Hank Stories > More Than Friends: Ch 5-8 *Story #3 in Falling Fast Series* |
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More Than Friends: Ch 5-8 *Story #3 in Falling Fast Series* Posted By: OKDeanna - ezOP Posts: 255 Posted At: (10/15/02 9:09 am) Reply |
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CHAPTER FIVE The blood roared through his ears and his heart pounded in his chest, but neither one was enough to stop Gwen's words from penetrating through his passion fogged brain. Hank swallowed hard then raised himself up on his elbows and looked into her shock filled brown eyes. "What did you just say?" He watched her drag in a deep breath then close her eyes trying to... trying to what? Shut him out? He supposed that was possible. Given what he'd learned about her over the last six months he knew she wasn't going to just let what she said stand. "Um, Hank, I didn't... I didn't mean that the way it sounded." "You didn't." He said furrowing his brow and watching as she dragged in another breath then opened her eyes to reveal her uncertainty. "No, I just... I was... I was just caught up in the moment." She paused for a heartbeat then rushed on the words practically flying out of her mouth before he even had time to comprehend them. "I was caught up in how you made me feel and I... I meant that I love you for making me feel that way. I didn't mean.... I didn't mean I looove you." "So let me get this straight," Hank said. "You don't love me, but you made love with me?" "Hank! I was trying to -." She stopped and closed her eyes then covered her face with her forearm. "I give up." "I know what you were trying to do." He said with a chuckle as he raised his hand and moved her arm away from her face. When she opened her eyes again, he grew serious. "Did you mean it?" "I didn't mean to say it." She said searching his eyes then giving him a small smile. "But I do mean it." He started to open his mouth, but her finger across his lips stopped him. "Don't. You don't have to say anything. I didn't mean to put you on the spot by saying I love you. I wasn't ready to say it. I didn't even know I was going to say it until the words left my mouth. I don't want you to say something you don't feel just because you think it's what I want to hear. I don't want that at all." "And you really think that's what I'd be doing?" He asked when she finally removed her finger from his lips. "You really think I'd say something that I don't mean?" "No, I think you'll think you mean it. But -" She took a deep breath then looked at him her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I don't want to ruin what is happening by us saying something before we're ready. Can we just forget I said it?" "Forget it?" Hank asked finally rolling himself off of her and sliding out of the bed. He walked into the bathroom and took care of the condom then walked back out to search for his boxers. He found them on the floor beside the bed and made quick work of putting them on. "You want me to forget that you just said you loved me?" "Hank -" "No." He said cutting her off and holding up his hand. "Don't say anything else. I can't believe you actually asked me to forget that you just said you love me! After what we just shared..." He broke off then looked around the floor until he found his jeans. He jammed his right leg into one pant leg then did the same with his left and pulled the jeans up over his hips. He zipped them furiously, but didn’t bother with the snap. He was angrier than he'd been in a really long time and he wasn't really sure why. He just knew her suggestion about forgetting what she said really ticked him off. "Hank I... I didn't mean to upset you. I just... I just didn't want to -" "To put me on the spot. Yeah, I got that." He said coldly as he began to look around for his shirt. He found it by the dresser and slammed his arms into the sleeves. There were only three buttons left on it and he didn't bother messing with them. "You know what I think, Gwen? I think you're scared of what you said and you're even more scared that I feel the same way. In fact, judging by the look on your face I'd say you're terrified." "Terrified?" She said rising up on her knees and pulling the sheet across her chest. "I'm not terrified. And I'm certainly not scared of what I said or that you feel the same way! I just didn't want you to have to say something you weren't ready to say! That's all." "And what makes you think I'm not ready to say it?" He asked walking toward her and sitting on the edge of the bed then leaning down to pull his shoes out from under the bed. He raised his right foot and placed it on his left knee then pulled on his shoe. When he had both shoes on he sat his feet on the floor then got up and turned to face her. "What makes you so damn sure that I'm not ready?" "The fact that you didn't say it." She said closing her eyes and lowering her voice to a tone barely above a whisper. "You didn't give me a chance!" He said placing his hands on his hips then releasing a heavy sigh when she opened her eyes to reveal her tears. "You stopped me before I could say anything." "I know." She whispered in voice rich with defeat. He stood frozen as the tears started to fall down her cheeks. