Suicide

First of all this is a heck of a long post.. hope you don't get bored...

Billy, are you a christian? It sounds like you may need to ask God to help you. Pray without ceasing, as the bible says. The bible also says, i don't know where, that God will not let you encounter anything that you cannot handle. If it seems you can't withstand it by yourself then you must question, why are you doing it on your own? God is always there for you all you have to do is ask. The bible says in Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who gives me strength."

I personally can't relate to you at all. I never seriously considered suicide. The closes i got was looking over an edge thinking, 'if i jump off will i be with God?' this was during a time where i didn't really have as strong a relationship to God as I do now.

I can't understand the extent people tease you cause I have not been one to be teased or picked on much. I can tell you that you may want to act more like they do and stuff so that you fit in better, however do not comprimise your relationship with God in order to do so. I was teased only a little in my life and the people that teased me are now nice to me cause I just ignored them when they did it and was nice to them at every opportunity. I tried to show love to them despite what they did. I also prayed a lot and God helped me out.

I just want to know, what makes you think life is so bad that it isn't worth living? Is it not amazing how life is. God created us in his own image. In Gods IMAGE!! Doesn't that make you feel so wonderful? It does for me! Concerning your parents, what can I say... bear with it. My parents are reasonable so I don't deal with that. But you could be an overachiever if you are not already one. Study for about 5 hours a day, do all your homework. Go in after school for help. Those are good ways to get a 4.0 GPA. I should try that myself, except I'm too lazy...

I think maybe making a list would help you. Try to make a list of every good thing in your life. All the people that care for you, all the fun things you can do, all the blessings Gods given you. Try your hardest to make a huge list and then read it all and then you may realize there are many things in life that make it worth living. My pastor shared a story with our church once. It was about a farmer who wanted to sell his property. He had the appraisal person come over to estimate the price of the house and to get an advertisement set up. As he listed all the features about his property, like the nice river and pond, the corn fields, the pastures and stables. Then at the end he realized that he didn't want to sell the property after all it was just what he was looking for.!! You too may realize that if you make a list.

Also talk to Sirnukes. He really is great to talk to about anything.

Now I feel guilty... there's one scrawny boy at my school everyone picks on cause he is arrogant and outspoken and irritating. He always tries to hang around me and my friends cause he thinks of us as "equals" cause he doesn't seem to associate with others much. I feel bad for all the times I joined in when people joked behind his back and stuff. Sometimes those who joke about him in front of his face overdo it and he starts to cry in class and stuff. He now cries over small stuff too. I can't help but feel maybe everyone who teased him traumatized him and he will forever be affected by it... I only joined in 1 or 2 times and he couldn't have heard me but I still feel guilty because of it.

"Give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Chris Jesus." 1Thessalonians 5:18