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I am the one who isn't ready. I didn't expect to feel this way, Hank. I really didn't. I mean I knew I cared about you, but the possibility that I was falling in love with you never even entered my head. So when those words came out I was... I was just as surprised as you were." All the anger he felt melted away as he saw the truth in her eyes. She really was scared and whether he admitted it or not, he was too. This was entirely new territory for him. She was his best friend and he'd just taken her to bed. But more than that she just told him she loved him and even though he hadn't said he yet, he knew he felt the same way. * * * * * Gwen reached up to wipe away her tears then sucked in a deep breath when Hank sat back down onto the bed and pulled her into his arms. She laid her head against his shoulder then closed her eyes as he began to rub his hand over her bare back. "Don't cry, Gwen." He whispered as he moved his hand higher and began to stroke the back of her head. "If you're not ready to face what's happening between us or if you need time to take it all in then we'll table this discussion for now. Will that make you feel better?" She raised her head then favored him with a small smile. "I don't know. I just want to be sure this time, Hank. I can't take another heartbreak. I really can't." "I won't break your heart, Gwen." He said reaching up and touching her cheek with the knuckles of his right hand. "I won't hurt you the way Ethan did. You have to know that." "I know you're nothing like Ethan. It's just things between us have changed so much over the last few days and..." She stopped and took a deep breath then told him the one thing that had been going through her mind since she'd uttered those three little words. "I'm scared that it's all happening too fast." "Then we'll slow things down until you're ready." He said moving his hand to the back of her neck and gently rubbing the tension there. "I don't want to rush you into something that you're not ready for. I don't want to lose you." "You won't lose me." She whispered leaning in to place a small kiss against his lips. "I just need some time to digest what's happened. I just need time." "Then you got it." He said brushing his lips across hers then pulling her head back to his shoulder and wrapping his arms around her. "We'll take things one day at a time and when you're ready to talk about what's happening between us then we will." She nodded her head against his shoulder then wrapped her arms around his waist and held on for dear life. She had no idea what she'd done to deserve a man like Hank, but she wasn't going to screw it up by allowing things to move at a break neck speed. She knew how she felt about him, but she wasn't ready to hear how he felt about her... not yet. Because the moment he told her that, would be the moment that both of their lives changed forever. CHAPTER SIX Hank opened his eyes then broke out into a wide grin when he saw Gwen's beautiful brown eyes staring down at him. "Hey." "Hey." Gwen said her voice sounding as if she had already been up for a good while. "You slept over." "Yeah," He said raising a hand to rub the sleep out of the corner of his eyes. "I didn't want to leave until you fell asleep, but I guess ended up falling asleep along with you." "Yeah, I guess you did." She said smiling down at him. "How long have you been up?" He asked moving his hand to her face and gently moving a lock of blond hair back away from it. "About ten minutes or so." "Why didn't you wake me?" He asked searching her eyes wondering what she'd been doing for those ten minutes or so. Then a thought occurred to him. "Were you watching me sleep, Gwen?" "No, I was just... um, I was just..." Her voice cracked and his eyes went wide with amazement as her cheeks began to rise in their color. Well, I'll be damned, he thought feeling a warm sensation float through his veins, she had been watching him sleep. He ran the knuckle of his right index finger across her cheek then smiled when she closed her eyes and tilted her head into his touch. Her eyes locked onto his and he could feel them burning their way to his soul. "Gwen..." "Yes." She whispered her head lowering just a fraction of an inch. "I thought you wanted to slow things down." He said raising his head up off the pillow until her lips were just barely above his own. "Did I?" She asked casting her eyes downward until they rested on his lips. He sucked in a deep breath as one of her hands slipped up his chest to the back of his neck. "I think I just changed my mind." He began to lean in closer only to freeze when the phone rang. "If we ignore it maybe it will stop." Gwen sighed