Author	Comment
BillyJo3 Private First Class Posts: 49 (12/6/00 11:26 pm) Reply	Suicide I dont know hot to phrase this to not seem dimwitted or unbelivably intollerable but. Suicide has a been a thought floating around in my mind for quite someitime. I get fed up with constant laughter about me behind my back, or the friends i thought i once had turning into complete A-Holes. I get the feeling sometimes i have no point. I am grounded for a 78 my parents expect the best. ive told them i try as hard as i can but they dont believe me. I am picked on at school because i seem large but really i look 230 i weigh 280 i bench that and i can legpress nearly three times that. I just dont see why people get the feeling to tease make fun of or even how they get shtick out of my self pity. Thats what i feel like at times 100% Pitiful. I just want to curl up in a small ball where noone can touch me and die. I dont know what to do. People seem to like me but behind my back they make fun of me. I started drinking occasionally so that i could fall asleep without having to think of everything that happens to me every day of my life. I have dont drugs but i quit. I just need help advice something as of right now i know all of u are more then likely thinking to yourselves. Geeze what a complete loser thinking about suicide. Well as a counter-defense. Are u bigger then your average class mate? Do u get made fun of because of your personality? Do u get made fun of for attempting to ask questions or if u think u know something u try to back it up but then get put down by fellow classmates or teachers? Do u get called names? well hate to tell you I do. Ive been fed up with it for quite some time. Yah Yah but we all have problems! ok we all have problems try living as one of the people in class who tease u so consistantly you dispise going to school for fear it might be your last bit of self respect you have, and it gets thrown away because some mean little immature kid down the hall sees you coming and decides to make fun of you. aggresion and despisition have been in my life since i was an adolescent. I am sick of it. please help me. dont respond let it wear off or, that just means they arent confident of themselves. Well ok if they arent confident about themselves then how do u think it feels to be the one person made fun of with some of the tinyest drops of worth you wish u had. I just feel somenights like sitting in bed and crying wishing i could go somewhere, where the bad man cant hurt me. or somewhere where i wont feel the need to kill myself because of an immature teenager. I dont want to die that way but the choices are so slim. let it continue for the rest of my life. or death? i can think of nothing better. ~May God be with you and may he be with me, For life is not as pretty as it used to be. ~ ~Jo3~
Mattathias Private Posts: 9 (12/7/00 1:00 am) Reply	Re: Suicide First of all this is a heck of a long post.. hope you don't get bored... Billy, are you a christian? It sounds like you may need to ask God to help you. Pray without ceasing, as the bible says. The bible also says, i don't know where, that God will not let you encounter anything that you cannot handle. If it seems you can't withstand it by yourself then you must question, why are you doing it on your own? God is always there for you all you have to do is ask. The bible says in Phillipians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who gives me strength." I personally can't relate to you at all. I never seriously considered suicide. The closes i got was looking over an edge thinking, 'if i jump off will i be with God?' this was during a time where i didn't really have as strong a relationship to God as I do now. I can't understand the extent people tease you cause I have not been one to be teased or picked on much. I can tell you that you may want to act more like they do and stuff so that you fit in better, however do not comprimise your relationship with God in order to do so. I was teased only a little in my life and the people that teased me are now nice to me cause I just ignored them when they did it and was nice to them at every opportunity. I tried to show love to them despite what they did. I also prayed a lot and God helped me out. I just want to know, what makes you think life is so bad that it isn't worth living? Is it not amazing how life is. God created us in his own image. In Gods IMAGE!! Doesn't that make you feel so wonderful? It does for me! Concerning your parents, what can I say... bear with it. My parents are reasonable so I don't deal with that. But you could be an overachiever if you are not already one. Study for about 5 hours a day, do all your homework. Go in after school for help. Those are good ways to get a 4.0 GPA. I should try that myself, except I'm too lazy... I think maybe making a list would help you. Try to make a list of every good thing in your life. All the people that care for you, all the fun things you can do, all the blessings Gods given you. Try your hardest to make a huge list and then read it all and then you may realize there are many things in life that make it worth living. My pastor shared a story with our church once. It was about a farmer who wanted to sell his property. He had the appraisal person come over to estimate the price of the house and to get an advertisement set up. As he listed all the features about his property, like the nice river and pond, the corn fields, the pastures and stables. Then at the end he realized that he didn't want to sell the property after all it was just what he was looking for.!! You too may realize that if you make a list. Also talk to Sirnukes. He really is great to talk to about anything. Now I feel guilty... there's one scrawny boy at my school everyone picks on cause he is arrogant and outspoken and irritating. He always tries to hang around me and my friends cause he thinks of us as "equals" cause he doesn't seem to associate with others much. I feel bad for all the times I joined in when people joked behind his back and stuff. Sometimes those who joke about him in front of his face overdo it and he starts to cry in class and stuff. He now cries over small stuff too. I can't help but feel maybe everyone who teased him traumatized him and he will forever be affected by it... I only joined in 1 or 2 times and he couldn't have heard me but I still feel guilty because of it. *"Give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Chris Jesus." 1Thessalonians 5:18*