then shook her head as she rolled away from him, the sheet still draped around her body, and reached toward the nightstand by her bed. "Not if it is who I think it is." She picked up the caller id then sent him a smirk. "It's mother and I can tell you right now that she won't go away." "Then you better answer it." Hank said frowning as he slid out of the bed and began to straighten his shirt. "You know I could really use a shower. Would you mind if I...?" "No go ahead." She said turning around and waving a hand toward the bathroom. "If I know mother it will take me awhile to get off the phone." Hank shook his head then turned and walked into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind him. He quickly shed his shoes, shirt, jeans, and boxers, flipped on the water in the tub and turned on the sprayer for the shower. Once it was the right temperature he stepped inside and pulled the shower curtain closed, releasing a heavy breath as the water washed over him. He hadn't meant to fall asleep last night, but while he was holding Gwen waiting for her to fall asleep, he shut his eyes and not long after he must have fallen asleep. She had said she wanted to take things slow, but then he'd woken and found her looking at him, looking at him in way that had his heart speeding through his chest. He grabbed the soap off the ledge beside him then began to lather up his skin. If he had known he was going to stay over last night, he would have brought another change of clothes. Then again how could he have known that? He hadn't known what was going to happen at dinner or what would happen when he agreed to come in for a drink. Gwen was right about things moving a bit too fast, he knew it but his body didn't agree with him, especially when he was standing in her shower wishing like hell she was in her with him. An image of Gwen opening the curtain and joining him flashed in his mind, causing him to drop the soap in his hand and brace himself against the shower wall in front of him. He could feel her hands on his back as she moved the soap across his skin, her nails lightly scraping him. Then she would run her soapy hands along his chest toward his.... He groaned as the images got more intense then reached down to turn the water toward cold. He only prayed it was enough to cool his heated body. Something told him it wouldn't be. * * * * * Gwen replaced the receiver in its cradle then turned to stare at the closed bathroom door. She knew what she wanted to do, but she also knew she couldn't do it. She had told him last night that she wanted time to digest what was happening between them and she meant it, but at the same time she wanted to see where things between them would lead. But you can't have it both ways Gwendolyn Hotchkiss, a voice scolded. She sighed. What was she going to do? She had told Hank she loved him then tried to take it back. She couldn't blame him for being upset with her last night when she'd asked him to forget that she'd told him she loved him. She would have been upset too. She knew deep down that he loved her but she wasn't at all ready to hear him say it yet. The last man that said those words to her ended up breaking her heart in the end. She knew Hank was nothing like Ethan, she knew that but it still didn't stop her from being afraid that eventually he would hurt her. She knew he would never purposely hurt her, but wasn't that what Ethan told her too? Right before he called off their wedding? She shook her head then got up off the bed and pulled her white silk robe out of the closet then put it on, tying the belt around her waist. She walked toward her window on the other side of the room, knowing she couldn't look at the bathroom door any longer because Hank would be coming out soon and she had to get control of her emotions before he did. She might be resolved to not rushing things but she couldn't control herself when he was staring into her eyes. His eyes were the window to his heart. She could always tell how he was feeling by how he looked at her. She leaned a shoulder against the windowpane then raised a hand to the glass, wondering why she couldn't just allow herself to get lost in the way Hank made her feel. She loved him. She knew that. But she couldn't allow that love to cloud her judgment. Not right now. There were too many things she needed to figure out first. She needed to know if risking her friendship with Hank was worth it. He was the rock she had clung to over the last six months and she didn't know if she couldn't handle it if something went wrong between them and he was no longer there for her. Granted, it was a bit late to think about that since they'd already slept together, but last night all she had seen was the look in his eyes when he said he was dying to kiss her. She hadn't really thought about what it would mean. But she was thinking about it now. What if last night had been a mistake? She didn't think it had been but she'd been wrong before. What if she and Hank... Her thoughts were cut off as Hank opened the bathroom door and their eyes connected through the glass of the window. Her heart began to race at the desire she read in his eyes. God she wanted him, she thought moving her hand away from the glass and placing it over her stomach, but she knew it wouldn't be fair to either one of them if she gave into to that feeling before she was ready. She turned then sucked in a deep breath when she saw a drop of water fall from his hair and drip down his chest toward the waistband of his zipped but unbuttoned jeans. She licked her lips then let out a rush of air as he slowly began to make his way toward her. "Hank..." CHAPTER SEVEN Hank pulled open the bathroom door then sucked in a deep breath when he saw Gwen standing by the window, the morning sunlight casting a glow across her face. His eyes connected with hers through the glass and his heart literally stalled out in his chest. The look in her eyes, combined with the heat running through his veins was enough to make him forget every lecture he'd just told himself a few minutes before opening the door. Gwen turned around to look at him just as a drop of water fell from his hair and hit him in the chest before traveling downward to the waistband of his still unbuttoned jeans. He watched her suck in a deep breath then had to suck in one of his own as her eyes darkened to a deep black pool, a pool he quickly became lost in. Her tongue swept out across her lips to moisten them and that one action was his undoing. He started toward her, his eyes locked on hers, his body heat quickly rising. "Hank..." She whispered in a breathless voice that did nothing to squelch the desire rising within him. He stopped about an inch in front of her and asked the question with his eyes. She answered him with hers and a second later, he was pulling her into his arms and covering her soft full lips with his. He heard a moan as passion met passion, but he couldn't be sure if it was his moan or hers. He only knew he never wanted the kiss to end. She parted her lips and he thrust his tongue inside, coaxing hers into a duel that quickly set his body on fire. He sprayed his fingers over the small over her back and pressed her closer to him then had to stifle a groan as her own hands slid up his bare back, her nails lightly raking across his heated skin. He slid a hand around her waist toward the ties holding her robe together then found one end and pulled until the ties loosened enough so that he could part the robe and move his hand inside to touch her soft, heated flesh. She moaned as his hand smoothed over he silken stomach then sighed into his mouth as his palm covered her swollen breasts. He began to kneed her soft flesh then when he couldn't stand it anymore he pulled his mouth from hers and leaned down to take her breast into his mouth, rolling his tongue across her hardened nipple causing her to cry out with pleasure and him to grow harder than he imagined possible. "Oh Hank." He heard her whisper as her hands dove into his wet hair and held his head to her breast, arching her back to bring her more fully into his mouth. He locked an arm around her waist then held her to him as he continued his assault on her breast. She let out a low sexy moan and he smiled against her then lightly took her nipple between her teeth, holding her tight against him as she began to tremble. "Hank... please." He smiled then lowered a hand to the back of her knees and lifted her off the ground. A second later, he lowered her onto the bed and covered her body with his own, his mouth automatically descending to capture her lips again. "I love kissing you." He whispered as he moved his lips from her mouth to her neck then up to her ear and lightly tracing her lobe with his tongue. "I love -" "We have to stop." She said suddenly pushing him off her and jumping up from the bed, her hands flying to the ties of her robe and quickly pulling the material together, blocking his few of her delectable body. Hank threw an arm over his face then let out a loud frustrated groan. He should have known better than to use those two words with her, they scared her to death and he knew it. Yet they had flown so freely out of his mouth and he knew exactly how he would have finished the statement had she not interrupted him. He would have said the words... the three words that terrified her the most... I love you. * * * * * Gwen stared at the man lying on her bed, his arm draped across his face, and for the life of her could not think of a single word to say. What was wrong with her? He whispered two little words into her ear and she... she panicked. She took a deep breath then walked back toward the bed and lightly touched his arm. "Hank, I'm..." Her voice trailed off as he removed his arm from his face and his intense brown eyes locked onto hers. "Please do not say you're sorry." She swallowed hard. "But -." "No." He said shaking his head and rolling off the bed until