spaceman spiff Colonel Posts: 759 (12/7/00 1:11 am) Reply	Re: Suicide BillyJoe...no, i'm not thinking how much of a loser you are. in fact, you are not a loser, my friend. Just pray to God as much as you can, and talk to your teachers, talk to your pastor, talk to anybody. Just please don't commit suicide. BillyJoe, I think you're cool, and if you don't have any friends, i would be more than willing to be one. I'm always on MSN Messenger. Talk to your parents. You would not believe how good they can be to you. When i'm feeling down in the dumps like you, i can talk to them. You would not believe how much God has going for your life. Most importantly, PRAY TO GOD. He loves you. No, he does not think you are a loser or anything. And cut out the drinking habit. Even if it gives you a sense of...security, the best i can sum it up, it will only lead to turmoil down the road. Yes, i do get called names. Yes, I am larger than my average classmate. I basically answered "yes" to all of those. The thing you need is a friend. We're all your friends. Meremoth, SirNukes, Wildflames, me...we like you, we think you're cool. So whatever you do, don't commit suicide. I would be so sad, your parents would be so sad, your teachers and even classmates would be sad. I bet you that they would. BillyJoe, I hope all of us will agree with me that we're all your friends. No matter what happens, or what you do, we'll be your friends. No matter what. Like that Toy Story song: (Hope i don't sound hokey.) "You got a friend in me. You got a friend in me. Uh...blah blah blah blah... When your miles and miles from your nice warm bed. You just remember what your old pal said For you've got a friend in me. Some folks might be a little smarter than i am A little stronger too.. Well i still like you the way i do you and me boy And as the years go by, our friendship will never die. Don't you see it's our destiny You got a friend in me." (If i sounded hokey, don't make fun of me. I'm trying to help out a fellow clanmate. Besides, I like that movie. :)) Alright? Just know that you've got more friends than you think. (Spaceman showing his sentimental side! WOW! That's RARE!) Christian Punk Addicted to God, Rock, and Skateboarding.
spaceman spiff Colonel Posts: 760 (12/7/00 1:14 am) Reply	Re: Suicide Oh yeah, I will pray for you. Christian Punk Addicted to God, Rock, and Skateboarding.
RshScks Sergeant Posts: 155 (12/7/00 2:42 am) Reply	I know where you are coming from I am a big guy as well, I am 6'5 280 pounds as well. I used to get made fun of cause of my size in High School as well. I used to think to myself about life not being worth it as well. I am not trying to sound rude hear, but suicide is a very selfish act to commit, it is you telling good that you do not like the life he has gave you so much, that you are willing to end it. I have experiences all the things you are going through, it @#%$ at times, but it will make you stronger. I started to drink as well, cause I thought it was the only way to be excepted. That is not the way either, my escape was through sports, if it was not for sports I would not have made it. Try to find an activity that takes your mind off everything. Do not feel like you are alone with these feelings, and do not think by me saying I know what you are going through, is just a way for me to make you feel better. I have gone through what you are going through, it will only make you stronger, for the ones who make fun of you are truly the lost ones. They try to fit in my breaking down others, they have a great facade on the outside, making it look like they are happy, when the truth is they are miserable. If you need to talk to someone in private you can talk to me, I have gone through what you have
Wyre Mitch Lance Corporal Posts: 69 (12/7/00 3:59 pm) Reply	Re: I know where you are coming from I guess we're just the fat boys of FKOC. (j/k) I'm big as well. I got made fun of too. I hate to sound like everyone else, but you sounded as if you were describing me 5 or 6 years ago. I think it all got better for me when I stopped caring what other people thought. Of course, that was also whaen I became a Christian. Maybe they could tell I didn't care anymore, and got no pleasure, cause they were causing no pain. oh BTW, I was gonna reply last night, but I thought I'd catch you on MSN instead, but you weren't answering. (Guess you were just away from the comp.) :) ... [ Wyre ] ... liquid2k.com/wyre/
BillyJo3 Private First Class Posts: 50 (12/7/00 5:13 pm) Reply	ok Yah i dont feel that calling me selfish is very nice... yah i know god gave me the life and all but it just doesnt feel right trying to serve him with people on my back.. ill pary for it and ill try and make it better.... O the name is Dustin Not billyjoe thats a nick... sorri... ~Jo3~
followingHim Private Posts: 1 (12/7/00 7:36 pm) Reply	Re: Suicide Hey Dustin, believe me my friend I can relate to what you are going through. People picked on me for different reasons than you but I have been there. I have thought about suicide many many times. I have made a lot of bad choices in my life and I am sooo thankful to God I did not make that one. Cause I wouldnot have had a chance to make the right choice. The only one that truly matters. You have to understand Dustin that we are on this earth for a very very short time. Sure it seems long with someone bullying you right now but still it goes by faster than you think. If I told u what I have been through u might think your troubles are not so bad. And I will if you ask me too. The old me is not something nice to talk about though, might even make you sick... But what I did to make it ALL go away. Well, It didn't all go away but I just didn't care what people thought or said and it freaks them out cause I always have this big-ole-smile on my face. Cause I know it don't matter anymore. I have Christ... And He has me... When you grow in Him you know this life is short and you know that the life with Him is never ending and more AWESOME than our little minds can begin to imagine. I too will pray for u Dustin... By the way I am Billy