his bare feet hit the floor. "It's okay. You don't have anything to apologize for. You told me you wanted to slow things down and I said that was okay... I'm the one that should apologize." "You?" Gwen asked walking toward him only to have him turn around and walk into the bathroom. She furrowed her brow then walked to the doorway and watched as he pushed his arms through the sleeves of his almost buttonless long sleeve shirt. "What are you doing?" "Putting on my shirt." He said as he pinched the cuffs of the sleeve together and buttoned them then buttoned the three remaining buttons left on the front of his shirt. "I have some stuff I have to do today and I need to run back to the B & B and change first." She nodded absently then watched as he knelt down and grabbed his socks and shoes off the floor and walked toward her. She met his eyes and knew he wanted her to move so he could leave, but someone her feet wouldn't get the message her brain was sending. "I don't want you to go." "Yes you do." He said raising his free hand to lightly touch her cheek. "Gwen, you said you needed time and my staying here any longer is not going to give you that time. You know it as well as I do." She did, but she still didn't want him to leave. "I know but -" "No buts." He said leaning his forehead against hers and staring into her eyes. "You need time and I need to go so you can have that time. I don't want to rush you into a relationship you aren't ready for and clearly right now you aren't ready for what's happening between us." "So you're just going to leave?" She asked raising her hand to the back of his head and lightly running her fingers through his still wet hair. "Without us talking about what just happened?" "What's there to say?" Hank asked lifting his head and gently running his knuckles across her cheek. "You stopped things because you weren't ready. " He gave her a ghost of a smile then rolled his fingers out until his palm rested flat against her cheek. "Ethan hurt you badly and I understand your need for things to go slow because of that. I can't promise you it will be easy keeping my hands off you, but I can promise that it won't go any further than a kiss or two... unless you initiate it of course. And in that case all bets are off." "So what you're saying is the next move is mine?" She asked raising her brow and giving him a smile. "Something like that." He said his smile widening while the look in his eyes captivated her. "I have to go right now because if you keep looking at me the way you are right now I will not be able to keep my promise to you." "Oh no?" She asked her smile growing even wider. "So what you're saying is..." "What I'm saying is you are far too tempting for your own good..." He stopped then leaned in to place a chaste kiss on her cheek. "And for mine." She closed her eyes as his lips pressed against her cheek and when she finally opened them again... he was gone. * * * * * Hank pulled his car into the parking lot of the Bennett B & B and shut off his engine, but made no move to get out of the car. He sighed as an image of Gwen's face appeared before him then leaned his head against the steering wheel column. All his life he had wanted to find someone as wonderful and as special as Gwen and now that he had found her, she was scared to death of hearing him say he was in love with her. He raised his head from the steering wheel then moved his hand to the ignition and pulled the keys out, opening the car door with his other hand in the process. The moment his feet touched the concrete of the driveway, he wished like hell he was still in the car. "Hey little brother." Sam said walking toward him with a smile that quickly turned into a frown when he took in his disheveled appearance. "You look like hell. What happened to you?" "I, um..." Hank's mind went blank as he glanced down at his wrinkled shirt and realized there was only three buttons on it, the lower three buttons which left his chest almost bare. He shook his head then raised a hand and ran it through his still damp hair. "Nothing and everything happened to me." "What does that mean?" Sam asked raising his brow. "You look like you -" "Like I what?" Hank asked his voice a little sharper than he intended. "Like you slept in those clothes." His brother finished his blue eyes questioning. "But then again you also look like you slept out of them too." Sam pointed to a spot where the material of his shirt had been ripped from Gwen's impatience to get it off and Hank couldn't stop himself from smiling in remembrance. Bu then he remembered that he wasn't alone and sobered instantly. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sam." "Sure you don't." Sam said his voice clearly showing his humor. "Don't worry I won't ask you who she was." "Thanks." Hank said releasing a breath he hadn't even been aware he was holding. He was definitely not ready to talk about him and Gwen yet. Not when things were so new and so fragile between them. "Don't thank me." Sam said turning to walk toward the house. He stopped when he reached the porch and turned back, allowing him to see the laughter in his eyes. "I won't ask who she was because I know Grace will find out for me." Ah, hell. "You wouldn't." Sam just smiled then turned around and walked inside the house. Hank closed his eyes then pointed his face toward the sky and prayed for once his big brother would not tell all to his wife. CHAPTER EIGHT Hank finished buttoning the last button on his gray flannel shirt then ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh of frustration. He knew he did the right thing in leaving Gwen's this morning before things got out of hand again, but damned if his body wasn't still screaming for him to go back. He'd taken another shower when he came in, this time a cold one, but it hadn't done him a damn bit of good. Because as soon as he stepped out of the shower, images of Gwen and him making love last night floated through his brain and he was lost all over again. The woman had seriously messed with his head at some point over the last few months. She'd done it in such away that he hadn't even seen it coming. One minute they were friends and the next minute they were lovers. Just like that they had made the switch, but now they were dealing with the consequences of that switch. At least, Gwen was. He already knew what he wanted. He wanted Gwen - body, mind, heart, and soul. But she, unfortunately, wasn't ready to hear that just yet. Thanks to Ethan "bozo" Crane and his abuse of the words I love you, Gwen was running scared from anything and everything that had to do with those three words and damned if he knew what to do about it. Shaking his head, he flopped down onto his bed, placed his hands underneath his head and stared up at the ceiling. But it wasn't really the ceiling he was seeing. No he was seeing Gwen. Well, Gwen's eyes to be more exact. He could still see the underlying emotions that passed through her eyes as she admitted that she had indeed told him she loved him. But then he remembered the setback of her asking him to forget what she told him and the smile that had broke out across his face suddenly turned into a frown. How in the hell was a man supposed to forget that a woman told him she loved him? Especially when he was in love with the woman? He groaned up at the ceiling then closed his eyes and let out a curse as the phone on his bedside table rang. He removed one hand from underneath his head then reached over and grabbed the phone, placing it to his ear, hoping against hope that it was Gwen while knowing deep down inside that it wasn't. "Hello?" "Hey, little brother." Sam said his voice full of what sounded like laughter. "Grace wants you to get your butt over here and have breakfast with the family." "Grace?" Hank choked out as he bolted up off the bed. "Sam, tell me you really didn't..." "What do you think?" Sam asked his smile practically bursting through the phone line. "She said to tell you breakfast will be ready in fifteen and if you're a minute late, she's coming to get you herself." Hank groaned as the dial tone sounded in his ear. He did not want to have dinner with his brother and his family this morning, especially when he knew the subject of where he was last night and who he was with was a given for coming up. Maybe Sam was just yanking his chain, he thought sliding his legs off the bed and getting to his feet, maybe he didn't really tell Grace that he hadn't come home last night. Yeah right, Hank thought as he began to scan the room with his eyes looking for the spot where he'd thrown his shoes before taking his second shower of the morning, there was no doubt in his mind that Sam told Grace. He knew she would be able to get the information out of him that he himself couldn't and he wasn't above letting him know it either. Realizing his shoes were nowhere in sight, he frowned. Where the hell did he throw them? He kneeled down to check under the bed then let out a groan when he saw them sticking out from underneath the chair on the other side of the room. He really had to pull himself together. If he went to Sam and Grace's in his current state, she'd have the truth out of him within two seconds of him walking inside the house. He got back onto his feet then walked over to the chair and sat down, reaching under it to pull out his shoes in the process. He was going to have breakfast with his brother's family, but he was not under any circumstances going to get into a discussion about his love life. He just wasn't going to talk about it. Satisfied with his decision, he gave a quick nod then pulled on his shoes and grabbed his keys off the table beside him. Maybe she wouldn't even bring it up, he thought opening the door and making his way toward the main house. Maybe he would get lucky and his brother really was just yanking his chain. Yeah right, Hank scoffed as he stopped in front of the backdoor to his brother's