RshScks Sergeant Posts: 158 (12/7/00 7:47 pm) Reply	I was not calling you selfish overall Commiting Suicide is a selfish deed however. Being a Christian is not easy, it says it in the bible everywhere, if it where easy everyone would be one. A lot of us in FKOC have gone through what you are going through, it @#%$, but it makes you stronger, do not worry about what others think.
SirNukes General Posts: 616 (12/7/00 8:46 pm) Reply	Re: I was not calling you selfish overall Ah, got mentioned twice.. cool. I, as many others, have gone through something similar as well. The differances: I'm thin and I made fun of because I am just generally unpopular (last to be picked in any sport except soccer, have never had a girlfriend, etc). In fact, I'm still in nearly the same situation today, except things don't get to me anymore. Now, how did I stop things from getting to me? What advice can I give you that will help in your situation? Focus on God! By doing so, I never considered suicide, never came close to touching alcohol (and my mom certainly has enough beer around for me to drink if I wanted to), never cnosidered drugs, and basically never conformed to the godless society around us. That is where you are going wrong, from what I can tell. You aren't showing love to others and forgiving them. A verse I ran past about 20 minutes ago: Galations 5:6b - "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Focus on God, love others, and you will not just be feeling fine, but great! People insult you? Love them anyway. Matthew 5:43-48 -(Jesus speaking) "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enimy.' But I tell you: Love your enimies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and send rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." I would be thrilled if you took my advice to heart and focused on God, but the choice is ultimatly yours: God, who loves you even after you have rejected him... who even sent his son to die as atonement for your sin; or man, who continues to hate you after having rejected you... who has done nothing for you. p.s.s. Mattathias' verse: 1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
followingHim Private Posts: 2 (12/7/00 9:02 pm) Reply	Re: I was not calling you selfish overall Amen... SirNukes
BillyJo3 Lance Corporal Posts: 52 (12/7/00 9:09 pm) Reply	yah but OK yes i havent gone away from god but im timid.. why would this kind of stuff happen to me? what did i do? ive had the thought never attempted or anything but ive been thinking about it more and more latly because its getting worse and worse... to my astonishment.. im gettin deeper and deeper in self pitty... i have my youth group and my youth leader.. other then that.. im treat like suck all the time. the way they do it hurts me even more.. they do it just to @#%$ me off. they know it gets to me. im not a grinch or a person who keeps feelings to myself.. girls like me because im sweet they say. guys dont like me because i act like a guy shuold act. decent. if not better... i just... i just dont know how i need to feel. should anger and pain be normal?? because if so im 150% normal ~Jo3~
followingHim Private Posts: 3 (12/7/00 9:45 pm) Reply	Re: yah but You unknowingly just said what the salutation to all this is... You said they do this because they know how it gets to you. I think if you take the fun out of it for them it will stop. It will take a little time though. What exactly do you do when they come down on you? And what do they do after that? Edited by: followingHim at: 12/7/00 9:49:13 pm
Mattathias Private First Class Posts: 14 (12/7/00 9:58 pm) Reply	Re: yah but Following him his right. Many people do it just to get a reaction out of you. That's why when i get teased i just ignore their comments. *"Give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Chris Jesus." 1Thessalonians 5:18*
BillyJo3 Lance Corporal Posts: 59 (12/7/00 10:21 pm) Reply	Re: yah but ok... stupid people go pick on somebody else.. ~Jo3~
followingHim Private Posts: 4 (12/7/00 10:44 pm) Reply	Re: yah but I think the answer here is math... negative + negative = negative... Positive is always greater than negative so negative + positive = positive... When they put u down, try not to let it get to u and always have a positive comeback. Something like: Their put down + whatever, by the way I like your bike. (or whatever fits) = in time a positive response... Edited by: followingHim at: 12/7/00 10:47:09 pm
BillyJo3 Lance Corporal Posts: 61 (12/7/00 10:59 pm) Reply	Re: yah but still depressed.... any cure for that? ~Jo3~
followingHim Private Posts: 5 (12/7/00 11:03 pm) Reply	Re: yah but Sure... Gota fix for that too... Jesus loves you just the way you are and so do I...
Mattathias Private First Class Posts: 15 (12/7/00 11:12 pm) Reply	Re: yah but Yup that's a real helpful encouragement. That Jesus loves us despite our shorcomings, and faults. *"Give thanks in all circumstances for this is Gods will for you in Chris Jesus." 1Thessalonians 5:18*
BillyJo3 Lance Corporal Posts: 62 (12/7/00 11:14 pm) Reply	Re: yah but ok jesus loves me... still depressed.. im thinking like a book or a webpage. anger managment. something... i want to ram my head into a brick wall... ~Jo3~
followingHim Private Posts: 6 (12/7/00 11:24 pm) Reply	Re: yah but If u like u can try www.apa.org/pubinfo/anger.html I will keep praying for u... Let me know if there is anything I can do ta help...

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