house, and maybe Charity really could see the future. He shook his head then reached down to open the door. "Hank!" Grace called out from her place at the kitchen stove. "We were just talking about you!" He groaned then cast a quick glance at his brother, who was sitting at the kitchen table. The look of laughter in Sam's blue eyes clinched what his gut had been telling him all along... he told her. * * * * * Gwen laid the contracts down on her desk then raised a hand to her throbbing head. She just couldn't seem to focus this morning. At least she couldn't seem to focus on work anyway. She was too busy focusing on what happened between her and Hank last night. Their 'date' had not turned out the way she had been expecting it too. She had been expecting it to turn out as all their other 'dates' had, but it hadn't. It hadn't because something had changed between them. She knew it stemmed from that kiss she had given him at the book cafe yesterday morning, but she couldn't help thinking that it went back even further than that. The underlying attraction between them had to have been there before, but neither of them picked up on it. She was getting over a broken heart and Hank... Hank was helping her to mend it. But why? Why had he struck up a friendship with her? Had he always been attracted to her and was waiting for the right time or had he been just as blown away by things as she was? She knew he had been surprised by that slight kiss she had given him at the book cafe, she'd seen it in his eyes, but she couldn't help feeling that he hadn't been as surprised by it as she was. Releasing a frustrated sigh, she got up from her desk and walked toward the window on the other side of the room, flipping the radio on as she passed it more than ready to get rid of the silence that cloaked her medium sized office. She had to figure out how she felt about the direction her relationship with Hank had taken, but she didn't know how to go about doing it or if she was even ready to do it. She had told Hank she loved him and she knew she meant it, but she also knew she had not be ready to say it. Yet she had said it. Why? Why had she said it aloud when she wasn't even conscious of feeling it? A song suddenly filled her ears and drew her attention to the radio that sat on the file cabinet to her right. It wasn't a song she particularly needed to hear right now, but she made no move to turn it off. She couldn't have even if she wanted to. It fit with what she was feeling entirely too well. I think I've already lost you I think you're already gone. I think I'm finally scared now You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong I think you're already leaving Feels like your hand is on the door I thought this place was an empire But now I'm relaxed - I can't be sure Gwen felt the tears start to sting her eyes and reached up to quickly wipe them away. Tears would not help her with her problem. She didn't know what would, but she knew tears would only make her feel ten times worse. She closed her eyes as she listened to the words of the song, feeling like they were trying to tell her something yet not understanding what it was. I think you're so mean - I think we should try I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - I think too much I know this is wrong it's a problem I'm dealing If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home Cuz there's a little bit of something me In everything in you Gwen swallowed hard as the song continued to invade her thoughts. Why was it affecting her so much? Why did the words seem to be calling out to her, begging her to understand them? She didn't understand, yet deep down she knew she should. She knew she should understand what the words meant, but somehow her brain wouldn't quite comprehend them. I bet you're hard to get over I bet the room just won't shine I bet my hands I can stay here I bet you need - more than you mind I think you're so mean - I think we should try I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - that I know too much I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling Scared, she thought the words finally penetrating through her brain. She was scared. She was scared of the feelings wrapping themselves around her heart. She was scared to analyze those feelings almost as scared as she was of feeling them. If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home cuz there's a little bit of something me In everything in you I think you're so mean - I think we should try I think I could need - this in my life I think I'm just scared - do I talk too much I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm dealing If you're gone - maybe it's time to go home There's an awful lot of breathing room But I can hardly move If you're gone - baby you need to come home cuz there's a little bit of something me In everything in you Ethan and Hank... this song reminded her of both of them. That was the reason for the tears and the feelings coursing through her right now. The song reminded her of the man she'd lost and also the man she'd found. Two men, completely and totally different, yet somehow in her mind, they had become one in the same. Love, she thought reaching up to wipe away the rest of her tears. The reason they seemed the same was because of that one little word. She had loved Ethan. He had claimed to love her, but then he had broken her heart. It took her months to get over that heartbreak and in some ways she still wasn't over it. And now here she was, six months after her breakup with Ethan and somehow or another she'd fallen in love with Hank, a man who had become her best friend in the weeks following Ethan calling off the wedding and telling her he was in love with another woman. How did she know it wasn't just a rebound thing? She'd never had her heart broken before so how did she know that what she felt for Hank was real and not something she just felt because he had been there for her through one of the roughest times of her life? It was true that what she felt for Hank was completely different than what she felt for Ethan, but how could she trust it? How could she trust him not to break her heart the way Ethan did? She trusted Hank with a lot of things, her thoughts, her feelings, her beliefs, but she wasn't at all sure she could trust him with her heart. Then again, it didn't really matter whether or not she could trust him with it, because it was already too late. He'd already managed to steal it and she hadn't even been aware it was missing. * * * * * "So Hank," Grace said as she placed his pancakes on the table in front of him. "Sam tells me that you're seeing someone. Is it anyone we know?" Hank inwardly groaned then sent his obnoxiously grinning older brother a glare. "I think you do, but I don't think I'm ready to discuss it quite yet. It's still a little new and... and I'm just trying to figure things out first." He watched Sam's eyebrows arch in surprise, but he turned his attention to the pancakes in front of him, not wanting to give Sam an opportunity to ask him what he meant. He knew it would later, but later was much better than now. He just couldn't handle talking about her now. His emotions were still too raw from what happened between them last night and this morning. He knew what he was feeling was love and he knew that she returned it, but he also knew it scared the hell out of her and kept her from admitting it and letting him admit it too. Hell, maybe neither one of them was ready for what was happening between them. It had snuck up on him just as much as it had snuck up on her. Sure, he'd gotten the feeling now and again that their relationship went a little beyond the kind that friends have, but before last night it had just been that... a feeling. Now he KNEW it went beyond the friend stage and he was a little out of his element on how to deal with it. If she wasn't so scared about loving someone and being loved back things would be different, easier, but the truth of the matter was, she was scared. She was scared to trust the love he had for her and the love she had for him. Why? Because Ethan Crane was an idiot, he thought feeling the anger at his treatment of Gwen start to rise within him again. The jerk had taken her love for granted and in the end, he'd destroyed her belief in it. How was someone supposed to get over something like that? He sighed then frowned when he looked up and met his brother's inquisitive blue-eyed stare. Just great, he thought shaking his head, the last thing he needed was for Sam to go into cop mode and start asking him a hundred different questions. He averted his eyes from Sam's then reached down to pick up the glass of milk that Grace had set in front of him. He took a healthy sip then sat it back down onto the table and began to finish off the pancakes that Grace had sat in front of him. He didn't really taste them at all, but he knew he had to eat them because if he didn't then Sam and Grace would both start asking him questions and a double team by well meaning family members was the last thing on earth he needed right now. He was asking himself enough questions already. He certainly didn't need anyone else's to add to his list. To Be Continued... Author of over 40 fan fiction stories, some of which include:
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Replies
| Sweet Kiss Of Revenge *Story #1 in Falling Fast Series* | OKDeanna | 10/15/02 9:01 am |
| A Kiss Among Friends *Story #2 in Falling Fast Series* | OKDeanna | 10/15/02 9:03 am |
| More Than Friends: Ch 1-4 *Story #3in Falling Fast Series* | OKDeanna | 10/15/02 9:06 am |
| More Than Friends: Ch 5-8 *Story #3 in Falling Fast Series* | OKDeanna | 10/15/02 9:09 am |
| More Than Friends: Ch 9-10 *Story #3 in Falling Fast Series* | OKDeanna | 10/15/02 9:11 am |
| this story was very intriguing, learning from both of their | unknown | 10/21/02 6:24 pm |
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